Wanting to Quit my Covid-19 job

[Bbang]

Hey guys, I am needing some advise regarding to my job.

I graduated in December (2019) and accepted my dream job in Vascular Surgery and Renal Transplant. I have always loved transplants and this particular floor has a transition program into the CVICU (if you get accepted). It sounded perfect because I want to move to critical care eventually but I wanted acute care experience before that jump. I didn't get accepted into the program but you can reapply every 6mths.

So I moved 2hrs away from my hometown and started this new job with not knowing anybody here and being 100% on my own for the first time in my life. At first it was fine, it's a busy floor busy but I get to learn about these cool vascular surgeries and transplants. But then Covid started to hit our area and our floor quickly turned into covid land. All of our old patients are on different floors of the hospital and there is no end in site with being an acute care covid floor. I'm on nights and we are constantly short staffed. Only 1 tech for a 32bed floor and each nurse regularly takes 6-7 patients. Most of us are taking over time to help out when we're short staffed, which is burning us out. Even the nurses with years experience are saying they're overwhelmed and it's never been this bad before. The other night we originally had 6 nurses (which makes for a wonderfully staffed night) but house super pulled 2 of our nurses leaving us with all nurses with under 8mths experience (our team leader had the most experience with 8mths). We ended up having 15 admissions from the ED and it was such a hell night. Thank God nothing crazy happened like a rapid response because I honestly don't know how we could have handled that. That's another thing, once the patient's covid swab results come back negative we a supposed to transfer them off the floor so we are constantly moving patients off and getting new ones. I cant even remember what's going on with half of my patients!

I am so discouraged. I feel like I can't keep up with what's going on at work. We are so busy that I feel like I'm not providing great care. I struggle finding enough time to read up on my patients charts, look at their lab trends, see what old procedures they had. And I still feel new so a lot of these I labs I don't know the significance of and I don't have enough time to sit down and learn the importance of them.

I regularly feel regretful for moving over here for this terrible job. If I would have known this job would have been like this I would have never moved. I just don't know what to do. I only have 6mths experience, but I don't know if I can handle this anymore. I almost always go home crying after my 3/3 stretch of work and dread when I come back. And the today my parents came over to visit and I started crying again when they asked about work. And I'm not an emotional person, I just feel so overwhelmed and upset with the situation I'm in.

I'm really needing advise for this situation. :(

[Bbang]

On 7/29/2020 at 9:23 AM, macawake said:

In order to find the energy to do anything after long and taxing shifts, I have always relied on exercise and sometimes just slow walks through nature, or just sitting down and contemplating the beauty of a sunrise. Find a way to de-stress that works for you, then perhaps you’ll find the energy to tackle more studying.

Take care!

Definitely great advise. I have been trying to find a good routine during night shift to keep myself healthy. I workout/run when I find the energy but there's always room for improvement

[Bbang]

On 7/30/2020 at 3:33 PM, JKL33 said:

ALL of these things are very important. And yet, according to the laws of nature, they cannot all be done according to some ideal (no matter how correct or "standard" that ideal is) by a handful of nurses working in the situation described.

Stand up for these inexperienced nurses (***and their patients***) who are left alone on their floor in the situation described because they had some of their last resources for avoiding outright chaos taken away.

I already advised the OP that if bona fide emergencies can't be handled in a timely manner due to administrative decisions, that is a reason to leave the position. That was one of two measures I gave for judging the OP's situation.

Sheesh, this job is overwhelming haha. I don't even know where to begin because a large part of those tasks I don't have time to do properly. And then add having to donn n95, shield, gown, gloves, and sometimes booties in every patient room and doffing appropriately too. They're also wanting us to bundle as much care as possible to ration our PPE and minimize exposure to the patients. Which sucks. I came into to this job for the patients and now I can barely see them. Remembering everything is almost impossible.

The more I read from you all the more I'm realizing how potentially dangerous this situation is. I emailed my manager regarding to my concerns and asked what was going to be done to keep a safe environment on the floor. Her response was saying she was dealing with an epidemic of unprecedented times and she has hired new graduates to be on the team. Our floor is already majority new graduates! And now were getting more?? I was joking around the other night asking who was going to teach all these new graduates. I spoke too soon. The nurses that got out of orientation 2mths ago with me are taking orientees. Talk about the blind leading the blind.

I really want to provide high quality care. I really do. But it feels like every night the floor is in survival mode and we're all just doing to the bare minimum to get by. And even with that mentality we're all staying late to catch up with charting, etc.

[Hoosier_RN, MSN]

2 hours ago, macawake said:

( * Utopia & Unicorns Medical Center)

love this facility name almost as much as DaveyDo's Wrongway Medical Center

[JKL33]

1 hour ago, Bbang said:

Her response was saying she was dealing with an epidemic of unprecedented times and she has hired new graduates to be on the team. Our floor is already majority new graduates! And now were getting more??

The new grads she was referring to are you. I will translate for you: "I do not handle stress the way I expect others to. I gave you [new grad] a chance because I thought you would be my preferred version of a team-player, which doesn't involve your safety baloney."

Anyway, that is jaded (but probably true)--but let me get back on track. I know it does feel very bad. Just do your absolute best, think of all you are learning, and if one of the two conditions I mentioned previously are occurring then her version of team player is over.

[londonflo]

On 7/28/2020 at 12:29 PM, londonflo said:

Maybe I didn't catch this right but you started out with 17 patients? and then 15 were admitted with Covid?

Quote

Not even worth it to go there. First, the OP says they were also transferring patients off all night which surely freed up some of the beds to get more admissions.

JKL33

You know, I resented your reply here. While the OP said they transferred patients who received negative tests, nothing was said about this particular night. I find it hard to discuss time management and strategies to help when the examples of what really was happening are vague and murky. I have learned this from my many discussions with new nurses. You can't help if you truly do not know the circumstances. I want to offer support but I have to really know what was going on.

[Tron8622]

Well obviously you sound like a normal nurse with common sense . No your not crazy , but this going to sound crazy . This is nursing everywhere . It's unsafe , under-trained, understaffed , and they stab you in the back so bad even judas would be like “sweet jesus” Just quit and learn something from it . you be glad u did and your not alone .We have all been there they are using u .

[Workitinurfava, BSN, RN]

Pick and choose what to do and when, take your break or sneak into the breakroom to eat and drink something. Yes the odds are stacked against you so learn to speak up more and cover your asz. Only go as fast as you need to. Someone is dying, move quick, people need meds, prioritize and pace yourself. Weigh your options of quitting because it is bad in most places right now. We are in a crisis. Only quit if you feel you may have a breakdown or you won't survive. I say this with experience and having job hopped a lot in past. I am back at a hospital I left. Since I already know how other places are, I am staying put because hopping made interviewing hard.I almost left nursing but am glad I didn't because I probably would not be working right now and I am saving up my money/paying bills. Who knows what the future holds as far as my career but for now I will put away reserve money. Being jobless sucks.

[caliotter3]

Going through the never-ending list of extremely important nursing behaviors reminded me of granddaughter’s remark that she couldn’t see herself becoming a nurse because she would have to “change diapers”. Heavens, the conversation never got anywhere near secondary or tertiary priority nursing activities. She probably would have gone into shock halfway through the rendition after hearing that nurses get paid to change the diapers of other people’s children. A snowflake in the making!

[JKL33]

On 7/30/2020 at 8:02 PM, londonflo said:

JKL33

You know, I resented your reply here.

I will apologize. I took that part of your comment more as explaining away rottenness (very common in this profession) but have re-read and understand that you were trying to clarify something. My apologies.

On the other hand, we can just stick with a very few facts to understand this situation: 4 nurses, each with less than 8 months' experience, admitted 15 patients to acute care while caring for other patients, with 1 tech to help them.

I don't care if X number of nursing bodies sounds "cushy" for the number of patients who were on the floor at the start of the shift. The manager and the supervisor knew pretty much what this shift was going to look like; it was not a surprise. If this manager wants kudos and devotion, gratitude and "team-playing" from these new grads she has so generously hired and wants their help getting through the worst crisis she has ever experienced (reference her email response to the OP's inquiry, above) then she needs to act like it, and back it up with resources, and with caring something--some little bit--about their foundation in nursing. She is treating them like trash and instantly resenting them for how they feel about it. So classic.

[HiddencatBSN, BSN]

23 hours ago, caliotter3 said:

Going through the never-ending list of extremely important nursing behaviors reminded me of granddaughter’s remark that she couldn’t see herself becoming a nurse because she would have to “change diapers”. Heavens, the conversation never got anywhere near secondary or tertiary priority nursing activities. She probably would have gone into shock halfway through the rendition after hearing that nurses get paid to change the diapers of other people’s children. A snowflake in the making!

Meh, that was my mom’s biggest reason for why she thought I shouldn’t go in to nursing: changing diapers and emptying bedpans. For some people that stuff is a deal breaker, and luckily there are other careers they can pursue. Your snowflake bar is pretty low if aversion to dealing with poop on the job is on their ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Missingyou, CNA]

So, if an error is made and the patient is harmed as a result.....who will be found to be negligent? .....the DON? Hospital administrators? Someone in the ED ?? .....I'm guessing, in the end, they will point at the RN & call neglect or malpractice. There will be no mention of being over worked, overwhelmed with less than 12 months experience.

[egg122 NP, MSN, APRN]

Your situation is tough.

Honestly, stop taking overtime. Take time to recharge. Don't feel guilty about not working extra shifts. It is not your responsibility to staff the unit beyond showing up for the 36-40 hours you agreed to by taking a full time job. Staffing is management's job.

So please do not take this next paragraph as me stating your situation is in your head or somehow your fault. It is not, the work conditions stink but I have found most work conditions in healthcare stink. Have you considered working with a psychologist on both stress/anxiety management, learning to detach, and appropriate boundary setting at work? I did this and, frankly, wish I had started years ago in order to cope in today's healthcare environment. Many psychologists are now online and do appts in off hours (for example, I've had appts at 11 pm). I found mine on doctorondemand. May not necessarily be for you but it is something to think about.

I wouldn't necessarily quit right now given many nurses have actually gotten furloughed. Also, as I mentioned before, the grass is rarely greener when it comes to healthcare jobs. Give yourself more time and experience to be able to apply for a great job rather than start job hopping and ending up in another unit like this.