Watch Your Language - Breast Isn't Best!

fergus51 · Jul 22, 2005

I only mentioned junk food because someone else said "well, what about those people who feed their child fast food when they get older"
Yes, bottom line is feed the baby, but most moms, myself included are not given info about alternative feeding methods to help get a difficult baby on the breast and we don't give moms enough support post-partum. It's much easier for people to say "You tried, just go ahead and switch, there's no real difference."
Well, there is a difference and we do no one favors when we pretend there isn't.

That may be true in your experience, but it hasn't been my experience anywhere I have worked. Our hospitals provide lactation consultants, we have "mother's milk" support meetings once a week, nurses encourage moms to pump, we use lactation aides, etc. We will bend over backwards to help a mom breastfeed if she wants to and if she can. But, I will NEVER subject a mom to a lecture in order to guilt trip her. Most moms in the NICU have enough feelings of stress and even guilt without nurses adding to it. There is a difference, but it isn't enough to make me judge a mother who needs support.

smk1, LPN · Jul 22, 2005

I wanted to address a couple of points.
1. Milk/Formula is the only food a child receives for many months, so it is that much more important that it is as healthy as possible. Having McDonald's once a month isn't bad for you, but eating nothing but burgers and fries for a month is bad for you.
SO again, what about the parents who give their kids mcdonalds practically everyday either for breakfast, lunch or dinner or for more than one meal out of the day? Or just as bad, giving them soda pop or koolaid whenever the kid says they are thristy?
2. References made to admits for ineffective BF - What about the number of NICU babies getting NEC? NEC is almost exclusively found in formula fed infants, and it is just as, if not more life-threatening, because to fix it, you can't pump and finger feed, or use a supplemental nursing system, surgery is involved too often.

I think some people were referring to the fact that some babies don't get the nutrients they need from breast feeding, either from inadequate milk supply, or feeding issues. Bottom line for me is that it is a personal decision, and noone should be laying a guilt trip on a parent who decides to bottle feed.

lpnstudentin2010, LPN · Jul 22, 2005

They don't know to suggest a plethora of strategies to help mom through the tough times, up to and INCLUDING ordering from a milk bank and referring on to good IBCLC's.

I had never heard of a milk bank

smk1, LPN · Jul 22, 2005

i guess i should add that i am actually for breast feeding. I breast fed my daughter until she was 1 yr. It was cheap, convenient and good for her, so I wa sold, however, i never had: latching on problems, engorgement (not even the first week), she never bit me, mastitis, thrush on my nipples, any other children that would hinder me from sitting for 35 minutes every 2 hours, i didn't work, i didn't have a cesearean section, and i didn't have PPD. I more than adequate milk supply, did not have to use a pump. Without any of those issues, it was still hard. I was tired, i couldn't leave the house or she would scream her little patootie off (according to hubby), i was all on sensory overload a lOT so i didn't want ANYONE touching me a lot of the time. I had to plan any outings to make sure that we would b home to nurse or so that there was a place for me to sit for over half an hour for her to nurse. I am all for breastfeeding, but there are quite a few women and their families, who would be a lot more stressed out with BF. Give all the facts and support information, however this really is a personal choice, and these women aren't the devil incarnate because they have chosen not to breastfeed.

austin heart, BSN, RN · Jul 22, 2005

This something that I feel VERY strong about. I formula feed and WILL NOT be made to feel as if I am less of a mother for it. I breast fed for the first month and it just did not work for my son and I. I was not offered the services of a lactation consultant in the hospital when my baby was born. I did however spend HOURS on the phone with a lactation consultant and spent several hundred dollars out of pocket on private consultations with a lactation consultant. No one can tell me I did not give it a fare shake. I made the decision to change to formula because it was effecting my health and I thought that it was the best decision for my son and I. He is now a happy, HEALTHY 5 month old. And I too feel that some are "Breastfeeding Nazis". Heck we can't even have a civil discussion on a web board with out personally attacking each other about the subject.

I was formula fed as was my husband and we are both of above average intelligence. So I don't see how it hurt either one of us there. We too are both healthy individuals as adults and neither had any significant illnesses as children.

I also found it interesting in the earlier post the article discussing infant mortality rates, the countries with higher death rates in formula fed babies where also countries that are undeveloped, ie Mexico. I don't see how we can give studies such as these much credit.

Another post said quote "Isn't our job as mothers to do the best we can for our children?". I feel that my choice to formula feed IS the best that I can do for my child! I DO NOT feel guilt at all about my decision. Kudos to the ladies that are able to breast feed but KUDOS to those of us who can not and make the choice to do what we think is best for our child!

Chicklet2 · Jul 22, 2005

Trying to make parents feel guilty for formula feeding is disgusting IMO. First of all, it isn't our place to berrate them for making a decision that will produce a healthy living child (I don't know any kids who have died from formula). I have seen several babies admitted to the NICU because of breastfeeding difficulties and not once have I tried to make the parents feel guilty for their desire to breastfeed. Secondly, guilt trips don't work. The LCs who guilt trip get moms who humour them by breastfeeding for the time they are around and then quit the second they're gone. I've seen that many times in the hospital. Thirdly, it makes all breastfeeding advocates look like nutcases. How many times have we all heard "breastfeeding nazis"? This isn't the image that we need to portray.
Breastfeeding is a choice and parents have every right to make it for themselves. What works for one woman might not work for another and as long as her child is not being neglected or abused no one else's opinions matter.

I totally agree with you on that one. I know so many people that were never breastfed and are totally normal. I for one was never breastfed and have been to the doc like 5 times max in my life and i'm now 19. I know many mothers that dont feel guilty b/c they aren't breastfeeding. I for one do not think I could sit in public and breastfeed, i would feel so uncomfortable and it would not be fair to my baby. My aunt was determined my little cousin was gonna be breast fed b/c her other two kids were. Well he almost died b/c the milk he was getting, didn't have the proper nutrients and the nurses kept saying well just try a few more days b/c breast is best..

RNnL&D · Jul 22, 2005

My aunt was determined my little cousin was gonna be breast fed b/c her other two kids were. Well he almost died b/c the milk he was getting, didn't have the proper nutrients and the nurses kept saying well just try a few more days b/c breast is best..

Interesting. Never heard of breastmilk not having the proper nutrients.

DancingRN · Jul 22, 2005

i guess i should add that i am actually for breast feeding. I breast fed my daughter until she was 1 yr. It was cheap, convenient and good for her, so I wa sold, however, i never had: latching on problems, engorgement (not even the first week), she never bit me, mastitis, thrush on my nipples, any other children that would hinder me from sitting for 35 minutes every 2 hours, i didn't work, i didn't have a cesearean section, and i didn't have PPD. I more than adequate milk supply, did not have to use a pump. Without any of those issues, it was still hard. I was tired, i couldn't leave the house or she would scream her little patootie off (according to hubby), i was all on sensory overload a lOT so i didn't want ANYONE touching me a lot of the time. I had to plan any outings to make sure that we would b home to nurse or so that there was a place for me to sit for over half an hour for her to nurse. I am all for breastfeeding, but there are quite a few women and their families, who would be a lot more stressed out with BF. Give all the facts and support information, however this really is a personal choice, and these women aren't the devil incarnate because they have chosen not to breastfeed.

After skimming all the responses to the original article I finally found one I could really relate to. Nursing (breastfeeding) is a life style adjustment and you have to be willing to do it to make it work. That is a part of the decision a woman/couple have to make and I think intuitively she/they are aware of this but it may not be on a conscious level. I know for me it wasn't. Not only is having a baby a huge shift but then to have another being totally dependent on you for sustenance and attached to your exhausted body much of the time is a lot.

I nursed my first for 18 months and the second for 4 1/2 years. I had no problems with the breastfeeding in itself but....I wanted to continue to work. I was able to arrange my schedule so I worked only 4 hr. shifts with the first. After the second one was born the hubby said he wasn't going to put up with a freaking out infant again (who refused a bottle of anything). So I became a stay at home mom- not unwillingly. It's been twelve years and I'm finally returning to nursing.

But I had a huge amount of support. My mother had breastfed all four children for at least 6 wks and my sister had breastfed twins; my neighbor was active in La Leche League and I was an OB nurse over 30 and ready and able to indulge in the experience.

I liked the original article and agree with it and think every woman ought to have the opportunity to make an educated decision about breastfeeding. It would be nice if everyone could do it trouble-free but that's not reality. The experience can be so wonderful and it saddens me to have witnessed and to hear about such difficult situations.

allnurses Guide · Jul 22, 2005

Interesting. Never heard of breastmilk not having the proper nutrients.

This is where education comes in because people believe "old wive's tales" like breastmilk doesn't have the proper nutrients. Or the baby isn't getting any milk on the first day so we have to give them a bottle (I see this alot in the Hispanic community - however they usually do go home and breastfeed successfully). Or how do I know the baby is getting enough milk since I can't see into my breast to see the milk and how much he drinks? Or I didn't have enough milk.

Our mother's generation just didn't breastfeed and were told that this new-fangled formula was the greatest invention on God's green earth. Now we are seeing the ramifications of that in women who weren't around breastfeeding moms -it isn't the norm so it is weird.

Please remember that I'm not one of the people who thinks you need to make a woman feel guilty about not breastfeeding. But the fallacies about breastfeeding make me crazy sometimes. :)

I think the IQ point study was just a few IQ points higher - not really enough to make your child a nobel laureate in and of itself. The other side of that is what kind of stimulation and education did the child have? Did the parents read to him? It is completely mindboggling to me how many parents do not read to their kids.

SMK - great post . ... I had a bit of trouble with my first child breastfeeding, I did get mastitis but that is because I went to Palm Springs with my husband for a night of our own and didn't pump because I didn't know any better and got engorged - boy did it feel good to latch that kid back on when we got home. :) I did get sore nipples but that is because I had no education back then, 22 years ago there were not many lactation consultants and I wasn't encouraged to b/f.

There is a delicate balance here between giving our moms good and accurate information and making them feel inadequate. Hormones are pouring out of every nook and cranny of a new mom and emotions run high and I'd never do anything to make it harder.

Again, this is just one of those things where it is up to the mom to decide and I don't think equating formula to child neglect gets us anywhere.

steph

opalmRN · Jul 22, 2005

Or how do I know the baby is getting enough milk since I can't see into my breast to see the milk and how much he drinks?

THIS is my all time favorite and I just have to respond with, "you couldn't see into your body so how did you know your baby was getting what he/she needed to grow then?"

allnurses Guide · Jul 22, 2005

THIS is my all time favorite and I just have to respond with, "you couldn't see into your body so how did you know your baby was getting what he/she needed to grow then?"

:rotfl:

I guess I just figured that when my baby nursed and was satisfied (full) that meant everything was ok.

steph

austin heart, BSN, RN · Jul 22, 2005

:rotfl:
I guess I just figured that when my baby nursed and was satisfied (full) that meant everything was ok.
steph

I was taught by a VERY anal breastfeeding advocate that you can weight the baby before a breastfeeding and then again after and the difference in weight was the amount of breastmilk recieved......Never tried it though, I just figured when he was full he would stop sucking, LOL.