I'm the weekend supervisor in a LTC/Rehab facility. We are 75% rehab so dealing with unbelievable family members is par for the course. but last night....i had one that just took the cake!
I'm walking around the desk when this woman, about my age...well dressed...looked like someone that would have common sense and "know how to act in public" type person. until she opened her mouth anyways...
she walks straight up to me, got right in my personal face and put her nose about 2 inches from mine screaming "I dont want my mother to have any pain medicine!! She's immune to pain!"
um..ok. btw...who's your mom? lol. doncha love it when people yell at you about their loved one but dont tell you who or what room? yep, i can read your mind.
anyhoo...smile plastered on my face I attempt toget the the details of what we were talking about. she keeps yelling at me that she cant believe we offered her mom pain medicine! then she tells me "some woman came in the room last night and actually asked my mom if she was in pain and did she need anything!! icant believe yall would ask that!!" (i swear i'm not making this up)
i say "ma'am. we are a rehab center. therapy often causes pain and our nurses always ask the patients if they need any pain meds or if they are in pain because many times older patients dont want to 'bother' us by asking for pain meds"
she says "are you kidding me? you really ask people if they are hurting?? thats just setting people up for trouble and thats terrible nursing!!!"
(pick your mouths up of the floor people...i swear i'm not making this up,lol)
so then she says "well my friend is a nurse and she said you shouldnt be asking people if they are in pain"
I couldnt resist a little sarcasm at this point. indulge me, it was just a little, lol. so i tell her "ma'am, actually pain is considered the 5th vital sign by joint commission so it is something we not only ask people every night, but we ask them every shift and many times during the day and if your friend who is a nurse is not doing that with her patients then she is not assessing them properly as ALL nurses are supposed to assess pain level as it is as important as taking a blood pressure"
(heck, i was proud for ONLY saying that,lol)
so then she proceeds to start yelling at me and saying (all the while, almost nose to nose with me...despite me continually backing up until my back was up against the desk) saying..."my mother is immune to pain!" and telling me how her mother never hurts and we will NOT ask her if she hurts. (btw..her mom has in fact asked for pain meds because she was IN PAIN, lol)
so on and on she goes until she starts saying "she even broke her thumb and when i grabbed it like this and pulled as hard as i could it didnt hurt her!" and as she said that, she grabbed my thumb on my right hand and proceeded to pull it as hard as she could. she pulled it so hard it actually popped! and then she continued to hold onto it as hard as she could saying "i did that and it didnt hurt her!!!"
I said "ma'am, that might not have hurt your mom but it is darned sure hurting me and take your hands off me right now!"
(i told, i am not making this up, lol)
she looked at me like i'd offended her and didnt even apologize.
i ended up telling her it would be my pleasure (thats what we are supposed to say,lol) to let the NP know in the morning that she'd like the pain meds d/c'd. she then says "i do not have the time to come wait on her so you just have her call me so i can tell her how my mother doesnt feel pain ever". i just smiled and said "i'd be more than happy to leave her that note":D and i did! shoot, i wanted to tell her if her mom was immune to pain she was a medical miracle and i was telling everyone! not just the NP. lol, but i didnt. she'd allready tried to pull my thumb off...i didnt know what she'd do next,lol. oh, she also had pointed her finger in my face and hit my nose with her finger too during her tirade.
everyday that i think it cant get any worse with family members...somebody comes along and proves me wrong.
can yall believe this? anyone else meet this woman or someone like her?
and can anyone tell me in what other career something like this could happen? somewhere where people think it is perfectly fine to come into a facility and act like this and in the eyes of the law, literally assault someone and it be perfectly fine?
Like someone else mentioned, my " favorite " is the family who sits in the room 24/7 and writes everything down. As soon as you go into the room they ask for your name and what time you start and end your shift. Even had one $#@&* ask me how long I'd been a nurse!
I especially love it when the family goes into another patients room just to ask me a darn question or ask me for something. Especially when they can see I am caring for someone else. I am pretty quick to tell them that is inappropriate and I don't care if they write that down. They can use the call light just like everyone else. Sorry for the vent. ( I am actually polite about it but firm )
Back to the OP, holy cow!!! After I picked up my jaw from dropping I thought about some of the families I have encountered. But that really was inapprproprite behavior of her. Did you file an incident report? LOL, but I did not read through all of the posts. I am curious to know what your facility did so this won't happen again.
I believe you made a call to APS or Social Sevices. Did they come?! I would call again if they haven't made a visit because this situtation needs attention especially if your lame employer keeps doing nothing. Keep documenting everything and make sure you have a paper trial back to your CN, Risk Management, etc. so when they do sue no one can deny they weren't aware.
And I'm glad you are still treating the patient's pain. Her daughter and her "nurse" friend are morons.
I believe you made a call to APS or Social Sevices. Did they come?! I would call again if they haven't made a visit because this situtation needs attention especially if your lame employer keeps doing nothing. Keep documenting everything and make sure you have a paper trial back to your CN, Risk Management, etc. so when they do sue no one can deny they weren't aware.
And I'm glad you are still treating the patient's pain. Her daughter and her "nurse" friend are morons.
i agree...lol, morons.
when i said my facility did nothing...i meant they did nothing for ME.
there is still an active investigation about possible abuse by the daughter of the patient. SS, the admin, APS, the ombudsman, DON are all involved and for that i'm very happy. i'd hate to have to kill crazythumblady for abusing her mother.
i could too...AND i know how to hide a body
but as for me, they have nothing to protect me from crazythumblady. not that they would really need to..it's just the principle at this point, no?
Oh, yeah, gotta love the recorders although I haven't seen any in a while. When they start writing down my name I make sure they see me write down their's as well, and I make a big show of checking the chart for release of information documentation.
I usually enjoy talking to people who have nursing experience about their background and training. It seems to lower their guard (not always of course) and sometimes I even learn something. It cracks me though when the so-called nurse is a veterinary assistant or some such thing.
A couple of years ago we had a family who thought they were going to video tape the staff administer care. For once the administration said NO.
but as for me, they have nothing to protect me from crazythumblady. not that they would really need to..it's just the principle at this point, no?
Sad but not surprising as often staff is lend to fend for themselves. I'm happy they are investigating for the good of the patient. If she ever lays so much as a fingertip on you again just leave the room and call the police and proceed to press charges.
Sometimes when people claim to be "nurses" and they give idiotic advice I am leery if they really are a nurse or they just like to pretend they are.
I agree with what Batman24 has been saying. I am glad to know the patient's daughter is being investigated. Like it was said before, call the police next time, esp if your facility is not providing you with a safe place to work. I hope things get better for you and the situation resolves for both yourself and the patient.
"I believe you made a call to APS or Social Sevices. Did they come?! I would call again if they haven't made a visit because this situtation needs attention especially if your lame employer keeps doing nothing. Keep documenting everything and make sure you have a paper trial back to your CN, Risk Management, etc. so when they do sue no one can deny they weren't aware.
And I'm glad you are still treating the patient's pain. Her daughter and her "nurse" friend are morons.
Sad but not surprising as often staff is lend to fend for themselves. I'm happy they are investigating for the good of the patient. If she ever lays so much as a fingertip on you again just leave the room and call the police and proceed to press charges." [ quote from Batman24 ]
shoot, i wanted to tell her if her mom was immune to pain she was a medical miracle and i was telling everyone! not just the NP. lol, but i didnt. she'd allready tried to pull my thumb off...i didnt know what she'd do next,lol. oh, she also had pointed her finger in my face and hit my nose with her finger too during her tirade.
grace90, LPN, LVN
763 Posts
start eating fresh, raw garlic cloves before each shift, and if someone gets in your face like that again, breath with your mouth open
