Watch Your Language - Breast Isn't Best!

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Jul 20, 2005

Interesting points.

When do the advantages of breastfeeding get outweighed by the difficulty some mothers have? A small percentage spend weeks in tears, sleepless, with a fussy baby and stressed because they feel an obligation to breastfeed. Bonding is interrupted, baby is hungry sometimes losing weight. When should they give the baby a bottle?

FrumDoula · Jul 20, 2005

Interesting points.
When do the advantages of breastfeeding get outweighed by the difficulty some mothers have? A small percentage spend weeks in tears, sleepless, with a fussy baby and stressed because they feel an obligation to breastfeed. Bonding is interrupted, baby is hungry sometimes losing weight. When should they give the baby a bottle?

First, the majority of mothers, breastfeeding or not, spend a lot of sleepless time the first few weeks. That's pretty normal.

Now, your language is interesting! "When do the advantages of breastfeeding ...." What if the language was phrased, "How long should mothers work at breastfeeding/nursing before subjecting their babies to the clear disadvantages/health risks of formula feeding?" Feeling an obligation to provide a child with breastmilk is not an altogether negative thing, either, just like we feel an obligation to get them good medical care, vaccines, car seats, etc.

And a mother should not be going at this alone for "weeks". She should have access to lactation consultants and knowledgeable folk who will fully support her decision to nurse. Sadly, too many pediatricians, who are at the front line of breastfeeding management, know very little about the subject and know little else other than to recommend the bottle. They don't know to suggest a plethora of strategies to help mom through the tough times, up to and INCLUDING ordering from a milk bank and referring on to good IBCLC's.

fergus51 · Jul 20, 2005

I think it's sad so many women are pressured into one way of feeding and made to feel inadequate if they can't breastfeed. It's to the point where we had a mother of triplets who had a breast reduction wanting to solely breastfeed her babies in tears because she was told that may not be a possibility......

I'm pro breastfeeding, but in the end the most important thing is that the baby eats and does well. If that's with formula then so be it.

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Jul 20, 2005

I think breastfeeding is much preferable over any other feeding method. I also think that for some moms 1-1 support, LaLeche meetings, etc don't do the trick and they spend the first few months kicking themselves for not doing a good job, and frustrated with themselves and their baby.

Having their first months be enjoyable and successful is more important to me than following the rules for having the best experience.

Put it like this...we all know that second hand smoke is bad for a baby. I would encourage strongly any mom that wanted to quit. I would let them know the risks, but would still let tham make any decision themselves. And, if they reported that they were in tears with stress, couldn't handle their baby without it crying, baby losing weight, mom dreading having to interact with baby because they were so tense without a cigarette I would say "so HAVE that cigarette...then go back and love your baby...but do it knowing everything you can about the risks."

Sometimes people need to have their smoke and get on with their lives.

BTW I hate cigarette smoke, bleah!

amber1142 · Jul 20, 2005

And because I love to stir up the winds of controversy, I'll share this article with everyone and see what they think.
http://www.bobrow.net/kimberly/birth/BFLanguage.html
What do you all think of this article?
Alison

What a sophisticated argument. I agree that she is right that our use of language skews what is normal and better than normal while eliminating the category of subnormal. A lot of bottle feeding moms are going to be angry though. Parenting is hard enough, and there are a million ways to be made to feel bad about it. There has got to be a way to encourage more moms to breast feed without making the ones who don't (for a lot of different reasons) feel bad.

FrumDoula · Jul 20, 2005

What a sophisticated argument. I agree that she is right that our use of language skews what is normal and better than normal while eliminating the category of subnormal. A lot of bottle feeding moms are going to be angry though. Parenting is hard enough, and there are a million ways to be made to feel bad about it. There has got to be a way to encourage more moms to breast feed without making the ones who don't (for a lot of different reasons) feel bad.

Now, tons of bottlefeeding kids turn out just fine, and many don't have increased doctor visits. And I'm sure there are nursed kids who are sick all the time. But we're talking trends and statistical data here, not conjecture and anecdotal evidence. (Just like we all know someone who chain-smoked their way to 100 years of ripe ol' age.)

However - if a woman CHOOSES not to breastfeed for reasons of convenience, as opposed to reasons of health or whatever, why shouldn't she feel a bit bad? She's exposing her child to a higher risk of many diseases, increased number of doctor visits and a lowered IQ. She is making a very serious health decision - it's not like it's 6 of one and a half dozen of the other. It affects her baby far beyond infancy.

Most pediatricians have no compunction about making parents feel guilty or bad about smoking in front of their kids (another decision that has deleterious side effects), not using a car seat or not vaccinating. Heck, some will make you feel bad for co-sleeping, which research seems to say is a very POSITIVE parenting decision. So why the hesitance to educate about the risks of bottle feeding and to stop couching the language? Is it because breasts are so overly sexualized in our culture?

I do find this whole thing so interesting and am glad to see a variety of views presented here. I'm going to try and find Dr. Jack Newman's article on breastfeeding and parental guilt. I'll post it here when I find it.

Thanks to everyone for their responses. It's helping me to pass the time, since the baby currently residing in my belly has decided that it would like to be overdue. *sigh* Nothing like having to walk the walk on being patient when waiting for your kid to be born. :rotfl:

Alison

amber1142 · Jul 20, 2005

However - if a woman CHOOSES not to breastfeed for reasons of convenience, as opposed to reasons of health or whatever, why shouldn't she feel a bit bad?

The thing is, I suspect many bottle feeding mothers already do feel bad (that's why they're often hostile and defensive in breast-is-best discussions). But feeling bad makes for depressed and guilt-ridden mothers, not better mothers. Negative incentives don't always work. This may be related to the personality thing I mentioned in the other thread, but I'm simply uncomfortable with one-wayisms. I wouldn't want someone telling me that giving my kids Pop Tarts is bad; I would be so angry at the intrusion that I wouldn't hear the message.

I suppose with a complete paradigm shift there may come a time where not breast feeding is viewed the same way as not putting baby in a car seat or blowing cigarette smoke in a baby's face; on the other hand, even the statistical differences between breast and bottle fed babies don't carry outrageous risks like lack of a car seat does.

I think in order to bring about the paradigm shift we need to make formula companies highly uncomfortable- we ought to put the thumb screws on them- higher taxes, restricted advertising, make formula companies pay for breast feeding education, etc- rather than on the women themselves.

Thanks to everyone for their responses. It's helping me to pass the time, since the baby currently residing in my belly has decided that it would like to be overdue. *sigh* Nothing like having to walk the walk on being patient when waiting for your kid to be born. :rotfl:
Alison

Good luck to you, Alison. I'll be thinking about you

:)

FrumDoula · Jul 20, 2005

I think in order to bring about the paradigm shift we need to make formula companies highly uncomfortable- we ought to put the thumb screws on them- higher taxes, restricted advertising, make formula companies pay for breast feeding education, etc- rather than on the women themselves.

THANK YOU for saying this. First off, I think hospitals need to stop handing out formula in the gift packages they give out to new moms. It is well-documented in the research data that this undermines breastfeeding efforts. This violates medical ethics in my opinion. I remember when I left the hospital with my son, the nurse tried to push it on me. Her final argument, "What if there's an emergency??!?!" cracked me up. Um, if there's no electricity or running water, I will surely rely on my breasts to work far more than a panicked trip to the grocery store for water bottles!!!! In the end, I was really appalled how much she was trying to push the can of formula, especially since she was a baby nurse in a supposedly pro-breastfeeding hospital. I complained to her supervisor.

Advertising needs to be SEVERELY restricted as well, and in some countries, I understand that formula is available by prescription only.

I would accept formula money for breastfeeding education only if they would be disallowed from making decisions on content. Their own breastfeeding pamphlets are so skewed that history has shown they cannot be trusted. I mean, c'mon, do we completely trust Phillip Morris' anti-smoking campaign? But in theory, I'm with ya on the idea. Heck, we could use the money to ensure a greater number of IBCLC's get educated.

Alison

fergus51 · Jul 20, 2005

Trying to make parents feel guilty for formula feeding is disgusting IMO. First of all, it isn't our place to berrate them for making a decision that will produce a healthy living child (I don't know any kids who have died from formula). I have seen several babies admitted to the NICU because of breastfeeding difficulties and not once have I tried to make the parents feel guilty for their desire to breastfeed. Secondly, guilt trips don't work. The LCs who guilt trip get moms who humour them by breastfeeding for the time they are around and then quit the second they're gone. I've seen that many times in the hospital. Thirdly, it makes all breastfeeding advocates look like nutcases. How many times have we all heard "breastfeeding nazis"? This isn't the image that we need to portray.

Breastfeeding is a choice and parents have every right to make it for themselves. What works for one woman might not work for another and as long as her child is not being neglected or abused no one else's opinions matter.

**RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN** · Jul 20, 2005

I'm not a mommy yet, but I found this article very interesting and kinda leaves you something to ponder about. Thanks :)

Roseyposey · Jul 20, 2005

Interesting article. This topic always hits a nerve with me. Let me preface by saying I do understand that sometimes, for whatever reason, breastfeeding just isn't meant to be. I don't think any woman should be shamed if she truly gave it an honest try (more than a day) before resorting to the bottle. Now, that being said, what really gets under my skin is how many times women who do breastfeed their babies are made to feel like what they are doing is a shameful act. It is not a lewd act to be hidden from public view. Any mother who's successfully breastfed knows that after the initial adjustment period, both the mother and the baby become experts at it and the only thing that can be seen is the baby. The amount of breast bared for public inspection is much less than many of the current fashions put out there. There is absolutely no reason for a woman to be relegated to a public bathroom to feed her baby. Would anybody else take their lunch there? I think not!