Verbally Abusing a Nurse

Chrispy11, ASN, RN · Dec 1, 2018

Not a punishment but at least have someone make it clear that the behavior will not be tolerated or some sort of changes in policy. I wasnt repremanded. The lack of saying hey, this isnt appropriate behavior from administration who actually have power to make a difference is what is bothering me. Because it's not just this one patient it is continuously the case.

You do understand a hospital is a business. They need people to come there to make money. They want to smooth over the customer, not irritate them. Word of mouth is very powerful. A reputation once lost is hard to regain. You're going to find rude customers in virtually every business sector. No getting away from it. Unless the behavior puts employees in danger, administration us always going to try and keep them happy. People are going to be rude and employees cost money, not bring it in. So I learned from many years in business services.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Dec 1, 2018

Anytime a patient is being out of line verbally abusing staff or calling staff names getting rowdy yelling and threatening you in the hospital you absolutely should call security for everyone's safety patient and staff. The fact that noone has talked to the patient about thier actions and how it wont be accepted in the hospital is BS. It's just annoying that instead of having that talk with the pt they reward the behavior with kissing thier butt. In that way I feel they leave staff open for continuous abuse by not saying hey it's not ok to act like this and it wont be accepted.

What?????

You call security if the patient presents a safety concern to others -- staff, other patients, family member, or the patient himself. You don't call security for a patient verbally abusing staff (name calling falls under "verbal abuse" as does unrealistic threats like "I'll sue you if you don't get me a big glass of water right now".) And why haven't YOU talked to the patient about how their behavior is unacceptable?

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Dec 1, 2018

MACAWAKE and Hk30,

I've worked in the USA, and am currently in Canada. You are both making good points, but be aware that you are talking about apples and grapefruits. Yes, in the USA, admin encourages soothing complaining patients, even if they are totally irrational and disruptive. In Canada, I have not yet seen the level of *******ry that was a daily issue in my ER in the USA. I was afraid to go out in the waiting room to do those updates our boss mandated when the wait was long. People would get up in your face and yell, over a laceration, and demand immediate service, after I had just explained about the mulitrauma currently in house. I suspect its something you need to see to believe.

Hk30, you've gotten good suggestions, but some people get tunnel vision and cant accept alternatives once they get so wound up. It's not your problem, even though you are being blamed. I never did come up with a solution to the craziness, but walking away and talking about alternatives with other staff sometimes helped. We'd get another idea, and theyd have a chance to calm down. Kick it up the chain of command if you can.

amzyRN · Dec 2, 2018

I don't tolerate abuse anymore from patients, administrators or co-workers. I'm very easy going, but if it crosses the line, I will say something to them. I have said plainly I don't have to tolerate abuse, I don't have to tolerate disrespect. That is not part of my job description. It shuts them down every time.

Jory, MSN, APRN, CNM · Dec 2, 2018

It drives me crazy when Administration basically tells patients it's ok to abuse your nurse. People come in totally alert and oriented demanding things we cant give , yell, scream, call you names. Then when you call security because they refuse to be transferred to another floor and are carrying on abusing the NA's have the nerve to file a complaint for having security called on them. Of course the patient advocate is kissing thier butt like they had every right to act like a tantrum throwing child. But my question is WHERE IS THE STAFF SUPPORT? WHY ARENT THEY LETTING THE PATIENTS KNOW ITS UNACCEPTABLE TO ACT THIS WAY IN THE HOSPITAL?! It makes me sick.

To me, this is not shocking.

Hospitals tolerate physicians abusing nurses. Hospitals tolerate nurses abusing other nurses.

Is it ok? Absolutely not...but this is why it happens. The PG surveys need to go away.

allnurses Guide · Dec 2, 2018

Just a last note on this. The behavior described in this thread is not exclusively found in the patient population. Since the early 1980's there has been a decline in behavior standards. People are not taught how to be polite. They have few if any boundaries and think they have the right to say whatever they want to anyone they want without repercussion. The "everybody gets a trophy" generation has grown up and started to reproduce. It's a brave new world we live in.

Hppy

FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN · Dec 2, 2018

Abuse is not something that happens because the abused person allows it to happen. This is a myth. This myth has led people to respond to undesirable behaviors in a way that is not helpful to them. In other words, ineffective coping.

We don't control other people.

I am all for setting boundaries. Just make sure you can actually make good on them. Can you really refuse care until a person has stopped cursing or name calling? If you can do that, then okay. If not, don't say that you will because it will only make you feel powerless when you are inevitably challenged on your ultimatum and can't make good on it.

Don't allow patients to split you against other staff, ie patient relations staff. Just let them do their job when you have a difficult patient. Who cares if they are kowtowing? The point is that you are now off the hook for this nonsense. Someone else is handling it. Assume that person is on your side. Let go of your need for justice. These people are sick enough to be in the hospital, or a family member is. Their suffering is built in. Just let it go.

Sandra Aguirre, ASN, BSN, RN · Dec 2, 2018

I too was in the same situation, after 5 years I was done with bedside care. I did not feel like a nurse and felt more like a maid. I left bedside nursing and I am at my happiest!

Sparki77 · Dec 2, 2018

Agreed.

edit to add additional txt.

Sparki77 · Dec 2, 2018

@SobreRN -

Agreed.

Hk30 · Dec 3, 2018

I too was in the same situation, after 5 years I was done with bedside care. I did not feel like a nurse and felt more like a maid. I left bedside nursing and I am at my happiest!

What are you doing now?

anewsns · Dec 3, 2018

Hmmm .. that doesn't really happen In my hospital thankfully- if they're being that bad management would talk to them, usually patients back off when I address them straight on. Patient visitor relations usually deescalates them for us, it's like, they side with a patient but in a way that doesn't hurt the nurses even more. I'm on neuro though so most of the time this stuff is neuro related and we have to do things to deescalate that specific patient. If we need to call security, it's usually on a family member! Violence usually warrants a sitter and restraints on my unit. I had this one Case of severe verbal abuse from family and they didn't give me that patient back and everyone and their brother came to my defense. Just relating my normal experience.

I have to say, At my other jobs we didn't have it quite as good but it wasn't as bad as you're saying here. Are you talking about a specific situation ? If this happens all the time and you get no help id say you have an awful work culture at your place !