What is the dumbest order you ever read?

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I thought I had seen some AH orders but yesterday took the all time win! I had a 97 year old man admitted from ER with impaction and the order said---- "Give oil retention enema and have pt. hold for one hour." I am LMAO as I am thinking "OK where am I going to find a cork.:roll :chuckle

My favorite was actually an admitting diagnosis on the chart, "In fart"

Thats gotta hurt!!:chuckle

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Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.

OOBTC. Not a jcaho approved abbreviation.

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Specializes in L&D, PP, Nursery.

I once got a verbal order at 0200 from an OB " when the water starts to boil, put the spaghetti in" hmmm wonder what he was dreaming about when I was so rude to wake him up? He got razzed about that one for a long time!

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Specializes in Cardiac ICU, Med/Surg, Ob/Gyn Onc.

obtundant patient and an order for "peanut butter sandwich - STAT" !!!

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I once got a verbal order at 0200 from an OB " when the water starts to boil, put the spaghetti in" hmmm wonder what he was dreaming about when I was so rude to wake him up? He got razzed about that one for a long time!

That is REALLY funny.

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Specializes in Pediatrics Only.
I once got a verbal order at 0200 from an OB " when the water starts to boil, put the spaghetti in" hmmm wonder what he was dreaming about when I was so rude to wake him up? He got razzed about that one for a long time!

OMG thats the best one ever!!!

:hhmth:

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Specializes in ICU. Med/Surg: Ortho, Neuro, & Cardiac.

Once a nurse took a verbal order from a physician at 0300 (obviously sleeping very hard) for a K+ of 3.0 and he said give her a glass of orange juice and he'll follow up in about six hours.

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Specializes in A little of this & a little of that.

"Night shift to do pulse oximetry on room air while patient sleeping. Exercise oximetry."

Already has order for portable O2 when amb due to de-satting. This order made it onto the Kardex. I did the sleep oximetry but couldn't quite figure out if I was to exercise the pt while asleep or what.

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Specializes in Medical/Surgical.

Chapstick prn.

Do not allow this triple lumen to be accidentally pulled out.

Keep the member elevated. (hmmmm)

Open drapes at 0600.

Do not put sticky notes on the front of my charts. (an actual order on a chart)

Thin this chart.

On the same page of orders:

Time = 2000

*Vital signs q4.

*Flagyl 250mg po q8 hours. First dose now.

*CBC, CMP in am (our docs want labs drawn at 0500 so results are in

when they round at 0600)

*Please allow patient to sleep between the hours of 0000 and 0600.

(So which do we follow doc?? VS at 2, Flagyl at 4, labs at 5? Or let her sleep?)

We had a doc that would only order mineral oil in juice po for constipation. Yuck.

Mountain Dew po with meals.

Doc orders morphine for a patient with a pulled muscle in her back. I call back to see if we can maybe get her a muscle relaxer as the Morphine is not working.... He says "Sure, do whatever you want." Was serious, not sarcastic. I was like "So ummmm, what med?" "What do you think?" he says. I pause... "Ummmm, maybe Flexaril 10mg po q8prn??" "Good, we'll go with that!" he says. "Thanks!" he says.

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Specializes in NICU.

This was the order I had a few days ago:

"No new orders"

:D

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Give beta blocker when pulse is better. Uh, well, better than 30 could be broadly construed. How about some actual numbers, Doc? And how about get him off that bb totally?

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Chapstick prn.

Do not allow this triple lumen to be accidentally pulled out.

Keep the member elevated. (hmmmm)

Open drapes at 0600.

Do not put sticky notes on the front of my charts. (an actual order on a chart)

Thin this chart.

On the same page of orders:

Time = 2000

*Vital signs q4.

*Flagyl 250mg po q8 hours. First dose now.

*CBC, CMP in am (our docs want labs drawn at 0500 so results are in

when they round at 0600)

*Please allow patient to sleep between the hours of 0000 and 0600.

(So which do we follow doc?? VS at 2, Flagyl at 4, labs at 5? Or let her sleep?)

We had a doc that would only order mineral oil in juice po for constipation. Yuck.

Mountain Dew po with meals.

Doc orders morphine for a patient with a pulled muscle in her back. I call back to see if we can maybe get her a muscle relaxer as the Morphine is not working.... He says "Sure, do whatever you want." Was serious, not sarcastic. I was like "So ummmm, what med?" "What do you think?" he says. I pause... "Ummmm, maybe Flexaril 10mg po q8prn??" "Good, we'll go with that!" he says. "Thanks!" he says.

I can't drink oil to save my soul. I'd be sending someone out to the drug store to get me an enema kit.

Doctors like to have nurses do the ordering when they don't know what to order, don't you know?

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