What is the dumbest order you ever read?

Nurses General Nursing

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I thought I had seen some AH orders but yesterday took the all time win! I had a 97 year old man admitted from ER with impaction and the order said---- "Give oil retention enema and have pt. hold for one hour." I am LMAO as I am thinking "OK where am I going to find a cork.:roll :chuckle

Specializes in Telemetry & Obs.
On a rehab unit I worked, The day charge wrote we should document "nature of flatus" on all patients. :D

Sorry, just can't resist:

A fart it is a pleasant thing,

It gives the belly ease,

It warms the bed in winter,

And suffocates the fleas.

A fart can be quiet,

A fart can be loud,

Some leave a powerful,

Poisonous cloud

A fart can be short,

Or a fart can be long,

Some farts have been known

To sound like a song......

A fart can create

A most curious medley,

A fart can be harmless,

Or silent , and deadly.

A fart might not smell,

While others are vile,

A fart may pass quickly,

Or linger a while......

A fart can occur

In a number of places,

And leave everyone there,

With strange looks on their faces.

From wide-open prairie,

To small elevators,

A fart will find all of

Us sooner or later.

But farts are all bad,

Is simply not true-

We must never forget.......

Good old farts like you!

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"Boost, one bottle tid chilled but not over ice, shaken not stirred" PS Chocolate only

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Specializes in neuro,renal,tele.

We have a new hospitalist who has a smart mouth, she constantly writes, "albuterol and atrovent PO q4hrs". Open wide, I have some albuterol and atrovent for your cough!

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Specializes in neuro,renal,tele.

:rollLOL, imma sing this to my husband!!

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Specializes in Ortho, Case Management, blabla.

I finally have something to add to this thread. This is one of my favorite threads by the way.

Last week I had a patient that wasn't doing so hot. His urinary output was 100ccs the first day, then 50ccs the next day..bun/creatinine slowly rising...got himself an ARF diagnosis. A resident came through, didn't even bother going in to assess the pt, and wrote something along the lines of, "Bladder training, clamp foley 2 hours then unclamp 2 hours"

I dutifully carried the order out (I was in the patient's room every hour or so anyways...so why not). Total output on my shift? 30ccs...I'm sure the 3 or 4ccs that came out each time I unclamped the foley worked wonders for his bladder training. The next day the attending wrote, "Leave foley in." Sometimes I wonder if some of the residents even bother reading through the progress notes/labs/VS/I+O/etc.

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Specializes in Med surg, Critical Care, LTC.

Novolin 70/30 NPH insulin 40 units q a.m.

Two totally different insulins. This order got by the charge nurse, the pharmacist and 3 days of nurses before I found it. I called the primary physician and explained the problem with the order, so he said "Well, which insulin has she been getting?" I said "I couldn't tell you sir, I just started as her nurse this a.m."

I had to write this up, hated to do it, but it got by two many people. The failsafe's in the system totally failed in this instance.

________________________

Another order I received was Morphine, 20 mg Iv q 15 minutes prn. I called the physician and said "This can't be right" he said "It's what I ordered" I said, sir, the patient is a 1 y/o with pneumonia, do you really think this order is appropriate? He hemmend and hawed, and realized that he was thinking about another patient - and d/c the order on the child. I suggested that without knowing the other patient, the 20 mg Morphine might be appropriate, but he really should put a max dosage in for safety's sake, also dropped a PCA hint as well. Don't know if he ever did.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Oncology.

Lobster for dinner tonight....

Lobster?? This aint Red Lobster!!! Laughed about that for a few weeks!! :chuckle

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Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.

UA C&S on a anuric dialysis patient. (The doc knew he was a Hemodialysys pt)

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Specializes in cardiac rehab, medical/tele, psychiatric.

while working in a rehab an MD wrote an order for gin and raisins b/c the pt said it helped w/arthritis. Needless to say, we didn't follow through.

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Specializes in Tele,CCU,ER.

"NPO by mouth"...i was laughing...hehe:)

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Specializes in ccu cardiovascular.

I saw an order today that said "air flow checks" The doctor meant to write chux(pads) she wanted the disposabel paper pads versus our cotton pads. The charge nurse called respiratory thinking it was air saturation checks.

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We had one that had as all scratching our heads

Lady who was in her 70's had a DNR but only in the event of complete heart block-how are we supposed to know that

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