Wanting to be seen as an adult!!

dphrn · Jan 22, 2004

I think you should be honest and tell her how you feel. She will never know unless you talk with her. You will be the one that it effects if you don't mention it. She has no idea that it bothers you. Take her aside and kindly tell her how it makes you feel when she refers to you by those names. I am sure she will understand and respect you for your courage and honesty. Maybe you will gain some of the respect you very well deserve.

Good luck.

crankyasanoldma · Jan 22, 2004

We've got a nurse on our unit that talks like that also- and she's young! People have told her in different ways that they don't care for it (although I don't think anyone has told her flat out to "cut it out"), but she still does it.

It doesn't bother me.

NsgTiger · Jan 23, 2004

In this situation, I would half jokingly make a few comments about the fact that I am not a child... like "geez, I feel like your my mother what's with all this kiddo stuff" (smiling ofcourse) Good luck, I can empathize as people have a tendency to treat me like this too!

renerian, BSN, RN · Jan 23, 2004

Oh please call me "blah blah"whatever your name of preference to be called is. It is all in the presentation. Sometimes people say that when they are taking you under their wing. I do not say that but I do not like to be called honey either.

renerian

Cali · Jan 23, 2004

That same thing happens where I work and I think it's because most of the nurses have kids my age. Some of them are old enough to be my grandmother. I try not to take it so seriously because I can kind of understand. Although I think it's a little inappropriate to call you honey in front of your patients. You should just talk to her and let her know how you're feeling. I'm sure she'll understand.

mattsmom81 · Jan 23, 2004

I now work in the south where it seems more common to address each other like this. All ages. I've always taken it with a grain of salt and have unconsciously picked up the habit...LOL!,

I was raised up north, and thinking back , it would have been quite unseemly (even patronizing) to do this.

One young nurse calls all us older nurses Ma. :chuckle

Dayray, RN · Jan 24, 2004

I wouldn't take it that seriously. Lots of older nurses call me kid or young man. I see it as a term of endearment and am actually kind of comforted by it.

As a new grad I'm happy to have them backing me up. As much as I want to be taken seriously I want their advise and help.

If I were you I would think hard about how you want to be perceived. The older nurses of course see you as young to nursing (which you are) I don't think it has as much to do with your age as it does the fact that you are new to nursing.

I'm sure you want to be a strong nurse and be seen as such by your peers. You'll get there eventually but for now let them think of you as their kiddo and learn from them. Then when you have earned it, they will see you as equal and be proud that they had a hand in getting you there.

I think that if you ask them to stop calling you kid they might do so but it might also change the way they see you and they might not be as helpful as they might have been (even if they aren't angry).

Also think of how it could be bad if they did see you as a strong and completely able nurse before you are ready to be independent. Like I said before, once you get there it would be great to have the respect of your peers but if it comes too soon and they don't help you the way they would the "kiddo" you could easily end up in over your head.

live4today, RN · Jan 24, 2004

Originally posted by mattsmom81
I now work in the south where it seems more common to address each other like this. All ages. I've always taken it with a grain of salt and have unconsciously picked up the habit...LOL!,

I was raised up north, and thinking back , it would have been quite unseemly (even patronizing) to do this.

One young nurse calls all us older nurses Ma. :chuckle

I'm in agreement with you mattsmom81. :)

When I worked in the southern states, age was not a factor with people of all ages referring to one another as hon, honey, dear, sweetie pie, kiddo, and the like.

At first I was a little bothered by it as some of the ones calling me kiddo were younger than myself. But, as I learned the "southern way", I grew to understand that it was just the southerners way of communication with others. They didn't mean any harm by it at all.

Those are terms of endearment that perhaps loved ones in our family or close family friends may use within their family circle, but they are also words used in every day life with some people. Perhaps that nurse grew up with that form of communicating with others.......especially those younger than she......and may not even realize how it hurts emily_rn_03. So, I do agree that if those terms are offensive to someone, they should certainly bring it to the other persons attention in a kind way. You may have to correct them from time to time as those things are a force of habit with them....like one's culture...way of life. Be patient with her as you graduate her to a new way of thinking when it comes to what you want to be called emily. :)

I find myself doing the same thing with others because I lived in the south for so long. :chuckle

I'm not offended when people remind me to refer to them as "so and so". I have a best friend who is six years younger than myself, and I have called her "kiddo" for years. She loves it as the older we get the more we like those "terms of endearment".

hmccartn · Jan 24, 2004

I can understand how you feel..Before i entered nursing i worked for the government. i started when i was 19 and was initially questioned by clients (more often than coworkers) about my ability based on age...this behaviour didnt last long because i exuded professionalism and confidence so they came to see that i was very capable in my position and deserved respect. On occassion I still had the odd coworker call me brat, kid, etc...but i knew that they never meant it in a demeaning way.. I would roll with it for now...or maybe say to her that you are concerned about appearing professional due to your age etc...and she may take the cues....try not to take it personally...and do as i did...exude professionalism, skill, competence and people will quickly learn to respect you for your abilities..you will develop a reputation related to the above qualities.. if anything be proud that you are where you are at your age ..(not that i know your age, i am just assuming you are younger)..best of luck.

SmilingBluEyes · Jan 24, 2004

I would not get my undies all in a wad over this.

but IF it bothers you THIS much, BE an ADULT as you wish to be seen, and be honest about it. Tell them tactfully and clearly you wish NOT to be addressed this way.

P_RN, ADN, RN · Jan 24, 2004

As someone who looked 17 until I was 37....I say relax.

As soon as Miss Clairol and I parted company I became "grandma" to my preceptees.....and by my being a GRITS they all were kiddo or hon at least once a day......it's a southern thing.