Verbal Abuse...I Gave What I Got...

WorriedNurse25 · Sep 14, 2015

When I speak back to the client using the same or similar tone to them that they are directing toward me, it is usually not long before they call my agency and I am out of a job. I have come to just assume that this will happen at X point in time, anyway, with or without, any less than pleasant conversations. I do not find it amusing that I am dealt with for the behavior exhibited by the patient and/or the patient's family. If the employer backed up their employees once in awhile, perhaps there would be a better workplace atmosphere all the way around.

I know this post is old but did you get back to working after you were terminated for verbal abuse?

I am an RN and im stuck now because of a mistake I made regarding my anxiety and emotions. I am scared to death I'll never be able to work again because it occurred in an LTC location...and that ill never be a nurse or anything ever again because it looks so bad on your records

Guest219794 · Sep 15, 2015

"Giving it back" to somebody who is inappropriate puts them in charge of the situation.

I work in an ER with a psych and drug treatment facility in the hospital. I am not a doormat and don't accept abuse. But arguing with an irrational person is just silly. And, even if somebody is inappropriate to me, being inappropriate to them would just be inappropriate, and would actually give them credibility.

MassED, BSN, RN · Sep 16, 2015

When I speak back to the client using the same or similar tone to them that they are directing toward me, it is usually not long before they call my agency and I am out of a job. I have come to just assume that this will happen at X point in time, anyway, with or without, any less than pleasant conversations. I do not find it amusing that I am dealt with for the behavior exhibited by the patient and/or the patient's family. If the employer backed up their employees once in awhile, perhaps there would be a better workplace atmosphere all the way around.

Who calls their patients "clients?" That is still being taught in nursing school? It isn't happening, let it go!!!!!

MassED, BSN, RN · Sep 16, 2015

Has anyone ever snapped while on the job? After all of the verbal abuse has anyone ever just gave back to the patient what they give to us? I did last night...all the threads I've searched no one has ever said they as the nurse responded aggressively. I'm just curious to hear the responses of others. My charge nurse was allll tooo happy to report it to the director and to tell the family to file their complaint... but when I got in to speak with the director he just said, it happens. Patients are always going to be mad and for me to just go home so I could get rest for work tonight... Really? In the age of customer service and just grin and bear it I expected more.
Just a little background, the 18 year old patient literally thought he was bleeding to death from his nose (vitals stable, no horrible frank bleeding, mainly dried blood from the pressure he was holding) and the doctor wasn't able to see him in 5 minutes of his arrival...EMS brought him in and he automatically got a room and I guess he thought he was in dire straits. He was also mad because guess what I was in another room and not in his giving him the magic pill he needed. He yelled he needed help now and I straight up told him, you're not dying, keep the pressure on it because it's working, the doctor knows you're here and he will see you soon. He cussed and started throwing stuff, his mother got angry and started getting hostile and I just told her they could either wait for the doctor or they could get up and go to another ER. She got angry and then I really went off...
How on earth can you stay sweet and kind all the time anyway? Sometimes therapeutic touch and all that mess just goes out the window and self-preservation kicks in...

I think learning how to navigate the multiple personalities sometimes of ER patients is an art. I do know that getting upset is not worth it. That being said, I do believe some people need a coming to Jesus moment. I believe you are correct in telling them they are not dying and the doctor knows about you and will be right in. It's more about the tone than anything. Of course we are only human, we get upset. It just does no good to let anyone get under your skin. It's a high burnout profession and you have to learn to let some things go or address them in a way that you can vent some of your anger without biting their head off. MANY patients just don't understand what the ER is, what we do, how we triage, why other patients are going ahead of them, blah blah blah. I find on a nightly basis that I am teaching people what the purpose of triage is, why others may go ahead of them, ambulances may have sicker patients than you (even though you believe you are really sick or are in pain, doesn't mean you're not sick, just not sicker than some others.) People actually get VERY upset about this in my experience, but oh well. It is a fact. I don't get upset about it. I haven't gotten reported (that I know about), but I believe it is our duty to inform the general public about how the ER works. The more you know, perhaps they will be less inclined to throw a tantrum. Don't let an ignorant, immature, selfish, impatient patient get you upset. Really, there's too much to do and actual sick patients who need you. Hang in there!

Karou · Sep 16, 2015

This is such an odd thread to get resurrected. The original post was started in 2012. Might be good to realize her before replying to years old posts...

JustBeachyNurse, LPN · Sep 16, 2015

Who calls their patients "clients?" That is still being taught in nursing school? It isn't happening, let it go!!!!!

Private duty nursing and home health refer to patients as clients. Caliotter was referring to patients/clients in HH/PDN.

To the one who resurrected the thread arguing with a client in private duty is not the same as raising your voice in anger in LTC/ALF. The client in PDN may be directly paying for services to the agency. This scenario did not result in a elder abuse investigation

Kooky Korky, BSN, RN · Sep 20, 2015

Has anyone ever snapped while on the job? After all of the verbal abuse has anyone ever just gave back to the patient what they give to us? I did last night...all the threads I've searched no one has ever said they as the nurse responded aggressively. I'm just curious to hear the responses of others. My charge nurse was allll tooo happy to report it to the director and to tell the family to file their complaint... but when I got in to speak with the director he just said, it happens. Patients are always going to be mad and for me to just go home so I could get rest for work tonight... Really? In the age of customer service and just grin and bear it I expected more.
Just a little background, the 18 year old patient literally thought he was bleeding to death from his nose (vitals stable, no horrible frank bleeding, mainly dried blood from the pressure he was holding) and the doctor wasn't able to see him in 5 minutes of his arrival...EMS brought him in and he automatically got a room and I guess he thought he was in dire straits. He was also mad because guess what I was in another room and not in his giving him the magic pill he needed. He yelled he needed help now and I straight up told him, you're not dying, keep the pressure on it because it's working, the doctor knows you're here and he will see you soon. He cussed and started throwing stuff, his mother got angry and started getting hostile and I just told her they could either wait for the doctor or they could get up and go to another ER. She got angry and then I really went off...
How on earth can you stay sweet and kind all the time anyway? Sometimes therapeutic touch and all that mess just goes out the window and self-preservation kicks in...

IF you really plan to preserve yourself, be polite. Make friends, not enemies. I'm not saying to let anyone throw stuff at you and I don't like being cursed at either. But use wisdom. Your boss might be less magnanimous if there's a next time.