What do I do? Quit?

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Ok, so I don't know what to do. I don't know if I'm a freak, or if other nurses go through this. I have only been a nurse for four years. I love what I do, but I think I am going to have to stop. I have a RIDICULOUS amount of anxiety. I think about each and every thing I have ever done as a nurse and second guess myself. I OBSESS about every decision I have ever made. "Did I do that wrong?" "Did I give too much fluid?" etc etc etc....I have let it consume me. I let myself take a fear and run wild with it....until I have convinced myself that I have ruined the lives of every patient I have ever cared for. I am letting my marriage go down the toilet because I come home and worry. Please help me. I don't know if I need psychiatric help......or if other nurses go through this??? Do I need to find another field? I am strong in my faith and this is really hard for me to accept....that I would give up a career because of fear of harming someone. I need your advice! PLEASE!

Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

I have/had terrible anxiety issues as well, and four years is a long time to feel that way! So first big hugs and I am so glad you made the choice to reach out to the community at large- a very difficult thing to do I know!! You don't mention if you've been in the same job/unit the whole time or if you have switched around a few times. It's very common to have the whole gamut of symptoms rear their ugly heads whenever there is a change of any kind.

If your marriage and peace of mind are at risk to this degree it is nothing to play around with. There are sources of treatment that don't involve pharmaceuticals, and some that do. In fact, the sheer number of "cure" suggestions from everyone around you can be overwhelming in itself. It's impossible on a message board to give advice- we don't know enough. But do not quit!! The tendency to anxiety is always there, but the good news is it can be managed.

Do you have a primary care doc, counselor or clergy person you trust, have a good rapport with, and can help you sort out the various paths of treatment available to you? That is a good first step. Do not feel like any of this is your fault or a failure of character. It's extremely common to varying degrees among nurses, which isn't surprising considering the nature of what we do. Try not to despair! Send me a PM if you would like to, and remember you are not alone! :)

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Specializes in Med Surg, Ortho.

Well, I was looking at your other posts to determine what kind of nursing you're in which appears to be in OB.

You stated back in May of 10 that you were "3 years into nursing" and now this post you're saying 4 yrs.

The OP stated in her only 2 posts on this site that she is in OB and that she started in OB.

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How long you've been a nurse is irrelevant. If anxiety and worry are interfering in your life and harming relationships, it's a problem that needs correcting.

Most hospitals offer counseling for employees (at least everyone I've worked for has) that is free. Start there and see how it goes.

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Actually no it's not. This nurse is questioning what she is doing which is healthy...and they care despite how many years of experience they have. Honestly its about finding an area of nursing that you are most comfortable with. And maybe nursing isnt for them, but I doubt it. What they are going through is normal, because that is the way the job is set up. In my opinion if you don't care about your job, then you don't have any issues.

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In my opinion, you DO NOT need to see a psychiatrist. I went through the same thing, you care about what you do, you give a 100% and it's still not good enough. Perfectionists and people who care put themselves through this. I totally wanted to end my nursing career but I found corrections to be perfect to me. Sometimes it's all about finding the right nursing job. Don't give up on the nursing since you worked so hard for it, but if you have to, then do it! Do what makes you happy. Being licensed is an accomplishment, you do not have to go through it if you don't want too. Life is too short to worry about bull !

All fine and dandy to write on paper.

"Perfectionists and people who care put themselves through this" Definitely not for four years on the ame tocni

Perfectionists and people who care don't put themselves through this because they wouldn't have enough healthy cardiac and other organs to last them their lifetime.

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Specializes in Hem/Onc, LTC, AL, Homecare, Mgmt, Psych.

I can identify with your post-- I am sorry to hear you are having a bad time right now. I was at the point once where I couldn't stop thinking about work, what kind of crap I would have to deal with the next day, what I may have forgotten to do, how much I despised certain co-workers, what if I get sued and lose the license I worked so hard for etc etc. When I realized I was worrying about work 24/7 (well... after my husband called me on it) I made an appt with my doctor (to rule out a physical reason for being so down), next went to a counselor and eventually tried an antidepressant. Nothing was really clicking or making me feel better.

Then I figured it out: What I needed was TIME OFF (mental health break). One of the things I did during my week off was go window shopping. I ended up spending all my time in Barnes and Noble, and bought this self help book about retraining your brain. It teaches you to think about solving your problems, not by obsessive worry but by writing down your 1) problems, 2) options, and 3) solutions. The book also helped me to plan out realistic goals for myself, relationships, work and money. Also, look up self hypnosis and start doing it daily. Visualize playing your whole day out successfully, write your own story with a happy ending. It was really difficult for me to start self hypnosis but now it is very easy to do. I also took some classes, a yoga one and a swimming class and think that exercise is a good way to get rid of those negative/toxic thoughts. Make sure you are not neglecting yourself. I also got myself a subscription to AJN. By reading about nursing I feel more competent as well.

Remind yourself that nursing has so many different areas to work in. After you take some time for yourself and start feeling better all the other components will hopefully fall into place. You'll be able to enjoy time with your husband and family again and become more productive and happy at work. After all: Is all this worrying really what life should be about? HECK NO.

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Specializes in Pediatric.

Seek psychiatric help. You'll be glad you did; something as simple as talk therapy and a Xanax a day could do wonders.

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Specializes in Geriatric Nursing.

Do not quit ... what you need is a professional help....

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Your employer likely has an Employee Assistance Program, which is confidential. They'll offer you X number of free counseling sessions, with the opportunity to be referred to someone in the community after those sessions are up at your health plan's normal mental health co-pay. Additionally, if it sounds like pharmacotherapy can help you, they'll refer you to either your PCP or a psychiatrist for medications.

It sounds like you may have started with a normal amount of anxiety that's now crossed into something more. Call your EAP and get yourself some help for your own peace of mind, which you so desperately need.

Good luck you you, and please come back and update us on how things work out for you.

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Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
Ok, so I don't know what to do. I don't know if I'm a freak, or if other nurses go through this. I have only been a nurse for four years. I love what I do, but I think I am going to have to stop. I have a RIDICULOUS amount of anxiety. I think about each and every thing I have ever done as a nurse and second guess myself. I OBSESS about every decision I have ever made. "Did I do that wrong?" "Did I give too much fluid?" etc etc etc....I have let it consume me. I let myself take a fear and run wild with it....until I have convinced myself that I have ruined the lives of every patient I have ever cared for. I am letting my marriage go down the toilet because I come home and worry. Please help me. I don't know if I need psychiatric help......or if other nurses go through this??? Do I need to find another field? I am strong in my faith and this is really hard for me to accept....that I would give up a career because of fear of harming someone. I need your advice! PLEASE!

I think that you do need to seek counseling. While nursing is a job where the chance to harm is not far from us, an anxiety disorder can escalate those worrying thoughts to unreasonable heights. Most nurses do question themselves, but, if this is to the point that this has affected your private life, then, please seek assistance. Maybe talking to someone, being assessed and treated can decrease the anxiety. I sincerely wish you the best, and keep in contact with us.

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Specializes in PACU, OR.

First question: did something happen in your early nursing days that you felt guilty about? Perhaps lost a patient? It sounds like you have some serious issues with confidence and professional self-image.

Second question: are there other things that you obsess or worry about? Silly things like, "did I lock the door when I left for work? Did I switch the kettle off?" If you do, then that suggests an obsessive-compulsive tendency, and I confess that's the first term that came up in my mind when I read your post.

I would not suggest you run straight to a psychiatrist; rather seek professional counselling from a clinical psychologist. They are excellent at helping people overcome behavioral problems and stress-related disorders. And don't put it off either! Do it now!

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Actually no it's not. This nurse is questioning what she is doing which is healthy...and they care despite how many years of experience they have. Honestly its about finding an area of nursing that you are most comfortable with. And maybe nursing isnt for them, but I doubt it. What they are going through is normal, because that is the way the job is set up. In my opinion if you don't care about your job, then you don't have any issues.

It's not healthy.

It's something that is now consuming other aspects of her life (red flag!) and...

It causes her to be further anxious about her anxious behavior (red flag!).

When a behavior causes one to be distressed, it's not right.

She could try switching jobs... but she LOVES her job.

What she "loves" shouldn't do that to her... and NOT for four years.

I vote "counselor".

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