Ya know, I hear ya. But thru this crazy process and in my research and in talking with many others, addicts and family members of addicts, I do know this. Chronic pain, which I have myself (which is another story lol) is so individual . Each person has their own tolerance to pain and nerve receptors that it isn't easy to treat or suffer through. Your decision is highly respected by me.
All I do know is at the begining of this process, I knew squat about addiction, sx's treatment, codependency issues for an addict ( I specify addict for drugs as I grew up with an alcholoc mom and then married one and I got help, but the codependancy issues involving a heroin addict was so different for me), so that is why I posed this question to begin with.
Now after seeing D high,suicidal, hospitalized 6 times in one year through CD-Psych lockdowns and then finally going to the courts to have him committed, I've learned SOME! Not alot alot, but enough to know what was right for D and to believe in his FEAR of relpase and his desire to have a functional sober life. I've seen him on a maintenance dose of 120mg per day for about 4 months. Wanted to return to work, decreased himself at 5mg per day till off and go off to work, going through Methadone reduction withdrawals. Ok, he got his first paycheck and relapsed.
SO I socked it to him again and currently he has 4 months sober time from heroin. He returned to the methadone clinic and is maintaining at 90mg per day, still sweating, still having anxiety issues, still having using dreams and cravings. But he is attending meetings, has a great support staff of counselor's and addictionologists and see's a psychologist weekly to get to some underlying anxiety issues. He is not as sedated as he was at the 120mg dose. Yea to be honest he really wanted to feel comfortable without any work outside the methadone clinic work towards his recovery. This is D, not anybody else shoulda, whatever.
So for D I see and hear him and understand his true motive. Currently he is back into the production engineering field. This is what he went to school for. He has been blessed in being in the right place at the right time and got an edge for an opening with a national production angency. His very first trip out to the club where this company managed the event he was terrified.
He was so afraid of the socializing, being in "THEE ENVIRONMENT", and we really had to talk through some heavy stuff with this VIP pass in his hands. He was home at 2:15am from MPLS, which tells me he left before the event stopped. He was sober and mission completed he was able to talk with who he needed to talk to.
So today D was telling me my Dr. asked me: Will you ever need to take speed? "No", will you ever need to take cocaine?,"No". Will you ever need to take heroin? "No". Will you ever have the need to take an opiate? "Well maybe what if I have an operation or a car accident"? The opiate abusers I've learned have a heavier advantage IMO, I haven't researched this, Jack may know, to relapse. But if an opiate is needed for D it will be in a controlled setting.
I'm on a run here, so let me shut -up and just say that for D for right now Maethadone is helping him function better along with other help. He poses the question to himself openly, will I be on this the rest of my life?, or will I someday be able to s l o w l y stop the methadone. He's open about it.
I really use all of the feedback on this site to keep things in perspective for me. I recently posted I need to take care of me now and that is what I am doing.......But that too is another story!:lol2:
Thanks so much,