Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

AtlantaRN, RN · Jan 21, 2006

jimmy buffet says "there's no dumb *ss vaccine."

linda

Adam D. RN2005 · Jan 27, 2006

When your Doctor says go immediately to the hospital from their office, do not drive 120 miles into the next state, have your car run out of gas on the side of the road, and come into the hospital (115 miles away from the hospital that your doctor ment for you to go to) and not tell the admiting MD your meds and then become demanding to your RN (which was me) that none of your meds are being given when you come into the ER so confused that you don't tell the MD's what your hx is and what meds you are on. And then tell your RN (which was me) that the staff at the facitility are goofy because we keep on asking you the same questions over and over again because we are trying to find out your meds and history which you won't tell us. This happened to me the other day. Pt was dam lucky that they did not hit anything in their low O2 state.

ktwlpn, LPN · Jan 27, 2006

Don't sample your mother-in-law's m.s. contin by crushing and snorting it the afternoon of her funeral because a co-worker offered you $10.00 a tab and told you"Try it-It's a great high" When your resps drop and you can't put a complete sentence together don't get pizzed at your wife for "over-reacting" and calling 911-she did just loose her mother....dumb shyte......

Mirai Kangofu · Feb 9, 2006

If you're going to perform autoerotic asphyxiation, as embarassing as it is, at least have someone there to release you from your noose if you pass out! It's extremely sad when your family has to cover up your cause of death by calling it a suicide when in reality, they found you hanging naked from your bedpost, member in hand, with an XXX video playing.

EricJRN, MSN, RN · Feb 9, 2006

Wow - what a thread. Do you think Trixxy (the OP) had any idea of the monster she was creating two years and 516 posts ago? :)

KyPinkRN · Feb 10, 2006

Oh BTW, Never get drunk with your buddies, steal an SUV, lead 3 counties worth of police on a 2 hour manhunt, crash SUV into tree, climb a tree over a creek bed to hide from police while still drunk while your buddies get away.

And if you do don't fall out of said tree while the police are still looking for you. Lest they will here the THUD and you will go to the ER then jail... and don't expect EMS, police or ER staff to be sympathetic when you complain of pain.

True story-happened while I was on the ambulance one night. I was cracking up the whole way to the ER!! Couldn't help it.

blynn · Feb 12, 2006

Don't use a vibrator one week after having lady partsl surgery.

If by chance you do cocaine and end up with an errection that won't go away, don't wait until day four to seek medical attention for said errection.

tencat · Feb 13, 2006

Don't use a vibrator one week after having lady partsl surgery.
If by chance you do cocaine and end up with an errection that won't go away, don't wait until day four to seek medical attention for said errection.

YEOW! :eek:

hlfpnt, BSN, RN · Feb 15, 2006

Never lay wallpaper on your lap and cut it with a knife.... :eek: , and dental floss is not the best way to get rid of an ugly mole

Mirai Kangofu · Feb 17, 2006

If a prostitute offers sex without a condom for $40, it's probably too good to be true, as she'll probably give you something nasty in return.

CarrieH · Feb 17, 2006

Do not push your elderly mother in her wheelchair without footrests because they're too much trouble to put on. Especially when going down a hill.

Do not drive to your doctors office with your bleeding arm out the window of your truck just so you don't get blood on the seats.

When soap and water doesn't remove the pen ink from your toddler's skin, don't try bleach, then lighter fluid, then PineSol.

Don't even bother asking for a refill of your sleep med because your teenage daughter took 80 of them (in the same day) and now you only have 10 left.

If you are on a sleep med, don't take a 3rd and 4th pill because the first 2 "didn't work".

If a heavy can of peas falls on your child's head, don't drop it on your own head 4-5 times "to see how much it hurt her". You might end up with a bit of a headache.

-CarrieH

blynn · Feb 18, 2006

Don't even bother asking for a refill of your sleep med because your teenage daughter took 80 of them (in the same day) and now you only have 10 left.

Oh I LOVE that, I love when people ask for refills on their meds because '"well, my daughter/friend/whoever ran out of hers so I had to give her some of mine. She's going to pay me back when she gets her prescription refilled, but I need to refill mine early until she can get hers."

Doesn't really work that way people, sorry.