I'm posting a follow-up post to the last one. So my supervisor gave me a verbal warning in the form of a letter that detailed my various workplace sins. These included asking for too many days off, leaving early, arriving late, forgetting to pick up a blood sample, not using an interpreter, and being disrespectful.
Asking for too many days off: For December I took a nice 2 weeks of taking advantage of the holidays and just asked for some days in between. I was going through some medical stuff which caused me to at times ask for a day off at the last minute (2 days before the appointment for instance.)
Leaving early: This didn't happen as often, perhaps 3 times at most and always by checking with my supervisor. Granted this happened without advance notice and when I did leave it was due to medical appointments.
Arriving late: My start time was 6:30 am (a start time she said she never approved but nevertheless used it as a point of reference to count how many hours I arrived late on 3 occasions.) Once I arrived at 9:30 because I overslept having been up all night coughing a lung out. I was going to call out but decided against it. The other time my car refused to start and I ended up taking another car. I arrived at 8:45. The third time I had gone to a doctor's appointment and got there at 9:30. There was hardly anyone at the office because that particular day we had a department wide meeting. The fourth time I had another appointment and I got there around 8:20. All these times she knew about. All with 3 to 4 days notice beforehand. In her warning letter she stated that my team had suffered because of my tardy arrivals. I tried to confirm this with my co-workers and they were like "no, we were fine."
Anyway she agreed that we would meet again in 3 weeks to see if any improvement that been made. Well the date came around and that morning I asked her "so what time are we meeting today?" and she replied "Well it turns out that the HR director can't come today so we will reschedule it." She didn't give me a date and I left it at that. Mind you she's involved 3 other supervisors besides her.
At any rate we met a couple of weeks ago for the second time at which point she pointed out 2 times in which I arrived late. One happened because I missed the commuter bus and it only leaves every 45 minutes so of course I arrived 40 minutes late when I was supposed to arrive 40 minutes early. That same day that I arrived late I told her that the commuter bus left at 3:30 but that I was going to stay until the next one left, around 4:15. So she was like fine, but I could tell she wasn't too happy about it. She and I were working off site at that time and she's used to staying behind and having someone else bring back the blood samples to our main job site for processing. Since she had told me at the last minute that I was to work with her that day, I didn't make arrangements for someone to pick up my kids so that's why I ended up taking the commuter bus. At any rate she gave me a choice on two tasks and asked which one I wanted to work on. I picked one and she said that she'd do the other one and left to go work on it. Well I finished my task and asked her if she wanted me to do anything else, then she asked me to do the task that she was supposed to do. So I ended up doing both. She said that it was fine I could go so I did.
Anyway to make a long story short she wrote me up for the above mentioned things that also included not using an interpreter. She had earlier that day advised me to not walk into a non-English speaking patient's room b/c there was no interpreter. Of course I forgot and walked into his room, quickly realized that I shouldn't have done that and excused myself and left. Well she included this in her write up.
I feel like she wants me to be absolutely perfect and that there is no grace/understanding. So I decided that the next step would probably be me being fired so I asked HR what was the minimum leave of notice so as not to be blacklisted from the institution. They said 2 weeks, so I gave my 2 weeks notice. This job provides great benefits and I'm going to miss that. Thinking back I don't know if it would have been better to ask for a transfer and now perhaps it's too late. I have 2 weeks left on that job. A job that I enjoyed very much. My sister pointed out that I worked very hard to go through nursing school full-time while having kids and how I basically let it go for a difficult person.
No one seems to understand where I'm coming from except for my husband. He's heard me complain about this lady for months. He knows that I tried to get along with her. It seems that the perfect person for that position is someone who is used to putting their family in second place. Someone who is dedicated so much that they would spend 12 hours in one day if needed.
I used to work on the floor so I came from having 4 days off to working 5 days in a row. It was a huge adjustment. I supposedly took the job to have more time for my family but it turned out to not be the case. Where before I was spending 4 days with me kids now it was less. I earned more yes but the work was intense. I enjoyed it though. But having that supervisor was like tasting vinegar.. it didn't help to know that I didn't even have to be there. Hubby sometimes earns in one day what I earn in a month so I wasn't doing it for the money..
Now that this has happened I'm taking a step back and thinking about my choices. I've been thinking about preparing for the GRE and possibly starting school later this year. Or maybe working in another specialty, perhaps ICU.. I'm basically here to vent and to get feedback/advice. I have loans to pay off and not working right now would put them on hold but still their balances loom over me. I've paid a good bit off but I took out several.
Please don't tell me in your replies that you did your nursing degree with little to no debt, because saying that would help me how...??
It sounds to me like she wants you to show up when you're supposed to and do your job. That doesn't seem like an unreasonable expectation to me. Maybe I'm missing something.
I agree.
I deleted my original post. You have to take care of people, patients, and put them first for 10-12 hours during your shift. Doesn't matter if your car won't start, doesn't matter if the kids are sick, and if you are having issues, it's time to let someone who can do the job take over. Nursing isn't about you, it's about the patient. Be on time, give your time, clock out and go home. It's that simple.
Again, this makes sense to me as well. If the OP can't met the obligations of taking a job, the OP needs to not take the job.
I don't know how long you were working there but you do seem to have excessive late days. While you always have your excuses, management doesn't care they just want you there. Maybe they will let it go once or twice for an emergency but when it becomes a pattern and by hours not minutes I can see why they were upset. As to asking for too many days off that seems petty they could simply say no to you and that would be the end of the issue. As to leaving early again it depends on the place, where I work it counts as half a sick day, although they don't enforce it for nurses so far, but they do for CNA's. Are you hourly or salaried? Regardless you have to go along with their policies.
It sounds like you don't get along with the manager who appears to be trying to fire you so giving your notice was probably the best choice. Were you in a small office setting from being in a larger hospital setting? I work in a hospital where it is more impersonal and you can go a month without working with someone and I fear if I worked in an office setting where you see the same people each day if someone didn't like you especially a manager it could become more of problem. Interpersonal conflicts and cliques can combine when you are working with the same group of people daily. Part of it was probably a personality conflict and part of it was your "sins" coming in hours late and leaving early, but it seems obvious she is gunning to get rid of you if she is involving other supervisors and HR so your best bet was to look for another job.
It probably would have been better to find a job and then give notice but what's done is done. When you are still working you can ask other employers not to contact your current employer, but now that will no longer be an option. Will they put you on the no hire list now since your supervisor wanted to get rid of you for your "sins"? If it is a large system that could make it harder for you to find another job.
I think it is silly to dismiss your supervisors concerns as jealousy because you are married. I find it funny that you are married to this wonderful well paid husband and that you don't have to work for the money, yet your answer to your student loans is to put them in deferment/forbearance since you aren't working. If he is such a wonderful husband why isn't paying off your student loans a joint affair where he would help pay them off? He doesn't sound as great or supportive as you claim if he is willing to let your student loan interest compound and loans grow larger because you aren't working. While the loans are in your name as a married couple it should be a joint issue of paying them off I would think! I would hesitate to take out even more student loans and going back to school if this issue isn't worked out first! If you have such a wonderful marriage wouldn't you guys work together to pay off all debt and save for retirement, etc jointly planning for a joint future?
Other married nurses feel free to let me know how this issue plays out in your family? I'm single so this is just my take on it. Many times a nurse here says her husband makes more and they don't need the money, but where I work many married nurses are the main breadwinner so curious what other people think about this. FYI what I do know is that if you are married income based repayment is based on both your incomes and if the loans aren't paid by the time you retire your social security can be garnished.
Getting off the subject the Texas Rangers just arrested a man over a small amount of unpaid student loans from decades past and they say they are planning to do this with many others in the near future! It just shows how serious student loan debt has become in America where there are virtually no bankruptcy options with student loan debt. I'm just surprised by how cavalier so many people are about taking on student loan debt. If you are married and have home equity, a home equity loan might be a better option, with a lower interest rate and fully tax deductible and you wouldn't have to look over your shoulder for the rest of your life. Just saying!
As a single woman I'm not jealous of my married coworkers. lol Even if their husbands were high paid, most aren't, a few don't even work, lol. In truth if they were so highly paid why are the married nurses working? They could just be doing volunteer work for a cause they believe in or traveling or planting flowers or raising their kids and spending time with their family.
OK well maybe I am a little jealous, ha ha of the social security options married folks have that us single folks don't have. Although the file and suspend option is now being closed by a behind the scenes agreement with Congress without public debate so you married folks won't be making out so much more than us single ones anymore. Sorry folks! To those unhappily married if you are close to ten years stick it out because once you are married after ten years you can still get spousal social security if you divorce and don't remarry till later in life 60 something check the social security rules.
Frankly I like being single and I'm sure many other singles would agree with me when we have unmarried adult women at a record rate in this country there must be a good reason why! I think we singles make up a new majority in this country. I prefer my freedom, ability to do what I want when I want from travel to sleeping to hobbies etc. No one to please but me and no one to answer to or question me! Freedom is a good thing. I see many coupled nurses married or in a relationship that put up with things I would never put up with and it reminds me why being single is a good thing! lol
Your boss sounds like she doesnt understand that you nave medical needs that can require time off duiring work. Are you on FMLA? It culd help.
The tardies sound bad. Get a reliable car, get a back-up reliable car, be on time. You should be late no more than about once a year, if that. In America, even having car troubles in places where there is poor reliable public transportation, even having young children - these are not really acceptable excuses. Probably because you are not willing and able to give an extra inch in exchange. And because yes, your boss might be miserable and jealous.
Stop telling your good fortune at work. You just make people jealous. Should they be? No, but it can sometimes not be helped. people do get jealous because they are selfish or in pain. Keep your home life and marriage out of their hearing.
Your post sounds like a lot of excuses. Late is late. Doesnt matter from what. As one off occurrences of your car not starting, sure, most people wont worry about that, but combined with multiple other late occurrences, "missing the bus", multiple unplanned doctor appointments and then being late when you supposed to be there presumably at a certain time sounds like a lot of lates and poor planning on your part. If you have a medical condition where you need a lot of doctor visits it would seem that applying for intermitent FMLA would have been a good option so these things can be planned if possible, or if not, you can use your FMLA based on your medical condition. But because thats not the case you have many absences. Are late, leaving early. Late because your sick? For gods sake either call out sick or arrive on time. So because of all that your boss is really paying attention to everything you do because it seems she cant really count on you so she is going to nit pick everything else.
This isnt a case of "my boss is unreasonable and shes targeting me", its a case of you not being responsible, not able to adapt to the new schedule like a grown adult with proper planning. These are all excuses.
Your team says your lates aren't causing them grief is because they've learned to not depend on you and just try to work as if you aren't there so things get done. If you show up, bonus I guess?
You want to maybe work in ICU or the hospital? All of the stuff you've pulled would never fly.You are on the floor at 7 am ready for report. 7:01 you are late and unprepared. Unplanned doctor visit in 2 days? Sorry schedule is out already, they dont make changes to accommodate you. You either try to make it on a day off, or you have to call in sick, unless you have FMLA. Too many call outs, your in job jeopardy.
Where I work 5 absences/lates a year, your getting a letter from HR to improve or start worrying about disciplinary action.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I think the reason that your coworkers told you your tardiness and absences weren't a problem is because they didn't want to get into conflict with you, OP. It doesn't really matter what they think, anyway. In the final run, it's what your manager thinks and what your employer's policy is regarding attendance. Like several other posters have stated, had you worked where I worked, you would have been gone long already.
I don't think your manager is gunning for you, either. I think she is enforcing the attendance policy, which you seem to have a problem abiding by. If every nurse in your department came in late or left early or didn't come in at all like you did, your department would be in anarchy. And she isn't jealous of your husband...how funny!
If you get another job you are going to have to learn how to suck it up and go to work like other people do, and to do your job accurately. An employee with a lousy attendance record and a history of making mistakes is not a valuable employee.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Your boss sounds like she doesnt understand that you nave medical needs that can require time off duiring work. Are you on FMLA? It culd help.
The tardies sound bad. Get a reliable car, get a back-up reliable car, be on time. You should be late no more than about once a year, if that. In America, even having car troubles in places where there is poor reliable public transportation, even having young children - these are not really acceptable excuses. Probably because you are not willing and able to give an extra inch in exchange. And because yes, your boss might be miserable and jealous.
Stop telling your good fortune at work. You just make people jealous. Should they be? No, but it can sometimes not be helped. people do get jealous because they are selfish or in pain. Keep your home life and marriage out of their hearing.
Good luck deciding how to proceed.
The OP said she didn't qualify for FMLA, so either she hasn't worked long enough to be eligible for it, or her medical issues are not qualifying illnesses to make her eligible for it.
If her boss is miserable, it's because she has a highly unreliable employee who makes getting the work done more difficult. My guess is she couldn't care less about the OP's husband/home/marriage.
Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.
The OP previously reported they worked at the research company for eight months. Must work 12 months for FMLA. All these absences in less than a year, you're lucky to still be employed. 3hrs late => job abandonment in many hospital critical care units. Multiple errors + absences + excessive tardiness + lack of personal responsibility = not a valuable employee
I'm sorry you put the target on your back with your choices.
Meh. I went back and looked at some previous posts, and now I feel like the joke's on me. I just. don't. get. it. Who DOES that kind of stuff and expects there to be no blowback??
Lord I looked back at her posts for entertainment value, and just wow. Wow. She wouldnt even deserve to work at a McDonalds. McDonalds employees are more professional than she is.
I feel like were being trolled but I just dont know for sure. Some people really ARE that daft
Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
Meh. I went back and looked at some previous posts, and now I feel like the joke's on me. I just. don't. get. it. Who DOES that kind of stuff and expects there to be no blowback??
I think this behavior is largely a symptom of the entitlement generation. I person who has extremely high expectations for how supposed to treat them while taking on no responsibility with regard to work expectations and policies. People who think a boss who demands performance is a bully. Plus I'm really sick of people who state "I don't have to work because my Husband, partner, Siamese cat makes enough to support us!" If that were true you wouldn't be working. I have worked my whole life since age 13 and have always tried to give great performance, but I did really try. My husband and I are now imparting the importance of work ethics on our 14 year old son who just got his first job.
1.) show up on time
2.) be ready to work
3.) show respect to your boss.
4.) whenever possible give advanced notice of you need time off or are going to quit.
Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN
11,305 Posts
I agree.
Again, this makes sense to me as well. If the OP can't met the obligations of taking a job, the OP needs to not take the job.