10 things you say at work lay people could get arrested for

lactationrn · Jul 9, 2001

1. I need to check your hemroids or

2. lets see your perineum during postpartem exam

3. can I watch you nurse your baby (when assessing infant sucking)

4.If you cant pee on your own, I am going to have to put a tube in your member (catheter insertion)

I could go on for days!!!! :)

lsellers · Jul 13, 2001

How about " This is going to hurt but it will take care of the pain"

bagladyrn, RN · Jul 23, 2001

This thread popped into my mind last night as I heard myself say to a new mom I was teaching to breastfeed "You've got great nipples":D

NursyWursy · Aug 19, 2001

I needed a urine sample from a patient and I said, " Don't forget to save your pee for me, ":eek:

wildcherry · Feb 8, 2006

I was helping a coworker clean up an old fellow who'd been incontinent of loose stool........he also had alot of scrotal edema and was red as a beet. Well as I was gently (or I thought so) wiping his bottom off, he yells out, "OW! MY NUTS" , drawing out the "NUTS". We got more than a few comments from the docs who heard it all from the nurses station. :chuckle :chuckle :roll :roll

MMARN, BSN, RN · Feb 10, 2006

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!THESE ARE SOOOO FUNNY! AND TRUE!:chuckle :chuckle :roll :roll :rotfl: :rotfl:

MrsWampthang, BSN, RN · Feb 10, 2006

"Ok, you're free to go; well, not really." Said to a prisoner leaving the ER accompanied by a sheriff's deputy.

Pam

allnurses Guide · Feb 12, 2006

I was very ill post op, dehydrated, went to my own ER. On my third liter, a male nurse told me "I'd sure like to see you pee!" Told him "its not a spectator sport":chuckle

bell47 · Feb 12, 2006

I'm not a nurse yet but I had a nurse tell me when I had to get a shot in the hip " Pull down your jeans, bend over and you'll get a little prick". I couldn't help but laugh. I'm glad it she was a friend of mine. I told her I'm not that kind of guy!

blynn · Feb 12, 2006

"Can you pee into this cup for me?"

"Okay, here comes the catheter."

tollern · Feb 13, 2006

While preparing a male donor for plasma donation.....when he asked why I was stroking his arm to make the vein pop up...... "If I stroke it, it comes up faster." I thought he and everyone within earshot would fall out laughing.

Littlewonder · Feb 13, 2006

Littlewon's dh here, I used to be an orderly in OR and one day I was sent to pick up a patient from ER who had caught a circular saw, when I got there he was still fully dressed (including winter coat) so I told the nurse, "I can't take him anywhere, he's still dressed".