I have just recently started my job as a new grad RN at a new hospital. I am assigned to a preceptor that has been at this position for about 30 years. I am trying hard to be seen as an "equal" and as a professional in this nursing career. This is difficult for me because my preceptor calls me "kiddo" "honey" and "dear" to just name a few. I can understand that there is an age gap and it may be natural for her to do that, but I feel that it undermines me when she uses those names in front of doctors, patient families, and other nurses.
I would like to say something to her, but being the new nurse on the unit, I feel like I should just grin and bear it. Any suggestions??
but IF it bothers you THIS much, BE an ADULT as you wish to be seen, and be honest about it. Tell them tactfully and clearly you wish NOT to be addressed this way.
Thank you SmilingBluEyes very well put. As hmccartn implied it's not meant in a demeaning way. I'm sure it's meant in an endearing way by no means is she trying to undermine you. The only thing I wish to say emily_rn_03 is with no disrespect you are a new grad and you are a professional, but by no means are you anywhere near an equal yet. You have to get your feet wet a little before you become an equal.
I would be careful and not offend anyone. Some people just use these terms of endearment and do not mean to offend. I try not to take offense where none is intended. Speak to this nurse if you think you can without hard feelings. Please remember, you could be called much worse.
but IF it bothers you THIS much, BE an ADULT as you wish to be seen, and be honest about it. Tell them tactfully and clearly you wish NOT to be addressed this way.
I understand that to some it is meant as an "enduring" term, especially in the south. I am from the midwest. As for what speculating has said... New grads don't get repsect until we work for a few years? That'll make a wonderful work environment. And no offense to anyone with this, because I have appreciated different view points.. but with attitudes as such does it ever make you wonder why there is a nursing shortage?
I work in Jacksonville Florida and I talk like that all the time. BUT... only if I like you, will I call you honey or sweetie otherwise I say yes mamam and no mamam.
Consider it a friendship/bonding thing My best bud "Mary" is honeypie to me and I"m sugarbunch to her.
as a fellow midwesterner and young (just turned 21)nurse, nothing will stun an older co-worker like saying "yes, ma'am" or "yes, sir". it is polite but will usually stop someone in their tracks, in indiana at least. several nurses where i work asked me to stop saying yes, ma'am because it made them feel old. i was brought up to refer to my elders in such a fashion, from the lady behind the mcdonald's counter to my grandmother. so, you see, i didn't mean any harm, but egos still got hurt.
p.s.- my elderly residents LOVE yes, ma'ams, it makes them feel respected.
I do agree with DAYRAY'S comment 100%...I'd rather have my seasoned colleague perceive me as a new grad (I've only been a nurse for barely 2 yrs).. at least when I handled things efficiently, they'll think..she's a smart new grad.... rather than have them question my confidence when I become unable to handle things well when it goes beyond my competence.
I understand where everyone is coming from who says 'I wouldn't let it bother me" but I would. I wouldn't want to be outwardly defensive, but I've been called Kiddo and youngster by people I've worked with, and it bothers me. My thought has been, professionalism is number one priority. I did have one boss that called me "kiddo" but for some reason it didnt bother me.
WHAT WOULD REALLY BOTHER ME is being called kiddo or whatever in front of patients. I don't know how I would feel as a pt having an older nurse call a younger one that.. between the two of you is one thing, in front of patients is another.
It doesn't matter if people think it should bother you or not, it does, and you can't help how you feel. And if it's bothering you now, it will REALLY bother you if you fail to say anything to her and let it simmer inside for a while. I think you should calmly tell her how it makes you feel, even though that probably isn't how she intended to make you feel, and that it would really make you more comfortable and confident around patients if she could stop calling you by those names. :)
Speculating
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Thank you SmilingBluEyes very well put. As hmccartn implied it's not meant in a demeaning way. I'm sure it's meant in an endearing way by no means is she trying to undermine you. The only thing I wish to say emily_rn_03 is with no disrespect you are a new grad and you are a professional, but by no means are you anywhere near an equal yet. You have to get your feet wet a little before you become an equal.