I am a somewhat new nurse who got into nursing to help people. I love people, have always been a people person, and have always reached out to those in need. I feel terrible saying this, but I am getting to where I don't like people at all. I do have some patients who are really great, but I don't have time for them do to the obnoxious ones who hit the call bell every 15 minutes. And of course even though you know who it is, and what it is because you have dealt with it 12 hours a night for the last two nights you have to drop what your doing (even helping the quiet ones in need). If you don't then you will get in trouble from management for not answer your call lights within a timely manner. You get the folks who call for their narcs every 15 minutes even though you just gave them 20 minutes before, and aren't due them again for 3 1/2 hours, but you have to go in each time they call (right skippy now) because if you don't the light will escalate to a manger who feels pain is an emergency right after ABC, and you didn't respond. It doesn't matter that you haven't been able to care for the other 6 patients they have entrusted to your care, and there is absoultly nothing you can do but say its still not time which is would remember, but he is on Metodone, PCA Dilaudid, Lyrica, Norco 10's and screaming for more.
And woe is me they might complain. I am feel like I am a waitress, but instead of drinks I bring narcotics. The only difference is people would be arrested for treating a waitress for the way its acceptable to treat a nurse. Then you have the snooty horrible awful patients who feel they have checked into the Ritz for the weekend. They want their pillow fluffed, their apple sauce warmed, their feetsies tucked in. One women wanted to send me out to the whole foods store for her specialty brand of peanut butter. The fact that you have a post op who really is in need of care pales in comparison to the fact that they want lemon in their water.
And then their are the drama queens (usually young women, but occasionally women in their 30's 40's). They generally are surrounded by family 24/7. They call you in every 10 minutes because their head hurts, their tummy hurts, their feet are tingly, they feel constipated etc etc etc. Each call their is panic in their voice, and when you get to the room the family is gathered around the death bed, the tone is emergent, and Scarlet requires immediate assistance for whatever ails her. I can't believe it when someone has elective surgery (they chose to do it) and then they call me in and act amazed that whatever they had surgery on hurts. Even if common sense fails you I would think that would have been part of the Drs pre surgical education...it will hurt, and even with the best pain meds there will still be come pain.
And then you have the folks who call you in stating their pain is a 10 while laughing with family, eating ice cream, and complaining that the blankets are too thin. Really if your pain was a 10 you wouldn't give a rats behind about the blankets, would not be eating ice cream, and you certainly would be sincerely laughing and smiling like the day is long.
And management what is wrong with management. Really???? How can they be so far removed from reality? They have to know all of this is going on. Didn't they used to be nurses or at least work in some clinical capacity?
I really am starting to dislike people. This X-mas I didn't volunteer, didn't donate, didn't do anything. When I used to walk by a homeless man on the street I would give him a $ and want to do more. I would reach out, volunteer, and had a soft heart. Now it doesn't bother me at all. Is nursing making me a horrible person?
Is this a good time to sing Welcome To The Jungle ( Dose My best Axel Rose) Welcome to Nursing and it's not hating people it's being in demand. Think of them as Fan's. With out the money or the autographs or the pics. I feel for you i really do. All the words a stage and we are all players. These are my thoughts use them as you wish... Here's a Hugggggg for you and I'm not a hug type person
Cherry gave great feedback. I couldn't say it any better. All I can add is that the people who really want/need/appreciate you will make it all worth it. I was talking about this in a different thread recently, but the only consolation dealing with miserable people is that after your shift, you get to go home to your loving, hopefully functional family, and they are stuck in their dysfunctional nightmare of a life. Don't take them with you, in your car or in your head!
Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.
I had a lady that threw me a curve ball the other day- I thought I was helping her, coming in every two hours to peek in on her( i work nites) she would be sleeping. seemed pleasant in the beginning of the shift. Then I walk in to se her at 4 am- she tells sme she wants to see the mgr immediately. Im like " is there something wrong- what can I do to fix things for you- how can I help you?. she went on saying that this was the worst care she had ever had in her life. I was flabbergasted. she never put her call light on.never said anything when I would peek in on her. I was doing q2 vitals on her. I have no idea what set her off. Part of me thinks maybe cause she was elderly and maybe confused,but she had seemed very AOx3 prior.
I can't tell you how weird it was for me to read this. THIS EXACT SCENARIO happened to me as well. The patient (elderly woman) was fine all night, I was doing q4 vitals on her because she was post chemo. When I came in to do her 0600 vitals, she demanded to speak to the NM, saying that she had terrible care, and threatened to sue all of us. She told me to hand her the phone because she was going to call her lawyer first, then she was going to transfer her care immediately to another hospital. I talked to her for a minute, noticed that she was shaky, pale and not thinking clearly. I got the pulse ox on her...and yep. She was in the low 80s. Turns out she was having a silent MI. Women present so differently than the normal textbook classic signs that we are trained to catch. What a lesson learned for me!
I once had a patient (when I was a CNA) who demended that his Nurse leave a Code Blue to get him some pain med. I explained where she was & what she was doing, it didn't matter. So I told him I would go get her, and if he ended up in trouble & needed a Code called on him,and someone else needed thier pain med, I would be sure to take her from him to go take care of the other patient. His bell was ringing before I walked 1 door away from his room, when I went in he told me he would wait for his Nurse and to let her continue saving the other patient. SOme times you just have to tell it like it is. I was surprized I didn't get in trouble for that one.
Hello. I agree with the other writers that since you say you are a "somewhat new nurse" you may be in a temporary shock phase as you discover the serious time crunch for good nursing care. Many patients complain about their care because they feel bad and because they have no clue about the medical needs of the other patients for whom the professional nurse is also responsible---hearing such patient complaints when you are running hard to give good quality care can temporarily lead one to the feeling you described of "getting to where you don't like people". As others have written, your work world will get better as you gain experience--- you will learn to prioritize care tasks and to kindly educate your patients in order to meet your assigned goals on your work shift. Hang in there! Best wishes!
Welcome to nursing. One of the most challenging aspects of our work is maintaining our compassion and caring of others in the face of situations like you described above. Sometimes it helps me to remember that we see people at their very worst. And the ones that act out the most often have personal and personality issues that will continue to make them miserable long after they leave your care. We only have them for 8 hours(or 12, however you work your shift.) But they have to live with themselves forever. I feel sorry for some of the family members who have to go home and deal with these people indefinitely. Also, the same people that need attention so bad that they are not happy unless someone is in their room fawning all over them, must really have something missing from their lives. When you finish your shift, shake it off and be glad you have more personal peace and are less needy than they are.
And remember that, someday, you might be the patient and want your family, your nurse to hover, to reassure you frequently.
Why not first make sure that they are getting proper pain med orders? Some docs write terrible orders. God forbid you should pick up a phone and call the doc to say that is patient is still c/o pain and see if the dose increases or drug changes.
I think when we work with ugly, we get ugly ourselves. Not meaning you are ugly, just that you have become someone who doesn't like people because look what you are working with.
Ugh, I've been doing this job for over 14yrs now. People suck. Had a pt the other night, was having runs of V-tach, like 12-14 beats at a time...was scheduled for a cardiac cath in the am but the pt's doc hadn't ordered any labs...so when pt had a run of VT, I called the Dr...he ordered labs to be drawn on the pt, BMP, MG, CBC....so when the phleb came up to draw the pt's labs, the phleb missed twice. Pt then refused any further draws. I went in to explain to the patient why we needed these lab values, pt's heart was beating funny at times. Pt stated "I'm tired of being poked and prodded" and this pt has about 10 tattoos and an eyebrow piercing.
I was going to attempt venipuncture but after I put the tourniquet on...the patient was telling me where I could and couldn't make an attempt. SO I removed the tourniquet and told the patient that I'd get the AM pheb to draw the labs. The AM phleb was successful after one attempt. I went in to hold the pt's hand during the venipuncture.,,,all was well, or so I thought.
Well, when I came into work that night, I was told that the patient complained about me...said I was mean and I wasn't allowed take care of this patient!!!! Patient also complained about the mean nurse on day shift as well and that nurse was also not allowed to care for this patient.
****! You just cannot win with some patients and it's patients like this that make me want to go work at Walmart as a greeter!!!! The ones who hug you or tell you that you did a good job are few and far between! I take care of more "ugly" than nice. And it's frustrating!!!
I'm a nurse, I'm here to save your butt NOT KISS IT!!!
I was at Home Depot a while back and the cashier looked up at me and started crying, she said "you probably don't remember me but you were my nurse and I will never forget you" ...... She then told everyone in line behind me to "just wait a minute while I give this great nurse a hug" and she did. Everyone clapped. Just one thank you like that and you forget all the crap. Hang in and know you make a difference.
This is true. In my experiences with hospital stays, the nurses are the ones who kept me calm and eased my mind when I was embarrassed to death about needing to vomit or help with a bloody mess. I might not even remember if I saw their faces again like the cashier did, but I remember how I was treated by most of the nurses. There was one who weighed me in etc. every time I visited the OBGYN when I was a first time/terrified mother and she would always talk to me about school and things we had in common bc I was a student. I wanted her to be in the OR with me (c-section) and had to ask the doctor for her to be there. She is one I would recognize for sure and she said she'd never forget me bc it was the first time she got to be there for a surgery. Nurses don't get thanks as much as they should and in my personal experience, sometimes it was just bc I didn't see them again bc their shift was over and they were off or I checked out without seeing them again. I still remember though.
I found your post a bit difficult to read as some sentences didn't follow on well or make a lot of sense, so I hope I understood it all correctly.
There are some patients I have hated with a vengeance, I suppose we all feel like that occasionally.
Anyway, u have to realise this is all part of the job, as it is in many other jobs. U will probably have to toughen up a little and develop strategies for these types of patients. U can be firm but not rude, and you MUST set boundaries for the ones who are manipulating ur time. For example u can give them their pain killers, say 'I will be back in 30 minutes to check u to see if it has worked'. Also explain what they can & can't have within specific time periods. I take the medication chart to their room with me and explain it that way. If they're not happy with what is written up, it then becomes the Dr's problem. I don't drop everything to run to call bells either - if I'm in the middle of doing a medication, it can be dangerous as u can make mistakes. Believe me if something is really urgent, the patient will not take their finger off that bell, or they will be yelling the place down! Sometimes patients also have dementia or memory problems and keep ringing the bell or yelling cos they get confused as well.
U have to develop thick skin. I tell patients they are not the only person I have to care for - that I have 6 other people who need help, 5 post op patients with 15 min obs, whatever. Then they usually calm down a little.
It's all about good time management & being and acting like ur in charge - and that takes time and experience.
I have been a nurse for many years (37 and 1/2 to be exact) and I can honestly say that people have changed, in my opinion. Your "customer" is your patient! In teaching nursing, I have found students to be different also. Lots of students want the nursing degree to be handed to them. They don't want to work for it. Don't show up for class, complain constantly, "misbehave" in class or in clinical. The world is now a place of "entitlement". Patients think that because they are patients they have the right to be mean or demanding of nurses. I know I sound pretty jaded, but that's how I see it. Nursing isn't for everyone. Some people can let it roll off their back and not take it too personally. If you find that you are still feeling the same way in a few months, find a new line of work. Nursing isn' t the best nowadays.
People suck sometimes. I found that out this weekend getting cussed out by a patient that only wanted to see me if I was bringing narcotics....no vitals, no taking of other meds, no wound care, nothing but narcotics, otherwise get the f-bomb out of "his" (like it's his home) room.
KarmaWiseRaven
251 Posts
Is this a good time to sing Welcome To The Jungle ( Dose My best Axel Rose) Welcome to Nursing and it's not hating people it's being in demand. Think of them as Fan's. With out the money or the autographs or the pics. I feel for you i really do. All the words a stage and we are all players. These are my thoughts use them as you wish... Here's a Hugggggg for you and I'm not a hug type person