I'm the weekend supervisor in a LTC/Rehab facility. We are 75% rehab so dealing with unbelievable family members is par for the course. but last night....i had one that just took the cake!
I'm walking around the desk when this woman, about my age...well dressed...looked like someone that would have common sense and "know how to act in public" type person. until she opened her mouth anyways...
she walks straight up to me, got right in my personal face and put her nose about 2 inches from mine screaming "I dont want my mother to have any pain medicine!! She's immune to pain!"
um..ok. btw...who's your mom? lol. doncha love it when people yell at you about their loved one but dont tell you who or what room? yep, i can read your mind.
anyhoo...smile plastered on my face I attempt toget the the details of what we were talking about. she keeps yelling at me that she cant believe we offered her mom pain medicine! then she tells me "some woman came in the room last night and actually asked my mom if she was in pain and did she need anything!! icant believe yall would ask that!!" (i swear i'm not making this up)
i say "ma'am. we are a rehab center. therapy often causes pain and our nurses always ask the patients if they need any pain meds or if they are in pain because many times older patients dont want to 'bother' us by asking for pain meds"
she says "are you kidding me? you really ask people if they are hurting?? thats just setting people up for trouble and thats terrible nursing!!!"
(pick your mouths up of the floor people...i swear i'm not making this up,lol)
so then she says "well my friend is a nurse and she said you shouldnt be asking people if they are in pain"
I couldnt resist a little sarcasm at this point. indulge me, it was just a little, lol. so i tell her "ma'am, actually pain is considered the 5th vital sign by joint commission so it is something we not only ask people every night, but we ask them every shift and many times during the day and if your friend who is a nurse is not doing that with her patients then she is not assessing them properly as ALL nurses are supposed to assess pain level as it is as important as taking a blood pressure"
(heck, i was proud for ONLY saying that,lol)
so then she proceeds to start yelling at me and saying (all the while, almost nose to nose with me...despite me continually backing up until my back was up against the desk) saying..."my mother is immune to pain!" and telling me how her mother never hurts and we will NOT ask her if she hurts. (btw..her mom has in fact asked for pain meds because she was IN PAIN, lol)
so on and on she goes until she starts saying "she even broke her thumb and when i grabbed it like this and pulled as hard as i could it didnt hurt her!" and as she said that, she grabbed my thumb on my right hand and proceeded to pull it as hard as she could. she pulled it so hard it actually popped! and then she continued to hold onto it as hard as she could saying "i did that and it didnt hurt her!!!"
I said "ma'am, that might not have hurt your mom but it is darned sure hurting me and take your hands off me right now!"
(i told, i am not making this up, lol)
she looked at me like i'd offended her and didnt even apologize.
i ended up telling her it would be my pleasure (thats what we are supposed to say,lol) to let the NP know in the morning that she'd like the pain meds d/c'd. she then says "i do not have the time to come wait on her so you just have her call me so i can tell her how my mother doesnt feel pain ever". i just smiled and said "i'd be more than happy to leave her that note":D and i did! shoot, i wanted to tell her if her mom was immune to pain she was a medical miracle and i was telling everyone! not just the NP. lol, but i didnt. she'd allready tried to pull my thumb off...i didnt know what she'd do next,lol. oh, she also had pointed her finger in my face and hit my nose with her finger too during her tirade.
everyday that i think it cant get any worse with family members...somebody comes along and proves me wrong.
can yall believe this? anyone else meet this woman or someone like her?
and can anyone tell me in what other career something like this could happen? somewhere where people think it is perfectly fine to come into a facility and act like this and in the eyes of the law, literally assault someone and it be perfectly fine?
we have a new pt. joy, joy...she's an RN. she is still working and does OR nursing. this morning we had a pt die. i was in the room with the nurse on the hall talking with the wife and family and pronouncing him gone. this crazynursepatient got mad because she had to wait 10 minutes on her morning meds and pain pill. she had her husband call the DON and he raised T total hell! when i got a chance a few min. later, i took her meds to her. god, what a beech! i had to lissn to her tell me how the nurses are idiots and cant do anything right..blah blah blah. it took everything i had not to ask her how she'd feel if I treated her this way at her hospital. she also raised immortal hell because she has no cell phone service at our facility. we are out in the country and many carriers dont have service out that far. i asked her what it was she wanted me to do about it. she wanted to know why we couldnt have an antennae of some kind built so people could have cell phone service. i swear to God she did! i told her i'd be more than happy to take her complaint and suggestion to the administrator, lol.
I am a previous social worker and new nurse. I would have referred this patient to Adult Protective Services, especially if the patient lives with this ignorant daughter!!
I too have a boatload of crazy families!!! "My mom is special, she needs more time than any of these other people", like my other 27 residents are lowlifes and "Mom" is queen. Funny thing though, her mom is a sweetie who doesn't act like that at all (thank god). This daughter will call in the middle of the med run-and she knows when we are busiest-and will drone on and on about some internet article that she came across blah blah blah acting like she has a medical degree 'cuz she can google saying "I know yer busy but..." and then faxes 28 pgs of nonsense that she expects us to read, "share with the doctor" , and post in the med room. This happens ALL the time with her...and she is actually one of the more tolerable ones!
I too have a boatload of crazy families!!! "My mom is special, she needs more time than any of these other people", like my other 27 residents are lowlifes and "Mom" is queen. Funny thing though, her mom is a sweetie who doesn't act like that at all (thank god). This daughter will call in the middle of the med run-and she knows when we are busiest-and will drone on and on about some internet article that she came across blah blah blah acting like she has a medical degree 'cuz she can google saying "I know yer busy but..." and then faxes 28 pgs of nonsense that she expects us to read, "share with the doctor" , and post in the med room. This happens ALL the time with her...and she is actually one of the more tolerable ones!
This might be a situation for an intervention with the doctor and staff. We are glad you are involved with your mother's care, we appreciate the articles. In the future, please have them copied and present them to the front desk and the secretary will make sure the DON gets it. DO NOT CALL when you know we are the busiest; you don't want your mom to get her meds late because of someone else's nonemergent call.
One of the hospitals I worked in had a patients' bill of rights AND a patients' bill of responsibilities that included guidelines for pt. and families. Perhaps this is what we ALL need to go back to...with signatures.
How thoroughly brilliant! What evil genius! :chuckle
it's great, isnt it? lol
crazythumblady visited all day sat and sun. joy joy joy!
she came to the desk once and i was on the telephone. she stood there and drummed her nails on the counter until i got off. so i talked extra long! i was talking to a family member and i just kept encouraging her to talk more, lol. it felt great! crazythumblady was so ******, lol.
today she comes to me at the desk...she walked right up and got right in my face again. i turned around and walked all the way around the desk and made her talk to me from there. who knows what she'd try to pull of this time! lol.
we have a hair dresser that comes in on fridays but she isnt employed by us so you have to make the appt with her and pay her directly. staff is not allowed to take the money. she has a price list on the door so they can leave checks for her. so she demands "i want my mothers hair done on friday". i tell her to schedule it with the hair dresser and she says "i dont have time to come over here so you do it". i loved it, i said "nope...you gotta do it" yall shoulda hear how she TOLD me to have it done. i so enjoyed telling her no.
our activites director is a little old lady and on thursdays she paints nails for any patient that wants it done. so then crazythumblady says "i want her nails done thursday and tell her to cut them short but let my mother pick the color". she went on "tell the manicurist this...tell her that.." i was like "you DO realize she is not a manicurist right? she's just a lady that paints nails..thats it" haha that ****** her off too!
w t **** does she think we are? a spa??
this woman is unbelievable!!!!
she took her mom outside today because it was gorgeous. i caught her trying to come in an emergency door that has an alarm on it because it was a shortcut to the room. THERES A HUGE RED SIGN ON IT THAT SAYS EMERGENCY EXIT ONLY! and then she had the nerve to knock on the glass because she couldnt get in! so it was my pleasure (we are supposed to say that, lol) to walk down the hall and tell her thru the door that it's an ER exit only...and i pointed to the sign right in front of her face! i had to go to the bathroom and laff to myself, lol. cracked me up!
"The 5 big tall guys were the patients' sons. All line-backer sizes. While we were rally up staff to lift the patient, the line-backer sons could have effortlessly pulled their mother up in bed."
In my facility, as well as most I know, this is absolutely forbidden. What if they hurt their back or at least said they hurt their back doing it? BIG time lawsuit there.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
"the 5 big tall guys were the patients' sons. all line-backer sizes. while we were rally up staff to lift the patient, the line-backer sons could have effortlessly pulled their mother up in bed."
in my facility, as well as most i know, this is absolutely forbidden. what if they hurt their back or at least said they hurt their back doing it? big time lawsuit there.
it's the same at every facility i've ever been with -- and i'm constantly surprised by how many of my co-workers don't seem to know that!
it's the same at every facility i've ever been with -- and i'm constantly surprised by how many of my co-workers don't seem to know that!
me too. when i work, i'm constantly aware of liability because i don't want to be sued. it constantly suprises me the numbers of staff that don't give it a second thought and encourage family members to help.
We should take this opportunity to write our elected officals to demand that assault on helthcare providers carry the same punishments as for law enforcement. We are in the line of fire too & need to get vocal about it. Admin is not going to change the "customer is always right" stance because they are not in danger.
shoot, i wanted to tell her if her mom was immune to pain she was a medical miracle and i was telling everyone! not just the NP. lol, but i didnt. she'd allready tried to pull my thumb off...i didnt know what she'd do next,lol. oh, she also had pointed her finger in my face and hit my nose with her finger too during her tirade.
southernbeegirl, BSN, RN
903 Posts
we have a new pt. joy, joy...she's an RN. she is still working and does OR nursing. this morning we had a pt die. i was in the room with the nurse on the hall talking with the wife and family and pronouncing him gone. this crazynursepatient got mad because she had to wait 10 minutes on her morning meds and pain pill. she had her husband call the DON and he raised T total hell! when i got a chance a few min. later, i took her meds to her. god, what a beech! i had to lissn to her tell me how the nurses are idiots and cant do anything right..blah blah blah. it took everything i had not to ask her how she'd feel if I treated her this way at her hospital. she also raised immortal hell because she has no cell phone service at our facility. we are out in the country and many carriers dont have service out that far. i asked her what it was she wanted me to do about it. she wanted to know why we couldnt have an antennae of some kind built so people could have cell phone service. i swear to God she did! i told her i'd be more than happy to take her complaint and suggestion to the administrator, lol.