Using Shopping to Cope with Work

Another thing I enjoy doing is going on a drive when I get angry.  Just helps me forget about what's going on

Your coping mechanisms certainly aren't the worst choices, but shopping could work against you if you get yourself in financial difficulty. But do what makes you happy.

I like taking my dogs for a walk, reading a mindless book, singing to '80s music in the car, talking to my kids, or sitting by the water. 

Hoping that you have some better days ahead soon.

SilverBells said:

Another thing I enjoy doing is going on a drive when I get angry.  Just helps me forget about what's going on

Watch  Groundhog Day. Never drive angry,

Today, I left at noon to go to a yoga class.  I then returned to work for a bit,  and left early to go get a peppermint mocha and read

It's really a change from before when you talked about working 16-20 hour shifts to now routinely cutting out of work for shopping and yoga.  I know you  have a management position now, but don't you still have work that needs your attention.  Also as ADON don't you have a DON above you watching and concerned regarding all the times you have stepped out of the office?  Seems very strange to me.

In my last job, the clinic was across the street from Target. If things were stressful, I'd go over to Target on my lunch break, grab a pre-packaged salad for lunch, and buy a houseplant. This is what my window sill looked like by the time I started looking for other jobs.

Key phrase, though - ON MY LUNCH BREAK. Like, I was never gone for more than 45 minutes, and I always returned to finish my day.

brandy1017 said:

It's really a change from before when you talked about working 16-20 hour shifts to now routinely cutting out of work for shopping and yoga.  I know you  have a management position now, but don't you still have work that needs your attention.  Also as ADON don't you have a DON above you watching and concerned regarding all the times you have stepped out of the office?  Seems very strange to me.

Yes, I would agree that it is a change.   Ever since I got very sick with COVID, I've been trying not to overwork.  And at this point, I'm feeling unneeded at work, mostly due to the change in management.  Anytime I offer to do something, I get turned down or they suggest something else for me to do.  They've made changes that I don't care for.  Needless to say, these new people have not been a positive addition to the workplace.  

Lunah said:

Yoga is definitely an amazing outlet, I am a big fan. However, just wondering - are you putting your job at risk, even unintentionally, but leaving so much? Is this a passive way of getting fired? I know what you're doing is probably good for your mental health, but you might want to examine your motivations and start putting out feelers for a new job. Best of luck, as always!

I wouldn't say I'm necessarily trying to get fired, but, in some way, I think it's almost a way of protesting/rebelling against the new people and changes at work.   I'm no longer feeling needed at work.  Any time I offer to help with something, I'm turned down, or they suggest something else for me to do.   So, because they don't seem to respect my opinions or what I have to offer, I figure I won't be missed much if I step out for a bit. 

Silver bell, try to save your money, in order to get a better place to live. I've been reading your posts for awhile now and I feel as though you need a new job and a new start. Your family doesn't seem supportive nor do your co workers. Address your mental health by investing in a trip to your PCP. And I'm saying this with all the love I can say. Mental health is important. I hate how negative stereotypes perpetuate false ideas on how to effectively cope. If your blood pressure was 160/90 you would take lisinopril right ? Invest in your mental health, and remember you don't need anyone's permission to make yourself a priority! How can you take care of others when you're not taking care of you? Impulsivity (including impulsive buying ) is a negative coping mechanism just like gambling or drinking. Please take care, we're rooting for you! 

SilverBells said:

I wouldn't say I'm necessarily trying to get fired, but, in some way, I think it's almost a way of protesting/rebelling against the new people and changes at work. 

It's passive/aggressive behavior and it's a good way to get yourself fired even if you don't or won't recognize it