Venting about classmates with families...

Dream2BANurse · Oct 17, 2008

Honestly, I feel I am a better student BECAUSE of my kids(compared to what I would have done before them)! I want this so I can give them a better future. My kids are what drives me to be the best student that I can be, if it weren't for them I probably would have given up long ago.

FireStarterRN, BSN, RN · Oct 17, 2008

It's kind of funny that many people joined this thread and started arguing about how NS (and everything else from what I have read), is harder with children. That they do have more problems, work harder, etc. Those posts just reinforce the OPs original post of how they are sick of hearing parents carrying about their lifestyle choices in class.
Same ol', same ol'....just happens to be online. :wink2:
Or to quote to get back to the original topic:
"Ok, I am getting sooooo sick and tired of my classmates thinking that just because I don't work, have kids, or a husband..I have no problems. When did having problems only become exclusive to family life......but its just mind blowing how many of my classmates have this ONE SIDED VIEW ON life, its almost sickening...."

The OP stated rather emphatically that she found the complaints of her fellow students who had children one sided and almost sickening.

Naturally, people with children might have a different POV and want to contribute that perspective here too, since this is an open forum and not limited to only one point of view.

RNKat23 · Oct 17, 2008

I agree with the OP that sometimes people can use their families/children as a scapegoat for a reason for bad grades, but I would just like to remind them that there are many who do not. I have a husband and four wonderful children (14, 12, 10, 6) who are very supportive, very helpful around the house or with child care. I can't imagine making this journey without them behind me. I have NEVER complained about my family creating problems for me, and am sitting fairly close to the top of my NS class. I work very hard, never compare my life to my friends in NS, and NEVER try to sell anything (I hate fund-raisers anyway). Of my four best buds in NS - two are not married/no kids, one is married/no kids, and one is married/1 kid. It's just not a big deal, and we're all very supportive to each other.

I also work PT in our local ER as a PCA and have always worked my share of holidays. If my kids are sick, I have back-up. If I'm working on Christmas, we celebrate the day before. I do not, nor have I ever, expect to be off just because "I have kids". I realize that family is important, and single people enjoy the holidays with their families just as much as anyone.

Just my :twocents: . Remember not to lump everyone together in one group - we're all different! :-)

LMRN10 · Oct 17, 2008

Well, this is just my opinion...

I certainly think that people who don't have kids or jobs can still have problems. Hey, we've all been there, so I know I had issues back then too. BUT, having been there and being where I am now, working full-time and having a 3 year old daughter, AND going to Nursing School, I can say with 100% confidence that it would be MUCH easier if I still lived at home with my parents and didn't have a husband, child or a job! Trust me! Somehow I find time to get everything done, but my stress comes from not having enough time to fit everything in and being stressed out with my family and co-workers because school is constantly on my mind. I want to be with my daughter more and can't because of school.

I think I feel comfortable enough saying this with such confidence because I HAVE been your age and I KNOW there are stressors, but it's a completely different thing when you add a child and a job and a husband and a dog and a Mortgage and Utilities...not saying you don't have a stressful life, just saying we are in two different areas of our life and maybe one day you'll understand the stresses of going to school while have a 3 year old who requires your attention constantly and a husband who only cares for her when your not home and having to listen to her scream and cry and carry on about nothing (just because she wants to) when you are trying to study and throwing temper tantrums....trust me...life with kids, whether your in school or not, is stressful!!!

Hang in there...we all have our own stresses and all on their own levels, but I guess my point is we've been where you are and you have yet to be where we are...no disrespect intended. FYI...prior to my daughter I nearly got divorced from my husband and had a breakdown, but still somehow made it through the semester (barely). I know it can be stressful prior to kids...

dee78 · Oct 17, 2008

I'm in the same position. I went to school right out of high school. I worked almost fulltime at the hospital. I had very little stress at that time. I got pregnant, still went to school fulltime, worked 7 days a week, had a deadbeat husband, and managed to keep my GPA up close to 4.0.

I knew my limitations, I can't imagine doing fulltime school, fulltime work, and trying to be a parent. So I've been going to school part time and working fulltime. First with just 2 young children and now with a 9,8, and almost 4 year old. It's a heckuva lot harder with kids than without. Now I'm taking my classes online, I took A&P this summer and had a very hard time juggling everything. I still managed a B but it did not come nearly as easily as the C when I took it right out of high school.

I understand that people don't want to hear others whining about their homelife and how hard it is. I will definately watch how I interact with my classmates so they don't see it as whining...but then most of my classmates are probably in the same boat that I am so we'll all just whine together about our hardships.

I love my cat! · Oct 18, 2008

I understand that people don't want to hear others whining about their homelife and how hard it is. I will definately watch how I interact with my classmates so they don't see it as whining...but then most of my classmates are probably in the same boat that I am so we'll all just whine together about our hardships.

See, I think it's perfectly ok to vent to one another about home life and hardships. I think it is a healthy part of NS and a way to connect.

I think what the OP was stating was that he/she is tired of listening to many parents always saying their lives are harder, when they really have know idea what the OP is experiencing in their personal life.

It's all subjective. It reminds me of the pain scale. Nobody is in the position to tell someone else that what they state they are feeling is less or more of something.

RNurseAng · Oct 20, 2008

Yes, we all have our own sets of problems, and yes, having children does complicate going to school... but despite the hardships, they are worth everything, and most mothers would tell you that they are back in school for their kids... to give them a better life. I don't think they need your pity; maybe they just need the opportunity to vent every once in awhile... isn't that what friends are for?

I love my cat! · Oct 20, 2008

I could argue on this thread until I am blue in the face. Most people posting do not seem to be "getting" what the OP was originally venting about.

I'm about ready to throw in the towel. The OP hasn't posted anymore anyway.

trepinCT · Oct 21, 2008

Parenting is one of those things you dont get until you are actually there..just like we knew nursing school would be hard, we heard the stories, we probably had friends who went through it before us, but until we got here, we really had no idea.

Bottom line- we need to support each other. We probably all complain - its not just the parents.

avahnel, ASN, RN · Oct 21, 2008

I am a first year ADN student. I must say, NS is hard!!! I do have two young girls one 4 and one almost 3. They really keep me busy, and in order to study, I have to use my mad time managment skills. :wink2: Being a parent (a good parent) means having to put someone elses needs above your own, and still taking time to make sure you take care of yourself so you can do a good job at being a "Super Hero Mommy (or Daddy) Nurse."

Whoever said that stress is individual, like the pain scale is correct. If a 15 yo is on the floor after a ORIF rates thier pain, it would be much different than a 35 yo woman after having her third child, or a 55 yo woman who never had children, but has Stage 4 breast CA. Each person is an individual. Don't judge, you do not know what they have went through to bring them to this point.

ohioln, RN · Oct 21, 2008

I lived alone for many yrs and I really dislike it when people say that I don't have any problems. How to do they know? Ever think of lonliness, people seeing you as vulnerable bec. you're alone, etc. What nerve! I agree that everybody has problems. We should all remember that and be nice to each other and take care of each other.

sparketteinok · Oct 21, 2008

You know for everyone to see over the fence is not easy.
You sound as you need to talk more about this. So do you have any resorces at school...i.e. student couseler or a favorite instructor you could go to talk to. Venting is great online but it may really help if you talked to someone, one to one
open1gate:banghead:

The truth of the matter is, there will always be people that will say, my kid's sick, my dog's sick, I can't work/study because my life is too demanding....etc. etc. etc. The bottom line is, life in general, especially nursing, is hard. Those that try to win the "my life is harder than yours" contest are just ridiculous. Amen to those who said we should support each other.

So, to the point I was trying to make- an old Native American saying says it best:

"Let me not judge my neighbor until I have walked a mile in his moccasins."

:wtosts: