Visitors who stay overnight. Vent.

[beeker]

I love the ones who care so much about their family they want to stay by their side. Lately however, I am finding the other kind . Twice this week I have had to deal with a visitor who yells at me for caring for my patient. One demanded we keep the lights off, it was disturbing their sleep. Her mom had a major surgery and I needed to keep a close eye and empty all the drains often. I need to see her color and see that she is ok. This visitor complained to the house supervisor and we were told to use penlights. Are you kidding? Safety and care needs to come first. I continued to turn on the light and was told I will hear about this again. Another visitor had a tantrum because we could not provide her with her own room and bed to sleep in. Her fathers breathing was keeping her up and too many people coming in to check On him. Just go home then! This is a hospital. Our rooms have daybeds for visitors and chairs that recline which is more than most hospitals I have seen. I am required to see my patient at least every 2 hours I am sorry if that annoys you. But after surgery things can go wrong quickly. Ugh.

[sapphire18]

Oh ok. We call it an incident report. Those go to risk management. Usually don't see anything resolved from it though.

[wellcoachRN]

I feel everyone's pain. One of the tricks I used to get family members/caregivers to go home is to emphasize the fact that their loved one is being cared for. Express to them that you know how stressful it is having a family member in the hospital and that now would be a great time to build up their reserves with adequate rest and nutrition since they will be the ones providing care once the patient returns home. Provide them with your phone number and reassure them they can call you at any hour of the night or day. Perhaps the most difficult thing to do is to establish and build trust. Allow the caregivers to verbalize their concerns they may have in leaving. Believe it or not, many caregivers feel that they need permission to leave. I sometimes would verbalize my concern by saying "I have seen you here 24/7 for the last few days and I am concerned about your health.' When you build up trust, most of the time, the family members relax. You will always have a few unreasonable family members. The majoity of the public has no clue in regrds to how stressfull nursing can be. Unfortunately, we are nursing in a time when there is great dissatisfaction with the medical communinty as well as the high cost of health care.

I personally have been on the "other side" as a family member with both parents (at different times) being in the hospital for an extended period of time. I had no idea how physically and emotionally draining it was, especially when they received grossly inferior care. I am not blamming the nurses, I blame the crappy hospital system that has little regard for nurses.

Good luck to everyone!

[psu_213, BSN, RN]

I think that patients family member who demands you keep the lights off should be risk mastered, the supervisor as well.

I really like this idea! Just be sure to stick to the facts and be nonjudgemental.

[ritamaecannon]

Family is an extension of the patient and that is where the challenge comes in. There has to be middle ground with patient safety at the top. People are in the hospital for a reason and the nursing staff has to be able to their jobs; like observing the patient! It appears that common sense has left the building.

Now I have been in situations where I have not budget from my family member side because I did not trust the nursing staff. One hospital stay in particular I was the staff nurse worse nightmare (but in a nice way)

[Nursetastic]

I work in an ICU. I lay out the plan for the night right up front. I tell them I will be in the room at least every hour to check on all lines, tubes, and pumps. In addition, the lights WILL be turned on for assessments depending on the patient's needs as each individual patient is different and things can change quickly. I explain that the room is small and should the patient have to use the toilet or is incontinent, the visitor will be asked to leave the room for the patient's privacy and for safety so we are not all tripping on each other. I also let them know that bed bound patients are bathed early in the AM and they will also be asked to leave for bathing. They are told about these things, not asked. I then explain that their time would be better spent sleeping at home each night and arriving early each morning and spending the day with the patient when they are awake and when docs are rounding. I emphasize how important their rest and health are to the patient as they will be taking care of the patient upon discharge...hopefully, anyway. I rarely have issues.

[cannolis]

Nursetastic is doing it right. Seems like laying it flat on the table beforehand will set the motion.

[echoRNC711, BSN]

Working ,in the past, in CVRU I took a direct approach. I met the family in the waiting room prior to pt's arrival and told family "

"Your mother/father is my priority . I understand you want to be in the room but if you get in the way of care I will ask you to leave because I want your mom/dad to get all of my attention and get the care they deserve."

Depending on the family I may add "I am sure you would agree your mom/dad comes first, right? "

As regards the over nighters , my approach is "Your mom/dad need you to help them to progress during the day. If you are over tired you are not going to be the best help to them. I know it might be hard to leave but if you want to be the best help to them go home and get rest so that you can best help them in the morning"

To the more resistant family members. "I need to put the light on to give your mom the proper care she needs If you don't want her to get that care then I need to document that because I am very concerned that if staff can't put the light on your mom will not get the care she needs. "

[Fiona59]

The only people who get to stay overnight on my unit are a family member who can translate. End of discussion. Our patients aren't terminal (when we do get the odd palliative patient then the family can stay until the end).

Same rationale for a private room, not dying? No. Not infectious? No.

[Susie2310]

When my family members are hospitalized I stay with them 24/7. I co-operate with the nursing staff and am very reasonable, but I am there to advocate for and provide support for my loved ones in any way I can, and my family members want me there with them. I have caught errors in nursing care and helped my family members when there were too few aides. You bet I stay with my family when they are in hospital.

[Sadala, ADN, RN]

I have stayed overnight with both my grandmother and my father once they were out of CCU (while in CCU I stayed downstairs where many of the families are allowed to sleep in chairs). I've also stayed with my son. I simply CANNOT imagine trying to impede the care of one of my family members, since its one of the main reasons I stay. I'm afraid all of you are nicer than I would be to someone who became insistent about their own comfort at the expense of their relative.

Heck, if someone even offers to bring me a blanket I'm eternally grateful and feel like I've won the lotto.

[Sadala, ADN, RN]

That said, studies show fewer mistakes for pts who have family members who stay. That's a good enough reason for me to be around as much as possible.

[Susie2310]

That said, studies show fewer mistakes for pts who have family members who stay. That's a good enough reason for me to be around as much as possible.

Absolutely true in my experience.

I was told by the surgeon who operated on a family member that studies show that patients heal and recover better if they have family member/s with them. He told us that the staff would shortly be moving to a new hospital where there would be sleeping facilities in the patients' rooms for a family member. My family member shared a room in the old hospital and I slept in the lounge on the unit. I was by my family member's bedside throughout the day and late in to the night. My family member made a very good recovery and was discharged early. On follow up visits the surgeon said he was very pleased with my family member's recovery.