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they think i don't care

Ob/Gyn   (3,995 Views 24 Comments)
by JadeRN7 JadeRN7 (New Member) New Member

JadeRN7 has 4 years experience and works as a L&D nurse.

1,891 Visitors; 26 Posts

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I recently had a talk with my nursing supervisor and apparently some of the staff have been mistaking my inverted/shy personality for not caring. For example, when someone says I forgot to document something and I say "oh ok" I actually correct the mistake but this coworker apparently told my supervisor that I basically said "oh ok whatever". We also had an emergency during labor and staff came in to assist but even though I'm new and was trying to be helpful, they said I gave the impression that the emergency situation did not phase me. I don't understand how to change that. I went home and cried in my husband's arms. I love my job and I do CARE about my patients and their babies and even their families and I always get great feedback from my patients and their families but I don't know what to do about staff members' perception of me. I'm so upset over this. :crying2:

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544 Visitors; 2 Posts

i understand you. i also encountered such in my last hospital experience. it felt so depressing because at first i thought since i'm just a novice nurse they would understand my situation that they would help and support me but i was wrong because what i expected did not happen. what happened was actually the reverse of what i expected. but even though they are not nice to me, i still gave respect to them for all of them are my SENIORS. i still did my best. and whenever they push me down i just tell my self that maybe they just can't admit to themselves that i have the potential to beat them in the future that's why they doesn't help me to learn. and i don't want to be like them. so just be your self. your patients are the ones who matters the most.

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canoehead has 30 years experience as a BSN, RN and works as a RN ER.

2 Followers; 48,401 Visitors; 6,576 Posts

Quick fix- ask lots of questions. You are new so you must have some. If you are constantly trying to improve and understand they can't help but see that you care.

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Coffee Nurse has 10 years experience as a BSN, RN and works as a Staff nurse.

16,388 Visitors; 928 Posts

I recently had a talk with my nursing supervisor and apparently some of the staff have been mistaking my inverted/shy personality for not caring. For example, when someone says I forgot to document something and I say "oh ok" I actually correct the mistake but this coworker apparently told my supervisor that I basically said "oh ok whatever". We also had an emergency during labor and staff came in to assist but even though I'm new and was trying to be helpful, they said I gave the impression that the emergency situation did not phase me. I don't understand how to change that. I went home and cried in my husband's arms. I love my job and I do CARE about my patients and their babies and even their families and I always get great feedback from my patients and their families but I don't know what to do about staff members' perception of me. I'm so upset over this. :crying2:

I had the exact same situation towards the end of my orientation as a new grad. My preceptor and CNS sat me down several times to tell me that they were concerned that I didn't seem to care about mistakes when they were pointed out to me. The reality, of course, was that I was beating myself up inside about them, but embarrassment and my natural tendency towards introversion prevented me from being demonstrative about it. Ultimately, all they needed was an acknowledgment on my part that I had acted incorrectly, and a willingness to fix the error and not repeat it in the future (in your example, saying, "oh, sorry, I'll do that now" instead of just "oh, okay," for instance). Was it uncomfortable for me, personality-wise, to be more open about it? Absolutely. But I made the effort, and it paid off. It seems like a paradox, but where I was afraid that admitting mistakes would make me look weak, my coworkers actually see me as stronger for it. I'll bet you'll find a similar situation :up:

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netglow works as a RN.

33,507 Visitors; 4,412 Posts

I hate women.

This wanting you to freak out, then of course if you do you'll be told, "gee, you freaked out, you need to work on that" Guys don't play with your head this way.

Please, nursing Gods, let me have some stabilizing male nurses on my floor :grn:

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Esme12 is a ASN, BSN, RN and works as a Emergency / Trauma Nurse.

4 Followers; 3 Articles; 146,017 Visitors; 20,896 Posts

Calmly explain that this is your personality and if they feel you are un derwhelmed.........ask you and yes the quick fix is ask questions. Like after an emergency......debrief with the other nurses and ask questions.....

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Esme12 is a ASN, BSN, RN and works as a Emergency / Trauma Nurse.

4 Followers; 3 Articles; 146,017 Visitors; 20,896 Posts

I hate women.

This wanting you to freak out, then of course if you do you'll be told, "gee, you freaked out, you need to work on that" Guys don't play with your head this way.

Please, nursing Gods, let me have some stabilizing male nurses on my floor :grn:

And I hate men who assume everything is woman's fault!:devil:

Never forget....... in this field you will be surrounded by women !!!!!!!!!!!!! and don't take kindly to chauvinist remarks!!!!;)

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llg has 40 years experience as a PhD, RN and works as a Nursing Professional Development + Academic Facult.

5 Followers; 57,850 Visitors; 13,021 Posts

Another quick fix: Smile and say "thank you" in a warm voice whenever someone helps you. And open up a little: it doesn't take a lot of effort to add a few words to your thank you. For example, after the emergency in which your teammates helped you, you could smile warmly and say something like, "Gee, thanks for the help. I really appreciate it. As someone who is still fairly new, it's nice to know I can count on you to help me when in such situations."

Those types of little comments (accompanied by a little smile) can do a lot to form a warm collegial connect between you and your coworkers.

When the person said they forgot to chart something, you could have said, "Oh, OK. I'll follow up on that for you. Thanks for telling me." Once again, you don't have to pour your soul out to them. Just be warm and polite. Even a shy person should be able to do that.

And I agree about asking questions. Ask a few to show you care enough to want to get things right and be the best nurse you can be. Ask the senior staff members for some advice now and then. And remember to smile and thank them warmly when they give it. Tell them that you appreciate their teaching because it is helping you to continue to learn. Your comments don't need to be extensive -- just a few words to express a little warmth and gratitude.

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annacnatorn has 16 years experience and works as a Hospice.

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And I hate men who assume everything is woman's fault!:devil:

Never forget....... in this field you will be surrounded by women !!!!!!!!!!!!! and don't take kindly to chauvinist remarks!!!!;)

Well Said!:yeah:

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talaxandra works as a Clinical nurse specialist.

1 Article; 21,888 Visitors; 3,037 Posts

This wanting you to freak out, then of course if you do you'll be told, "gee, you freaked out, you need to work on that"
Obviously I can't speak for the more experienced nurses on the OP's ward. However, I've worked with a number of junior nurses who have been oblivious to the seriousness of their patients conditions, the potential consequences of their mistakes, and disinterested in developing as professionals. It's been an issue where I work regardless of the gender of the unit manager, ACN's, clinical teachers, senior staff, and grads. The only way we have to distinguish between nurses like the OP and these nurses is the way they respond -when their errors are pointed out to them, and when things go bad.

Viewing this as a desire to have them "freak out" is simplistic and misses the point of the concern more experienced nurses have.

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CrunchRN has 25 years experience as a ADN and works as a Nurse.

1 Follower; 30,060 Visitors; 4,179 Posts

I don't know, but i kind of agree with 2ndwind. :smokin::smokin::smokin:

Not all women in nursing, but a lot of them are really hard on other nurses and their "personality traits".

Why didn't they just ask the nurse if she was taking it seriously or not? Why should this nurse be made to feel lacking and need to change her personality? Men do not treat other men like this at all.

Oh, and I am a woman and have been a nurse for 17 years.

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elprup has 2 years experience and works as a Soul searching..

21,641 Visitors; 1,005 Posts

I hate women.

This wanting you to freak out, then of course if you do you'll be told, "gee, you freaked out, you need to work on that"

Exactly why I feel like I cannot win.

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