Unsupportive spouse?

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Anyone starting or in Nursing School and their spouse isn't supportive? My husband is trying to ruin me going to school from ever angle. Anyone else dealt with or dealing with this? He makes it nearly impossible for me to go to class without an argument and we have 3 children so he always uses them as an excuse.

This sets up so many alarms with me. I got married just out of high school, with both of us giving up scholarships so that we could stay together. The original plan was that each of us would help the other through school but it would be a one at a time thing. Since he had the better job I would go first. He quickly turned bitter about the fact that I was getting to go but he had to wait. He also constantly made comments on how I wasn't doing my wifely duties around the house, and complained to his parents about it. He especially hated the idea that when I graduated I would make more money than him, and that with a head start on him I would always make more. He started sabotaging my school work by distracting me or making demands and starting fights while I was working on it. My last straw was when he tried to accuse me of cheating on him with someone on the computer and yanking out the plug while I was working on an assignment. Be very careful OP. Unsupportive and bitter spouses can turn into roadblocks quickly and sometimes even abusive.

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Nope. I'm known for being analytical and calculating. On the hand, my younger brother is whiny mama's boy. I was taught early in life that showing unpleasant emotion was a sign of weakness. My brother was coddled while I being older was expected to "act right" at all times.

Granted, my dysfunctional mother took the wrong approach to child rearing, but so have you with the over-generalizations on gender.

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Nope. I'm known for being analytical and calculating. On the hand, my younger brother is whiny mama's boy. I was taught early in life that showing unpleasant emotion was a sign of weakness. My brother was coddled while I being older was expected to "act right" at all times.

Granted, my dysfunctional mother took the wrong approach to child rearing, but so have you with the over-generalizations on gender.

I have provided examples from science. So if you have issues, it's not with me. I provided examples in my life & from SCIENCE!

I won't be teaching my son to "be tough" or "boys don't cry". So no, I'm not over-generalizing gender. I'm going by what I have seen & provided.

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Honestly her post has many contradictions. One minute she can't take it anymore due to the abuse..next she is going to wait it out. Either you are abused and need to get away asap or you are not and are just making this thing up. What if you wait too long and can't get away?...that is if you are really being abused. It has been long enough and you should know by now. There are shelters everywhere.

It can be so much tougher than most people know. You get caught in this endless cycle of he really loves me and I love him and you start blaming yourself or make excuses and you're scared of what will happen if you leave. Will he hurt your kids or pets or destroy your things to punish you, or how will super conservative relatives treat you, and who will ever want you again. It's a horrible place to be and sometimes you are there, frozen from fear.

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I have provided examples from science. So if you have issues, it's not with me. I provided examples in my life & from SCIENCE!

I won't be teaching my son to "be tough" or "boys don't cry". So no, I'm not over-generalizing gender. I'm going by what I have seen & provided.

Ooooh, "SCIENCE!" That explains everything.:no: Help me understand how your generalizations about men are helpful to the OP? Your comment that men don't show emotion(because your husband doesn't) is what didn't ring true to me. I've seen men express emotion all of my life, my husband included.

Men often express themselves more through actions than words which is why OP's situation is so troubling.

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Ooooh, "SCIENCE!" That explains everything.:no: Help me understand how your generalizations about men are helpful to the OP? Your comment that men don't show emotion(because your husband doesn't) is what didn't ring true to me. I've seen men express emotion all of my life, my husband included.

Men often express themselves more through actions than words which is why OP's situation is so troubling.

Well considering you're a nurse & don't believe science, that troubles me..a lot. Well I'm gonna go by what you said & say that's YOUR experience.

I have supported my claim with articles. As a nurse that is what we are suppose to do, that is what we are taught.

As for the OP, she didn't give enough information about him. But if he isn't emotional then he isn't (if he is then he is). Men (most of the time) aren't emotional.

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Well considering you're a nurse & don't believe science, that troubles me..a lot. Well I'm gonna go by what you said & say that's YOUR experience.

I have supported my claim with articles. As a nurse that is what we are suppose to do, that is what we are taught.

As for the OP, she didn't give enough information about him. But if he isn't emotional then he isn't (if he is then he is). Men (most of the time) aren't emotional.

I was more mocking your capitalization of the word science, as if what you quoted was definitive -it's not. You didn't link any scientific studies, you linked an opinion piece from a blog.

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I was more mocking your capitalization of the word science, as if what you quoted was definitive -it's not. You didn't link any scientific studies, you linked an opinion piece from a blog.

I didn't know facts were opinions but, okay. The blog stated facts from research & psychologytoday is not a blog.

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I didn't know facts were opinions but, okay. The blog stated facts from research & psychologytoday is not a blog.

What exactly is your point? Any differences in male and female EQ is based on parenting style/ generational upbringing and culture.

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Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.

Remember "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"?

After perusing same, I was amazed to discover that, according to the book, my husband was from Venus and I was from Mars!

Which is just to say there is no hard and fast 'rule' about how men and women "are". We are each our own mix of qualities, even WITHIN the biological and psychological tendencies.

Abuse has no gender boundaries per se; anyone can be subversive, especially if they are unaware ( truly or perversely ) of the origin/reason for their behavior.

The problem is a brat is a brat is a brat, until they run into their own personal brick wall, and even then there is no guarantee their behavior will change.

That's my 2 cents.

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
What exactly is your point? Any differences in male and female EQ is based on parenting style/ generational upbringing and culture.

My point was that I didn't just google anything, I had facts. So apparently there is a basis to my statements.

Well that's a whole 'nother conversation...

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Specializes in hospice.
What exactly is your point? Any differences in male and female EQ is based on parenting style/ generational upbringing and culture.

Eh, tabula rasa has been fairly well discredited. We are all a mix of biology and social environment. Gender differences are neither 100% biological nor 100% cultural.

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