Verbal Abuse...I Gave What I Got...

Ziptxtech · Jul 17, 2012

I try to remind myself that it may not be an emergency from my point of view, but it's an emergency for the patient. I take a calm deep breath and apologize to the patient/family and usually try to do something more to comfort them. But, their are those patients who you just can't help, and I just take it with a grain of salt. One of my fellow nurses actually got punched in the face when he inserted a foley into a guy, the nurse didn't really respond and just left and got the on duty police officer. The guy with charged with assault and arrested in the room. Yay for the Police.

Delete_Me_Please · Jul 18, 2012

I wish... The last time I got punched, i called the cops, filed the reports, and said I'd be willing to testify and swear out whatever, so they arrested him. A few weeks later, I hadn't heard anything about the case, so I called e city attorneys office and got the runaround. When I called a friend in the office, she told me that someone from my hospital called the city attorney and influenced him to drop the case because (to paraphrase) it would make the hospital look bad if we looked like we were a place where fights were just breaking out in the ER.

I gave the story to the media, the city attorney had no comment, the report no longer existed in their files, and my employer denied everything. I decided that next time, I'm probably just going to hit back...

caliotter3 · Jul 18, 2012

I wish... The last time I got punched, i called the cops, filed the reports, and said I'd be willing to testify and swear out whatever, so they arrested him. A few weeks later, I hadn't heard anything about the case, so I called e city attorneys office and got the runaround. When I called a friend in the office, she told me that someone from my hospital called the city attorney and influenced him to drop the case because (to paraphrase) it would make the hospital look bad if we looked like we were a place where fights were just breaking out in the ER.
I gave the story to the media, the city attorney had no comment, the report no longer existed in their files, and my employer denied everything. I decided that next time, I'm probably just going to hit back...

Went through something similar. My employer made me into the bad person. To this day, if they have anything to say about me, it is to see that I can not support myself or my family. Like the saying, "A special place in Hell....."

brainkandy87 · Jul 18, 2012

I will sternly tell a patient to stop cussing if they are using the F word as much as they are using the word "and" or "the". If they begin to cuss AT me, I tell them they have two options: stop cussing at me and get treated or we can't treat you and security will escort you out. If they make a threat, it's instantly time for security.

As has been said, never get into a verbal altercation with a patient. It only leads to bad things. You might not get beaten up or anything, but remember that, while you might not remember the patient, they will remember you. And every now and then, one of these people snap and come back to the ER, except it's with a gun or a knife or some kind of weapon, just waiting to meet that person they got into it with last time. That's why I always try to talk a patient down, not have a verbal confrontation. There's a difference between acting confident, in control and trying to show how you're in control by yelling back.

My Mom was a nurse for twenty or so years and was attacked twice. The really bad one was when a patient with a history of mental problems and a TBI got behind her and cornered her when she was away from the door. He stabbed her in the leg and beat the hell out of her before someone finally heard her screaming. I always leave myself a way out in my rooms and never turn my back on any patient, just because of this story. The threat of violence as a nurse is very, very real, no matter what department you work in. We are definitely more at risk as ER nurses, as we have a diverse population and deal with many drug and alcohol related complaints. I had a guy threaten to kill me and nearly decked me in the face whose chief complaint was a migraine. Never get complacent. Always be on your toes.

marydc · Jul 18, 2012

I wish... The last time I got punched, i called the cops, filed the reports, and said I'd be willing to testify and swear out whatever, so they arrested him. A few weeks later, I hadn't heard anything about the case, so I called e city attorneys office and got the runaround. When I called a friend in the office, she told me that someone from my hospital called the city attorney and influenced him to drop the case because (to paraphrase) it would make the hospital look bad if we looked like we were a place where fights were just breaking out in the ER.
I gave the story to the media, the city attorney had no comment, the report no longer existed in their files, and my employer denied everything. I decided that next time, I'm probably just going to hit back...

Stories like this are common, but always scare and surprise me. Violence against staff isn't tolerated where I work. When I was assaulted the hospital supported me.

mrstmarie · Jul 18, 2012

Has anyone ever snapped while on the job? After all of the verbal abuse has anyone ever just gave back to the patient what they give to us? I did last night...all the threads I've searched no one has ever said they as the nurse responded aggressively. I'm just curious to hear the responses of others. My charge nurse was allll tooo happy to report it to the director and to tell the family to file their complaint... but when I got in to speak with the director he just said, it happens. Patients are always going to be mad and for me to just go home so I could get rest for work tonight... Really? In the age of customer service and just grin and bear it I expected more.
Just a little background, the 18 year old patient literally thought he was bleeding to death from his nose (vitals stable, no horrible frank bleeding, mainly dried blood from the pressure he was holding) and the doctor wasn't able to see him in 5 minutes of his arrival...EMS brought him in and he automatically got a room and I guess he thought he was in dire straits. He was also mad because guess what I was in another room and not in his giving him the magic pill he needed. He yelled he needed help now and I straight up told him, you're not dying, keep the pressure on it because it's working, the doctor knows you're here and he will see you soon. He cussed and started throwing stuff, his mother got angry and started getting hostile and I just told her they could either wait for the doctor or they could get up and go to another ER. She got angry and then I really went off...
How on earth can you stay sweet and kind all the time anyway? Sometimes therapeutic touch and all that mess just goes out the window and self-preservation kicks in...

I completely understand!! I work in a very rule ER, we had a 20 something yr old girl come in drunk the other night and in the midst of EMS giving report and her talking and cussing she asked one of my nurses what his name was and he asked her nicely to wait just a min he couldnt hear the medic and she kept getting louder and louder finally she said I have the right to know your name, and he turned around and snapped "You have the right to remain silent"...it was classic!! of course she didnt find it all that funny!!

lossforimagination · Jul 18, 2012

I only lasted a couple of months in a small town ER. That was more than enough. If you're livid when elderly people come in behaving like they own the place, yelling and complaining about everything and demanding to speak to the administrator....you know you don't have the patience for the really tough patients.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Jul 18, 2012

Stories like this are common, but always scare and surprise me. Violence against staff isn't tolerated where I work. When I was assaulted the hospital supported me.

Youa re very lucky....for that is often not the case.....take a peek at this thread

https://allnurses.com/nurse-colleague-patient/interviewing-after-assaulted-648799-page2.html and the story of what a friend of mine experienced......

Massachusetts Nurses Association - Health & Safety - Articles - Workplace Violence - In her own words: How ER assault has changed RN Charlene Richardson's life, work

pkateRN · Jul 20, 2012

hi folks, this is my first time posting here :)

I precepted in a public hospital ER, where we were the safety net and often last resort for many patients. I once had a patient who was probably 18 or so, told me he had a migraine, and this was his third ER today because no one would give him pain medication. I thought the whole thing was odd, but was instructed to start an IV, so I did. After getting the IV in, he told me he wanted to go out and smoke a cigarette. I was taught by the ER staff to never let a patient with an intact IV go out and smoke- drug use runs rampant here, and god forbid they'd leave with the IV, want to get high and shoot whatever drug straight through it. I explained to him that it was hospital policy that I could not let him leave with an intact IV- if he wanted to go outside to smoke, I would have to pull it, and he would have to re-register. After I said that, he screamed at me that I was worthless, and to go F myself. he then yanked the IV out and stormed out of the hospital. I didn't even have time to say anything back, but I don't think there was much I could have said. He obviously had deeper issues, and me going off on him wasn't going to make the situation any better.

On the other hand, I'm curious as to how people here would respond to a situation (that I would consider verbally abusive) with my preceptor. It was only the second code I'd ever been in the room for, and while the other staff were working on the coding patient, I was instructed to put a catheter in the patient. I had never placed one in a male patient before, so I asked for guidance from the nurse across from me while my preceptor was behind me scribing. After I told the nurse across from me that I hadn't put one in a male patient before, my preceptor says behind me, loud enough for the entire room of people to hear, "she is so young, I bet she's never seen a d*ck in her life." as time went on, she would yell at me in front of other staff members, and told me after running around with my head cut off for 12-16 hours, that I was not allowed to sit in a chair at all, because "only real nurses get to sit down to chart." I told my clinical advisor all this, who had a conversation with her- and my preceptor flat out told my advisor the reason she was so mean to me was because I was working toward my direct entry MSN degree, and she thought the degree was BS. I never said anything back to her, because she was in a position of power over me. I still wonder to this day if I was right to take the route I take with my patients- don't say anything nasty back, or if I should have stood up to her.

Novo · Jul 20, 2012

I 100% agree with OP. Maybe if more of us actually stood up for ourselves we would'nt be walked all over? I have zero tolerance for verbal abuse but I won't go off but instead call security to escort the offender(s) out.

Delete_Me_Please · Jul 23, 2012

He obviously had deeper issues, and me going off on him wasn't going to make the situation any better.

Sounds like his only issue was wanting an IV to make drug abuse easier... That, and being an *******, but the two are usually mutually exclusive. I have a personal policy that has served me well so far in my sixteen years..l never argue with someone who has to be convinced to seek health care (only exception being when we're legally required to). There is no reason whatsoever to waste your time trying to convince someone to get help when there are thousands of people waiting hours and hours for the chance of an ER bed to open up. Let them make their choice... You did the right thing by not taking it to heart. Just smile and show him the AMA form and you'll see him later.

As for, "she is so young, I bet she's never seen a d*ck in her life," i would have pulled her aside and ripped her about three new *******s, but that's me. That wasn't just abuse you suffered, but discrimination since Th basis for the attack was your age. A witty reply would have sounded something like "I have, just not in this age group. I figured that old memberes were more YOUR category."

TheCoppertop · Jul 28, 2012

I had one that unfortunately, I blew my top over. Yall don't need to shame me, I got lucky on this one but it is definitely my low point as a nurse. He came in, acting disoriented, stating in triage that he "took too many pills" we rushed him in thinking he was a methadone OD, then he corrected himself, see, throughout the past week he TOOK TOO MANY of his one month prescription, and now he was all out, and needed a refill! On and on and on it went. He was going to kill himself if we didn't give him narcs, but if we would medicate him, then he promised he wouldn't kill himself. We were slammed busy and had some terribly critical stuff going on. He was a longtime addict with no veins.. And he was just miserable, nasty, whiny, abusive... So numerous nurses tried to line and lab him, I go to draw at least labs with a butterfly, of course blew the teensy pinkie knuckle vein which was the ONLY vein I could remotely find. Blew it, pulled out the butterfly and held pressure. He whines "OWW you're hurting me! What IS THAT?"I replied "Its a f*^%#ing cotton ball!"HE ACTUALLY LAUGHED, and said "I like you!"I was just about to quit that job (it was bad) due to my s.o. Transferring out of state, had a much needed 4 month break and returned to ER nursing fresh and pleasant!