10 things you say at work lay people could get arrested for

susanmary · Apr 2, 2001

Also -- "I need to check your groin" (incision.) Often gets my male patients laughing....

kjmta57 · Apr 2, 2001

bend over as far as possible so we can check you out better.

john privett · Apr 2, 2001

1.i have to stick this up your rectum

2.i need some of your urine

3.i'm going to take some of your blood

4.breathe this in and hold it

5.you have to swallow it

6.i'm going to tie you down, its for your own good

7.we'll inject this into your body, and then take some pictures

8.ma'am, i'm going to examine your breasts

9.i'm going to rub this into your bottom

10.i didnt like his heart rhythm, so i shocked him

Athena · Apr 8, 2001

Originally posted by john privett:
1.i have to stick this up your rectum
2.i need some of your urine
3.i'm going to take some of your blood
4.breathe this in and hold it
5.you have to swallow it
6.i'm going to tie you down, its for your own good
7.we'll inject this into your body, and then take some pictures
8.ma'am, i'm going to examine your breasts
9.i'm going to rub this into your bottom
10.i didnt like his heart rhythm, so i shocked him

how about "the next time you have a bowel movement, don't flush so I can look at it."

OLSKL · Apr 8, 2001

I'm going to poke you now then you will start to feel better.

kewlnurse · Apr 9, 2001

Here, suck on this (while handing them a incentive spirometer)

ballyk · Apr 11, 2001

what about "wiggle your toes....little prick" just before an IM injection

maikranz · Apr 11, 2001

ohmigod!!!!!

Gael McL · Apr 13, 2001

Originally posted by john privett:
1.i have to stick this up your rectum
2.i need some of your urine
3.i'm going to take some of your blood
4.breathe this in and hold it
5.you have to swallow it
6.i'm going to tie you down, its for your own good
7.we'll inject this into your body, and then take some pictures
8.ma'am, i'm going to examine your breasts
9.i'm going to rub this into your bottom
10.i didnt like his heart rhythm, so i shocked him

How about I have to stick this up your rectum and I want you to hold onto it for as long as you can stand it, the longer you hold it the better it works.

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jamistlc · Apr 19, 2001

What about "I am going to stick my finger inside your rectum" for a rectal stim or digital removal of an impaction!#>

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dskrn · Apr 26, 2001

"Do you want to do it in the chair, or in the bed?"

(Heard from behind a curtain as someone was getting ready to give a patient bath)