What a blow to my ego

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I am currently doing my clinical practicum on a very busy ICU unit. I feel like I'm doing very well given that there is SO MUCH to know and SO LITTLE room for error. My preceptor has given me lots of positive feedback about things I do well and I ask every what I need to improve on (as well as working with other nurses), and I find that this has helped me learn a great deal.

HOWEVER.

Every night I give report to the oncoming nurse. My preceptor has named my report-giving skills and communication with the team as one of my strengths. However, this one particular nurse is just plain ******* to me when I'm trying to give her information. She walks up to me and says "I hate getting report from student nurses," then proceeds to interrupt me and correct me in a very rude fashion the whole time I'm giving report. Obviously, being ridiculed like this makes me flustered and less articulate, which probably confirms her beliefs that I am an idiot.

I have given report to this woman numerous times. Last time, I asked her if I needed to organize my report differently to suit her system (as she would now be taking the patient for 12 hours). She looked at me from like I was from outer space, sighed heavily, and told me "just ******* get on with it."

I don't know what to do. As a student, I don't feel like I have the weight to throw around to ask her to stop treating me so poorly. At the same time, my preceptor, who does have the weight, won't intervene and tells me "that's just how she is."

How do you deal with this sort of TERRIBLE workplace behavior?

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I don't have any advice for you.. but that is a shame she has to act like that. She must forget that she was once a student too.

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Specializes in geriatrics.

Now me personally i work with women all the time that are nasty and very arrogant. i do not ever hesitate to tell them that they are being rude or what not mainly because i learned a long time ago if you have an opinion on anything say it or don't complain later. if your preceptor won't do her part and intervene then you have three choices: 1. don't say anything and take it with a grain of salt, because there is just going to be rude people in the world. 2. let that person know that what they are doing is not necessary, as nicely as you can. 3. just don't talk to her if she thinks she is mr. bigshot let her figure whats going on by herself. but that is just my opinion. good luck with it anyway you go.

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Specializes in ICU/ER/L&D.

Just keep speaking over her when she interrupts. She can hold her questions until you are finished. She is being extremely rude.

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Specializes in CNA.

There is a scene from a movie called "Heartbreak Ridge." Clint Eastwood plays an old school platoon seargant under the command of an abusive Major. Just a real jerk. One day during training, one of Eastwood's Marines screwed up in front of the Major.

As punishment, the Major forced the screwup to run in circles around the platoon with his rifle raised above his head all the way back to the barracks. The other men in the platoon said, "He is never going to make it."

The Marine finally collapsed. Eastwood bent down and whispered something in his ear. The exhausted Marine screamed, "RECON!!" then got up and continued running.

The Major confronted Eastwood, "What did you say to him?"

Eastwood looked him in the eye, "I said 'Don't give the bastard the satisfaction'. Sir."

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It has nothing to do with if you're a student or not (regarding you not feeling you have enough weight to throw around)....YOU are a human being and NO person deserves to be talked to like that. I certainly wouldn't put up with it and would definitely say something to my instructor. I know as a nurse (and many other professions) you have to grow a thicker skin but to talk to someone like that, especially a student who's just learning, is totally uncalled for and doesn't help anyone!

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Specializes in ED.

My response: "Do you feel better now? You seem to be having a bad day. Can I continue with my report now?" "K, thanks."

Yeah, a little passive aggressive maybe but I just cannot stand people acting rudely to others especially when they think they are superior. I have a nurse that I work with (I'm a tech) and she thinks she can talk to me this way too sometimes. I have just learned to put her on ignore and go about my day.

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Man, what a peach! It sounds like she's very burned out and possibly just plain nutty. About a year ago at my old job, I was burned out beyond belief related to staffing and supply issues. Regrettably, I know that it showed in my work. Even at the height of my frustration, however, it didn't take much effort to be nice to coworkers and students. There's just no excuse for the kind of behavior you're seeing.

Think about this though. This woman didn't just wake up one day and transform from a nice, polite, professional nurse into a nasty old hag that insults and curses at students. This is long-standing behavior. You aren't going to be able to fix this crazy woman. There is nothing that you can say that will make her perk up, realize the error of her ways and become a born-again ray of sunshine during shift report.

The best you can hope to do is work on making things more tolerable during your brief tenure on this unit. I'm surprised that your preceptor can't come up with anything to help you do that, but I'm impressed that you asked for the oncoming nurse's feedback as to how you could improve.

It sounds like people realize that she's not a nice person. For some reason, they keep her on board. Maybe they value her experience or skills. Maybe she has nakie photos of an admin. Who really knows? While it's sad that we tolerate this stuff, if I were a nursing student, I wouldn't get into a confrontation with her over it. I hope it at least helps to come here and vent about it.

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Thanks guys! EricJRN, I think what you said is probably the thing that has put me the most at ease. You are right. Probably nothing I would say to this lady would make her any easier to work with...and yeah, it does help me to vent a little. I've just been getting so frustrated and feeling like other nurses don't understand....maybe the key is to try to humor her a little.

Gotta do what I gotta do.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Academics.
I have given report to this woman numerous times. Last time, I asked her if I needed to organize my report differently to suit her system (as she would now be taking the patient for 12 hours). She looked at me from like I was from outer space, sighed heavily, and told me "just ******* get on with it."

I don't know what to do. As a student, I don't feel like I have the weight to throw around to ask her to stop treating me so poorly. At the same time, my preceptor, who does have the weight, won't intervene and tells me "that's just how she is."

The nurse you give report to is passive-aggressive, and your preceptor, who has worked with her and is probably much more confident than you (of course, this is not a slam on you), approaches it the only way she can to maintain her own sanity: with a shrug and going about her business. At least you know it's not only you, right?

The passive-aggressive nurse backed down when you asked her how to improve because she's petty...and she knows it subconsciously. Yet, because she has "authority," she'll continue to nitpick you.

That's the most difficult thing when working with others who criticize in a sarcastic way constantly. The human reaction to get down on yourself is strong for some students. Other students have a strong reaction to ignore them about everything. Which way you handle it often depends on the student's own personality.

With both types of student personalities, I can just say don't ignore all her criticisms of your work...if she ever decides to articulate them. However, you'll have to work doubly hard on self-reflection to determine if she's nit-picking or there really is something to improve upon. You can learn from even the grouchiest, bitchiest nurses, but it takes a lot of self-work to determine what is worth learning from and what should be taken with a grain of salt.

With your style of report, I can confidently say her criticisms are something you can ignore, though. Good luck. :)

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It is probably true that this is just how that person is. Imagine what it would be like working there and be glad that you won't have to deal with her much longer. Apparently your preceptor knows that the person is a lost cause and she doesn't want to waste any energy on the situation. Just do what you have to do and move on.

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Specializes in Professional Development Specialist.

People like this thrive on the reaction they get. They enjoy making you feel small, they get an ego boost. Not getting rattled is the best way to shut them down. I give them a stare that I hope says "you aren't going to get the reaction you want." :lol2: Something like the stare I give my kids when they about to do something they know isn't a good idea "Really? Is that the choice you're going to make?" Then I remain professional and go ahead with what I was going to say. Being well prepared when you know you have to hand off to this nurse will help. Ask your preceptor if she'll let you do a dry run on her and ask if there is anything you need to add or leave off. You will continue to run into these types unfortunately. Put on your steel panties and don't let her get to you! She is not contributing anything worthwhile to your education.

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