Verbal Abuse...I Gave What I Got...

[abundantjoy07]

Has anyone ever snapped while on the job? After all of the verbal abuse has anyone ever just gave back to the patient what they give to us? I did last night...all the threads I've searched no one has ever said they as the nurse responded aggressively. I'm just curious to hear the responses of others. My charge nurse was allll tooo happy to report it to the director and to tell the family to file their complaint... but when I got in to speak with the director he just said, it happens. Patients are always going to be mad and for me to just go home so I could get rest for work tonight... Really? In the age of customer service and just grin and bear it I expected more.

Just a little background, the 18 year old patient literally thought he was bleeding to death from his nose (vitals stable, no horrible frank bleeding, mainly dried blood from the pressure he was holding) and the doctor wasn't able to see him in 5 minutes of his arrival...EMS brought him in and he automatically got a room and I guess he thought he was in dire straits. He was also mad because guess what I was in another room and not in his giving him the magic pill he needed. He yelled he needed help now and I straight up told him, you're not dying, keep the pressure on it because it's working, the doctor knows you're here and he will see you soon. He cussed and started throwing stuff, his mother got angry and started getting hostile and I just told her they could either wait for the doctor or they could get up and go to another ER. She got angry and then I really went off...

How on earth can you stay sweet and kind all the time anyway? Sometimes therapeutic touch and all that mess just goes out the window and self-preservation kicks in...

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

I think it is great that the boss understands and it is no big deal.

Maybe if more nurses did this and were supported some of these people would not behave so ridiculously.

[GitanoRN, BSN, MSN, RN]

once again, i will reinstate what i said on a previous forum regarding this issue, i can't wait till all states place into practice the violence against nurses bill. moreover, governor david paterson signed the violence against nurses bill (a3103-a / s4018-a) into law on aug. 14, 2010, making it a felony to assault a registered nurse rn or licensed practical nurse lpn while on duty in ny. however, this law doesn't apply to verbal abuse which our facility has zero tolerance on this behavior. therefore, it's up to management and administration, to inform the public that this type of behavior wont be acceptable period, plus implement the proper guide lines on how to deal with such incidents. in addition, when you notice that the pt. you're dealing with is leaning towards an unwelcome behavior stop and get reinforcement, the scope of duties doesn't include being abused in any shape or form...just saying

[chevyv, BSN, RN]

I too am a psych nurse and get this every single day I go to work. It just rolls right off of me. I try to understand the frsutration from the pts view, doesn't always work but it helps quell my desire for a quick comeback knowing it will only make the situation worse. I've learned to speak calmly and have told pts they will have my full attention once they can stop their behavior. But boy, I can relate big time!

[Delete_Me_Please]

All the bills in the world about violence against nurses aren't going to change the fact that, as our departments get more and more overcrowded, and continue that trend as obamacare phases in, people are going to get more and more abusive and aggressive with us. As long as payment is tied to patient satisfaction scores, our managers will continue to fire nurses for refusing to take abuse beyond what anyone should have to endure.

My thought is, you can go ahead and fire me, but I'm not going to get yelled at and called names for doing my job and trying to help people... That **** will never happen.

[Aongroup1990, CNA]

Keep your head up. sometimes we have to vent it out. maybe try writing or praying when things like that happens i have a bad tempur but i have to calm myself sometimes. try talking to a counselor.. nobody will judge you sweetie it happens... you probably were boiled up at that time... It may not have been right, but just ask god to calm your nerves ... pray

[CrashED]

You are not alone! Sometimes you just need to hand it back...then fill out an incident report to cover your own ass!:)

[GitanoRN, BSN, MSN, RN]

i recall reading on a previous post something along the lines about a situation between a nurse and her verbally abusive pt. she answered the pt. in this manner and i quote "well aren't you precious" when the nm asked the pt. what she called him the nm sited with the nurse. having said that, comebacks like these come long with experience on the job...just saying

[tewdles, RN]

I agree that patients, family, and visitors can be rude and inappropriate. You don't have to take it.

However, like other posters have said, their inappropriate behavior in NO WAY justifies inappropriate behavior on our part. We are the professionals, they are just people who apparently are challenged in social behaviors.

As a manager, I would not have positive response to a nurse responding to an upset person in the department by using inappropriate tone or message...we are held to a higher standard.

[diosa78]

I work in an ER and do not tolerate verbal abuse from anyone - staff, patient, patient's family. He's 18. His mother does not need to be there with him. If she's causing more problems, I would ask her to leave. He might have started to act more appropriate once she left.

Just recently, I had a patient's husband scream at me and become verbally abuse. I explained to him and his wife that doctors see patients in order of acuity. I explain that vital signs are stable and I will observe for any changes, etc. When it continues, I excuse myself and then I tell my charge and the house supervisor that a patient and family member are being abusive. I then tell the family member that if they don't calm down and treat staff with respect then they will be asked to leave. I am there for the patient, not the family member and if they are causing more harm, it is my right to ask the family to leave per hospital policy where I work. I have always been supported because abuse is not tolerated where I work.

I know it's hard to keep your cool sometimes. It's just something you can learn from for the next time.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

It sounds like you were proud of your actions . What does "and then I really went off mean"?

Was the patient throwing things at you ? Were you experiencing a physical assault? Then get security.

They were both frightened and agitated. A little blood looks like a lot , when it's yours. Were they acting out verbally? Calm reassurance would have worked wonders.

If you can't provide that any more, you need another job.

Don't assume there won't be any disciplinary action. Being sent home is a BAD sign.

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

hmmm. OP never came back. That always makes me wonder what is going on.

[Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN]

I have been less than therapeutic, but I have never "gone off".

I have held my tongue in the face of astounding self absorption. For example, the guy with the abscess compaining about the wait while we're coding an infant, or the borderline personality disorder mother demanding the doctor RIGHT NOW for her perfectly healthy, stable child with the common cold, while the medics are rolling in one after the other with STEMIs and strokes and respiratory failures.

It can be very difficult to remain detached under the enormous amounts of pressure we face in the ED, but remember, it is not about you at all. There is no point in taking it so personally that you "go off".

People will do what they *think* they need to do to get what they *think* they need.

That bears repeating.

People will do what they *think* they need to do to get what they *think* they need.

Letting it get to you to the point where you lose control harms you more than it does them. If the stress of the job is getting to you that much, then I think it might be good to take a step or two back and reflect on whether this is the right kind of environment for you to be working in.

THAT would be true "self preservation".