john privett

go ahead and print what you want

1.when they wake up, speak a foriegn language 2.get them dressed and put them in a chair in the hall 3.speak to them without using your voice 4.seriously ask them the same question, over and over 5.when they speak, put your hands over your ears, wince, and ask them to stop shouting 6.pretend, when they speak, you can't hear them 7.before they wake up, put them in the mop closet with the lights off 8.white robes and harps, need we say more?

1.wheel a pt. into someones elses room, and tell them to scootch over 2.while they are asleep, put on a toe tag and pull the sheet over their head 3.just before the anesthesia takes effect, tell them, "dont worry, they dropped all the charges against your surgeon." 4.purposely refer to them by the wrong last name 5.ask them the same question, over and over 6. every time they answer your question, ask them, "was i talking to you?" 7.have your take out delivered to the npo's room 8.take them off the bed pan and ask them if they had corn yesterday 9.when the ivac beeps, yell "run, it's gonna blow!" 10.just before doing a rectal temp, pull out a large outdoor thermometer, and tell them, "you might feel a little pressure"

i don't know, sounds like a touchy subject

1. hello, hello.....hello.........hello 2. welcome, would you like to try an extra value meal? 3. billing and patient accounts, how may i help you? 4. you have reached the nurses station, please leave a message after the beep. 5. at the tone, the time will be... 6. ye...mr..ith.....ca..i...lp..ou? 7. what the hell was that? hey did you guys here that beeping noise? 8. let me guess, you need the bed pan 9. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT! 10. ........................

who left this here? i was working in a nursing home. the cnas were getting on my nerves, not doing a very thorough job cleaning up after their pts. i took an attends out of the package, filled it with corn and chocolate pudding, and left it on a bathroom sink. i called all the cnas over the intercom, and asked me to meet them in the pts room. when they all arrived i sternly asked who left this dirty attends on the sink? i reminded them how unsanitary it was to do that. i picked it up and unwrapped it. i started smelling it, i could see them start to worry about my sanity. i looked at them and then mashed it into my face. one of them turned green, two of them started laughing hysterically, and one of them vomited right there on the spot.

1.i have to stick this up your rectum 2.i need some of your urine 3.i'm going to take some of your blood 4.breathe this in and hold it 5.you have to swallow it 6.i'm going to tie you down, its for your own good 7.we'll inject this into your body, and then take some pictures 8.ma'am, i'm going to examine your breasts 9.i'm going to rub this into your bottom 10.i didnt like his heart rhythm, so i shocked him