**venting**

Specialties Private Duty

Published

I just got off the phone with the HH agency I work for as PDN. I was asked what shift did I want to work now that my FT is switching agency...?!?!. I had no idea my pt was switching, so I asked when is my last day and she says oh I thought you knew, don't show up again with that pt. The most frustrating part is my hubby, my income supports our family so it's upsetting when he starts on about I need to get a new case tonight and that I need to take whatever case they have available. He doesn't understand that the majority of the cases are pts who are complete assist, I'm 5'2" and 95 lbs I have a tough time repositioning patients who are way bigger than me. He doesn't understand it's not safe for the pt or myself and also he wants me taking high acuity cases. I've gone to the teach/vent training sessions and even after attending the ones work provides I don't feel confident in working those cases alone especially with a new peds trach pt. His thoughts are that I'm lazy and don't want to work those case. Ugh! I've gone to the "training" sessions and I just don't feel like I'll be prepared for an emergency. And I have covered a shift with an adult who had a trach and even though everything went well during the days I covered he was still too big for me to reposition on my own. I just wish hubby would be more supportive instead of just yelling that I need to find work now.

Specializes in Allergy/ENT, Occ Health, LTC/Skilled.

With 3 children I totally understand not wanting your kids in daycare. But I don't understands being with a man who yells women like their dogs. I would: get a job w/ steady paycheck (LTC/SNF, hospital, clinic), divorce dip ****, then apply for child support :) find a good daycare for your babes, there are quality ones out there that won't feel like they are stuck with strangers all day.

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

Just to address the "notice" issue. Agencies are notoriously lax in communicating information. Sometimes it's an oversight, and sometimes it's deliberate.

They care a whole lot about their periodic visits from surveyors, and are not terribly concerned about the fate of nurses unless they want something from you.

I've noticed that in some cases when the client switches agencies the nurses switch too, but this happens mostly with clients with lots of shifts to fill and nurses who have worked with that client for years, but those people generally discuss the change with their regular nurses.

PDN offers flexibility, but the trade-off is you are not guaranteed to have just the case/hours/days/distance when you want it.

Hope you're able to get this all sorted out with your husband!

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Specializes in PCCN.
With 3 children I totally understand not wanting your kids in daycare. But I don't understands being with a man who yells women like their dogs. I would: get a job w/ steady paycheck (LTC/SNF, hospital, clinic), divorce dip ****, then apply for child support :) find a good daycare for your babes, there are quality ones out there that won't feel like they are stuck with strangers all day.

Im sure it isnt just the time away. I cant imagine the exact cost now, but when I was just paying for my son, it was roughly 10bucks an hour that they charge. In op case its times 3:eek:!. shed be working one or more shifts just to pay childcare,that doesnt make sense.

She should tell hubs that they are going to have to both work now, and probably opposite shifts. Thats what we did, and still had to have some childcare, but way less.( I work B shift, he works A)

OP- tell hubs his "vacay" is over. Maybe find more steady work?

Good luck.

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Money issues are the biggest cause of stress in marriages. While I understand your frustration (been there), I understand your husband's frustration (worry) too. Sounds to me like you might do better to take a job at a facility with a predictable work load and hours

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Specializes in Home Health, PDN, LTC, subacute.

Can you switch to the agency they went to? I have heard of this happening.

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Specializes in Emergency, Trauma, Critical Care.
With 3 children I totally understand not wanting your kids in daycare. But I don't understands being with a man who yells women like their dogs. I would: get a job w/ steady paycheck (LTC/SNF, hospital, clinic), divorce dip ****, then apply for child support :) find a good daycare for your babes, there are quality ones out there that won't feel like they are stuck with strangers all day.

If she's sole income though, she'd likely have to provide him alimony and would get no child support. I know far too many women who got stuck in this situation.

To OP, I am in your shoes as the sole income provider, however I have guaranteed hours and don't think a PD position is the way to go. What about health benefits for you and your family? I imagine your husband is concerned about income, but not knowing what nursing entails he has no idea what's a safe job and unsafe job for a nurse. I'd try to find a clinic job with guaranteed hours/benefits where you would avoid most of the heavy lifting and such. There's case management, clinic, QA, etc. I'd try to stretch your horizons which might reduce stress for both of you.

Additionally, I get a lot of weird looks when I say hubby is SAHD. Frankly with the cost of childcare and how many bad experiences we've had with providers, I'd rather my kids be at home with someone I know. My husband worked very hard and I put him through a second career. He made a whopping 17$ an hour with no benefits, an hour drive both ways. High taxes and my income put us in the next tax bracket so after doing the math, it makes more sense for him to stay at home. You know what's best for you and your family, you just need to find a balance for you both, and hopefully a more stable position.

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Specializes in Critical Care.

Tell him to get a job. Why should you be the main breadwinner! If you divorce, instead of getting child support, you'll be paying alimony, looks like a lose, lose situation to me.

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Can you switch to the agency they went to? I have heard of this happening.

The case I'm on did this a few times. The nurses always knew way before the agency knew that they were switching because they wanted to keep staff that knew their child (and the complex background of the case). As long as there was no noncompete clause in the hiring process, then this is a possibility.

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Can you switch to the agency they went to? I have heard of this happening.

If the family switched agencies without even just giving me a heads up, much less asking me to follow the case, then I would not be eager to push myself on the family. If they respect the work that you do, they will ask for you. If they don't ask for you, there is a reason why, and you should take that to heart.

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Best wishes and support to you, sole supporter of the family. If people depend on you for anything, you're already someone that should be praised and valued. Hopes your husband will become more empathetic to your efforts. 5'2" and less than 100lbs is a small person that obviously needs help with large patients. I hope things work out for you!

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Specializes in Pediatric Private Duty; Camp Nursing.

All of you who are saying his vacay is over, get a job, he's the lazy one, etc. I say, he DOES have a job. Being a stay-at-home dad is as much work as being a stay-at-home mom. Remember the old cliche about housewives sitting around eating bon-bons while watching Oprah? Remember how offended we women get by that notion? Well, thinking this husband is a bum and is lazy is an absolute double standard.

I, too, work while hubby stays home. Our situation is a bit different, he has severe rheumatoid arthritis and is on disability, so he has a small amount of $ in benefits. However, he works very hard keeping our household running smoothly. He cares for the kids (tween-age), makes dinner every night, grocery shops, and cleans sometimes when he gets a break from a flare-up. He is a good man, he fights through the chronic pain and is my hero. I work overnights 5-6 nights/week and sleep until 3pm every day, and I sleep soundly knowing he's got everything under control.

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
I, too, work while hubby stays home. Our situation is a bit different, he has severe rheumatoid arthritis and is on disability, so he has a small amount of $ in benefits. However, he works very hard keeping our household running smoothly. He cares for the kids (tween-age), makes dinner every night, grocery shops, and cleans sometimes when he gets a break from a flare-up. He is a good man, he fights through the chronic pain and is my hero. I work overnights 5-6 nights/week and sleep until 3pm every day, and I sleep soundly knowing he's got everything under control.

Aww . . .he's a keeper, alright! Maybe you could bottle some of that and send it to the OP's DH? He's a SAHD who seems to be exhibiting an attitude problem . . . :eek:

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