What should be done about this? Unbelievable backstabbing...

[DeLana_RN]

I'm still shocked about something that happened two days ago. A good friend of mine works in a department where we sometimes dialyze pts. Well, we have basically a good unit except for one bully/troublemaker/ backstabber who happens to be the charge nurse. Almost everyone hates her because she has ratted on them, etc etc (picture your typical bully scenario). Of course, like all such types, she smiles to your face and you walk away with knives in your back. Sadly, my colleagues who have put up with this for years (I'm fairly new) have not insisted that something be done about this - i.e., nobody wants to be the one to have her disciplined.

Two days ago she had to dialyze a pt of a good friend of mine who works in another department. When my friend mentioned my name, the bully started to slander me, although my friend told her that we are friends. Among other things, she told her I was incompetent, stupid, and may be on drugs because I "just don't get it" when she tries to tell me something. :angryfire Then, she proceeded to ask my friend about my personal life and insinuated that I'm a bad mother :angryfire Never mind I never talk to her about anything personal! And on and on. She even asked my friend why she would want to be friends with me! :angryfire My friend was just flabbergasted and listened to this for a while, unbelieving... and then cut her off.

As you can imagine, I was devastated when I heard this the next day. Assuming that Ms Bully wants a confrontation, I did not let on that I know about this. Instead, my friend called my manager and told her how unprofessional Bully was; she was told that HR would be involved. I have not talked to my manager about this and don't plan to (the last thing I want is having to sit down with the ***** and "talk about this"!)

What should be done to her?! Have any of you ever encountered such a situation? Of course I know that Bully doesn't like me (she hardly likes anybody), but had no idea she hated me so much. I'm never disrespectful or show her what I think about her, I just have no idea what this is all about. But this has gone way too far!!!

Your thoughts?

Thanks,

DeLana

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN]

Delana - I agree this is awful and very unprofessional. She should be fired. I too would agree though, no confrontation from you. It sounds like your friend is a true friend and by reporting this, kept you out of the loop.

[Jolie, BSN]

I firmly believe that you need to distance yourself from this issue. By that I don't mean not to pursue it, but to pursue it in a way that keeps you away from the "offender".

The comments were not made in your presence, so you have no direct knowledge of them. The patient has already contacted your manager, and I think it would be helpful to ask her to make a written statement to HR as well. Then there is a clear record of the nurse's behavior documented by an outside party that HR would be ill-advised to ignore.

If you are involved in a face-to-face meeting with this woman, witnessed or not, it will deteriorate into a she said-she said, and nothing will be accomplished.

It would not be over the top for the patient to make a complaint of unprofessional behavior to the State Board of Nursing.

Good luck.

[namaste_71]

My heart goes out to you. Try not to take it personally. Some people only feel better by making others feel miserable. You can either sit down with this person with her supervisor.

If that's not possible you can encourage your friend to contact the charge nurse's supervisor, and go higher up the chain if she has to. Somehow I think if a complaint comes from a patient -- especially in this era of "customer service" and "patient-centered care" -- might just get the attention of higher-ups.

Good luck.

[Reigen]

I would speak to the HR Department, I would have to say this:

While it is true that I might have workplace encounters that lead to personality conflicts- I still have the right to be treated with dignity, respect and professionalism when an instance of conflict occurs, and

have a right to a working environment that is free from

discrimination, harassment and bullying.

I am not sure what state you are in, I have done a travel assignment in California and had to "look up" what the law is there. Perhaps your state has a similar one?

California has legislation that requires businesses to have a workplace injury prevention plan and a specific law to combat violence in hospitals---Title 8, CCR, 3203; Penal Code 171b; Title 29, 654(a)(1).

[Miami NightNurse]

I would lay low and give your manager a chance to speak to HR about the problem. Your friend could also call and make a complaint to HR herself. Legal might also frown down upon nurses being called stupid, etc. to patients. I would not speak to this woman alone. I would call a rep from HR to be in on the coversation if your manager insisted you meet with her. It's always smart to get an independent third party involved.

I agree with Batman. Then again as they say in the south you could always take her out behind the chicken coop and teach her a few things. The woman has no right to tell a patient you are incompetent!!! She needs to be fired!!!!!.

[KLKRN, RN]

I completely agree with Widlmountainchild.

This woman has serious psych issues and should not even be in a position of authority over anyone - I wouldn't trust her to own a dog!

[FireStarterRN, BSN, RN]

I agree, this goes beyond backbiting and is slander! By the way, in my state it is illegal to record someone without their consent, be sure to check your local laws on that.

It sounds like you have eyewitness back up here that is willing to confront this, in the person of your friend. Count that as a strong plus in your favor and don't be afraid to run with it! This woman sounds absolutely out of control and toxic to the max! Good luck!

[DeLana_RN, BSN, RN]

Thanks to all for the suggestions and comments.

Just to summarize the facts, "Bully" is the usual charge nurse in my acute dialysis unit; she has been harrassing coworkers for years, but nobody has wanted to "get involved" (i.e., have her written up for it. They were afraid she would only abuse them more). As for management, our previous mgr was responsible for several departments and therefore not aware of what was going on; our new one hasn't been on the job long.

Bully slandered me to the nurse whose pt she was supposed to dialyze; this nurse is a friend of mine (and told Bully that). She did this at the nurses' station of my friend's unit. My friend called my mgr about this, who contacted my friend's mgr; my friend was asked to put the incident in writing to be forwarded to HR. So for the first time, something will be done about this, and I'm out of the loop (my mgr does not yet know that I'm aware of the situation). Bully can therefore not blame me for anything that she brought on herself!

I work PRN so I won't see either of them until next week, which is good.

Thanks again, I'll keep you posted.

DeLana

[caliotter3]

Whenever I have encountered behavior of this type it has been by a person who is in with the chain of command. I learned early on that picking battles with these people only leads to trouble for me. This person is the charge nurse and the others have never done anything about her behavior because they fear the repercussions. Just let your friend's complaint play out, keep good records of all future encounters, and try to avoid her as much as possible. She does show signs of mental illness and would not be the first mentally ill nurse who is being protected by her supervisors. One of these days, your careful documentation may come in handy, so be diligent about this and keep track of the witnesses to each event. Sorry this is happening to you.

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

Give her enough rope and she will hang herself. Just be very careful around here so there is nothing she can legitimately fabricate about you.

As they say on Survivor - be smart and outlast.

Do NOT take it personally. She is just one of those people that tears every one else down to make herself look better.

[sharona97, BSN, RN]

Some would advise you to talk to her but I would avoid her in any form at all cost. You have been slandered here. The remark about drugs was beyond the pale. If you engage her she will try to manipulate the situation to push the guilt onto you. Deal with her only through managment. You could possibly engage a lawyer and sue her if she keeps slandering you. Sounds like a borderline personality to me. This time she has gone to far.

I agree and would personally document and write a letter to her immediate supervisor along with a witnessed letter from your friend. It's unacceptable at every level.

Wishing you the best.

Sharona

[proud2b1]

Delane RN

Ask her to help you do something and take her steph from around her neck and squeez,this should take care of it!!!

Seriously though,please stay away from her,she will get you caught up in something,and you will get faulted as well.People like her have motives for everything they do!