john privett

john privett

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  1. What are some of the most ridiculous things patients have asked of you?

    I was once digitally disimpacting an elderly lady. After finding a baseball sized lower rectal obstruction and trying my darndest to dislodge said obstruction, it soon became appearant to me that I was going to need more than one digit to get the job...
  2. things are not what they seem

    hello all, i've been gone for awhile. i've missed you. recently, i was researching a paper and i found some things in my medical dictionary that are just not what they seem. 1. There is a DICK test, but it's not for what i thought it was. 2. Hysteri...
  3. i dont know about you, but matt says.....

    -he will not take a pill that gives him gas with oily discharge -after what his dog licks at least a thousand times a day, his dogs mouth couldnt possibly be cleaner than his -he wants to add, "i'm friggin dying over here" to the pain scale -he knows...
  4. inquring minds want to know

    1.what does the phrase, "you might feel a little pressure" really mean? 2.what does it mean when my doctor tells me to bend over and say "ah"? 3.should my proctologist be smiling when he's putting his gloves on? 4.is the sight of small animals trappe...
  5. i've been exposed

    unfortunately, the other dat at work, i think i was exposed to something that medical proffessionals are now calling dumb cow disease. its an insideous disease the afects your abilitee to spel. at first you dont notis thet you have a problem, but ove...
  6. fun things to do in the recovery room

    go ahead and print what you want
  7. fun things to do in the recovery room

    1.when they wake up, speak a foriegn language 2.get them dressed and put them in a chair in the hall 3.speak to them without using your voice 4.seriously ask them the same question, over and over 5.when they speak, put your hands over your ears, winc...
  8. How do you...

    i give up, how?
  9. glass eye

    isnt it great to see eye to eye with your patient?
  10. Absolutly true.......

    that's my kind of nurse!
  11. pooh on head

    tastes like chicken
  12. famous last words before termination

    1.for this enema, i want you to take it doggie style 2.the pca isnt hooked up to me, it just looks that way 3.i prefer to say, i effectively d/c'd that pts. attitude problem 4.i just assumed with a heart rate of 150, he was excited to see me 5.yeah, ...
  13. a few of matts last words before termination

    1.is that thing grounded? 2.50 mgs of epinephrine, coming right up 3.360 joules didnt do the trick, so i severed the wires wires and stuck it on his tongue, hey it was a last ditch effort 4.aw c'mon doc, that guy was always complaining of chest pain ...
  14. more fun things to do, by my bro. nurse matt

    1.wheel a pt. into someones elses room, and tell them to scootch over 2.while they are asleep, put on a toe tag and pull the sheet over their head 3.just before the anesthesia takes effect, tell them, "dont worry, they dropped all the charges against...
  15. last day of clinicals!!!

    ALWAYS wear gloves!
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