Watch Your Language - Breast Isn't Best!

Published

And because I love to stir up the winds of controversy, I'll share this article with everyone and see what they think.

http://www.bobrow.net/kimberly/birth/BFLanguage.html

What do you all think of this article?

Alison

Specializes in NICU.
Interesting that you state "Kudos to those of us who can not", I see that as a big difference from those who wont. If a mother tries and can't for some major reason, it is understandable but what about mothers who just don't care? Who think its gross or icky? You know what...to each his own. My personal opinion is that almost every mom should at least try-I'll leave out the drug addicted mothers who shouldn't be having babies to begin with. :o

I love this discussion - so many views, so much information - wow! :)

I have to agree with you to a certain degree - some mothers should try. But what about those moms who consider it so gross or icky that it actually causes disattachment with the child because they absolutely cannot stand the act? I'm not trying to stir up a hornet's nest or anything, I am genuinely curious. I am not a nurse - just in the beginning stages and this conversation really intrigues me. So, if a mom goes ahead and breastfeeds even though she absolutely, positively (and honestly, of course) cannot stand it and if it is true that a baby can feel it's mother's emotions, then can that end up doing more psychological harm than physical good? I'm not trying to be a smarty-pants, I really am curious. Do you think this could ever cause the mother to resent the child because she is made to do something she is so uncomfortable with - the only reason I think it could is because I work with child welfare workers and I could see that happening with some parents. Thanks! :)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
I love this discussion - so many views, so much information - wow! :)

I have to agree with you to a certain degree - some mothers should try. But what about those moms who consider it so gross or icky that it actually causes disattachment with the child because they absolutely cannot stand the act? I'm not trying to stir up a hornet's nest or anything, I am genuinely curious. I am not a nurse - just in the beginning stages and this conversation really intrigues me. So, if a mom goes ahead and breastfeeds even though she absolutely, positively (and honestly, of course) cannot stand it and if it is true that a baby can feel it's mother's emotions, then can that end up doing more psychological harm than physical good? I'm not trying to be a smarty-pants, I really am curious. Do you think this could ever cause the mother to resent the child because she is made to do something she is so uncomfortable with - the only reason I think it could is because I work with child welfare workers and I could see that happening with some parents. Thanks! :)

I actually think that's important to acknowledge. I've had patients with previous histories of sexual abuse who could not get into breastfeeding (and you don't always know who has a history of sexual abuse, many of those women could just say "breastfeeding is gross"). One was abused by her father and he referred to breastfeeding during the abuse so the association was very strong for her. The nurse who looked after her the shift before didn't know about her history and was pretty judgemental about her choosing not to breastfeed. I can't tell you how badly she felt when she came back in the morning and I had to give her report.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

If I see a mom is INTENSELY uncomfortable even discussing breastfeeding, or disgusted, I don't push her. It's not I who has to contend with these issues while raising a child. Call me whatever you wish; last time I checked, it was HER decision not MINE, to make. Far be it from me to contribute to bad feelings or guilt. There is enough of that for moms as it is.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU, ER, HH, NICU, now FNP.

Some mothers with a history of sexual abuse in their past have problems with this - understandably so. No they shouldn't be pushed, but they should be referred to the appropriate counselor to work these out since ultimately it affects more than breastfeeding.

As far as mothers without that history, but simply a social aversion - there have been studies done that show that a breastfed baby is statistically less likely to be abused. We also know that child abuse is statistically more prevalent in very low income communities. From a community health standpoint, breastfeeding makes good sense.

Did you know that WIC has free breastfeeding counselors available and that breastfeeding mothers get extra food? They can also get a free breastpump from WIC.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in NICU.

Very interesting - thanks for all the input. :D

I didn't realize the correlation between breastfeeding and abuse in statistical studies, that is interesting. I was just going by the stuff I actually see show up in our child welfare office. I have heard that child abuse is more prevalant in low-income families, but our child protection worker hates that because she thinks it unfairly portrays low-income families as "bad" to a lot of people. Never looked at it that way until I started working here, but I do see it now. Interesting. She said it's a lot harder to prosecute and to protect children in a family with higher income, but there is still abuse - just typically more well hidden. It's all very strange to me - too much politics in all of it (and boy do I know how that works - beings as I am a politician and all :D).

Yes - I love the WIC program - I refer all my pregnant and new moms to them right away, it's wonderful regardless of how the mother chooses to feed! They also have prenatal assistance so that pregnant moms can get good nutrition throughout the entire pregnancy and I think even some post-natal help as well - give both the baby and the mom a good start. :D

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Some mothers with a history of sexual abuse in their past have problems with this - understandably so. No they shouldn't be pushed, but they should be referred to the appropriate counselor to work these out since ultimately it affects more than breastfeeding.

.

The problem is unless a woman tells us, we have no way of knowing her sexual abuse history. That's why NO woman should be pushed to breastfeed if she doesn't want to. We just can't know what leads a woman not to breastfeed and pushing them can be damaging.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

There are a lot of 'natural' things that people should be doing...

eating more fruits/vegetables, exercising more etc.

Smoking isn't natural, but yet lots of people do it.

Processed flour, refined sugar, packaged/prepared foods aren't natural either.

There's lots of information out there about what is best for humans (and a lot of it is contradictory), but people have to decide for themselves

In my opinion, once someone decides that they're going to judge someone based on their own personal set of values, for actions of others that are neither illegal nor unethical, you stop being a patient advocate and start being a zealot.

We, in the U.S., live in a fast-paced, industrialized world where convienence is paramount and breasts are used to sexually charge advertising. It is no wonder, that this topic is so volatile. But it is up to us, as the professionals that we are, to educate and support, not to sit in judgement.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU, ER, HH, NICU, now FNP.

You are only a zealot if you fail to provide complete information based on evidence. If you withhold information, you are functioning under a paternalistic model - and that is not patient advocacy either!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Breast feeding isn't for everyone and making moms feel guilty for giving up is cruel and inhuman punishment.

See my last post about guilt. We're not talking about Moms who have attempted bf and had difficulties. We're talking about Moms who never even considered trying.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
See my last post about guilt. We're not talking about Moms who have attempted bf and had difficulties. We're talking about Moms who never even considered trying.

those ladies, we try to educate. If they are still disinterested or disgusted, I let it go. I don't have the luxury of time to argue with people who are set against it...nor the desire to bang my head. Call me what you want. That's how it is. Life is too short to push people around.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU, ER, HH, NICU, now FNP.

At least you do educate them - there are many who leave well enough alone and don't provide ANY information at all! When I found out what my older kids had missed out on, I was LIVID that nobody had EVER bothered to broach the differences with me!!!! Nobody bothered to tell me about what they would be getting if I breastfed them, nobody bothered to tell me that formula is NOT the first best choice - breast milk is. I produced TONS of milk and suppressed it ..... ARGH!!!!!!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in OB, lactation.

It is a fine line between pushing too hard and inducing guilt, and not saying enough and making someone mad the other way (that they were not adequately informed- as happened with the previous poster gauge14iv). A lot of that depends on the perception of the patient - you could say the exact same thing to two different people and have them coming away saying very different things about the experience... I guess that's why you have to feel out the situation and do your best.

An excellent book that most of you would probably really, really enjoy if you haven't read it is Milk, Money, and Madness: The Culture and Politics of Breastfeeding; it is very enlightening on the history & culture of infant feeding in the last century or so. A page-turner/quick read if you are at all interested in this debate or subject - lots of scoop on bf advocates, formula companies (you will understand why some people hate them after reading this! - not the same as hating the substance itself, of course, which is needed), etc.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0897894081/103-1493977-3639827?v=glance

Everyone here seems to have very strong opinions & thoughts... how should we raise breastfeeding rates?

'mitchsmom' aka Anna

PS:

Here is a bunch of good info on sexual abuse survivors & BF:

Breastfeeding and the Sexual Abuse Survivor by Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, PhD, from Journal of Human Lacatation http://www.granitescientific.com/BreastfeedingCSASurvivor.pdf

Breastfeeding and the Sexual Abuse Survivor by Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, PhD, from Leaven, Vol. 33 No. 2, April-May 1997, p. 27. http://www.lalecheleague.org/llleaderweb/LV/LVAprMay97p27.html

Thoughts on how sexual abuse affects breastfeeding by Kathy Kuhn, IBCLC

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ppbreastfeed/?msg=16538.1

The Impact of Past Sexual Abuse on Breastfeeding by L. Halliday-Sumner and Deborah Kozlick http://breakingthesilence.com/breast.html

The Long Shadow: Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse by Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, Ph.D., IBCLC. Chapter from: The hidden feelings of motherhood: Coping with mothering stress, depression and burnout. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2001. http://www.granitescientific.com/thelongshadowHFM.pdf

Here is the article by Dr. Newman that someone was looking for earlier:

Breastfeeding & guilt:

http://www.kellymom.com/newman/bf_and_guilt_01-00.html

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion