Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

nialloh, RN · Jun 15, 2006

Don't let your CHF'ing father eat Chinese as he might end up on a vent after nearly drowning on his own fluids.

grace90, LPN, LVN · Jun 15, 2006

When your wife comes into the hospital after a motor vehicle accident, it's fine to insist she needs her psych meds for a history of severe anxiety and bipolar, but the nurse (me) cannot get a med ordered if you only remember it as "that little white pill 4 x a day" and don't remember the name of it. Don't keep insisting she needs her "little white pill" until you get the med list. There's lots of little white pills, unless you want me to guess. :uhoh3: (We finally did get it straightened out and she got her meds, it was Ativan.)

Angie O'Plasty · Jun 15, 2006

Do not:
if you are the ED doc, disbelieve the ED nurse when she tells you the 4 year old patient with a h/o asthma has a cardiac problem not a respiratory problem without first looking at the monitor. Said patient's heart rate was 280-300 and ED doc insisted on an albuterol treatment. (RN-me, the doctor was an idiot and I called the pediatrician. Ped MD advised ped cardiologist, ped cardio came in chemically cardioverted patient and THEN treated the respiratory problem.)

Yikes--what was the rhythm?

prmenrs, RN · Jun 15, 2006

My guess, w/o seeing the rhythm myself, of course, would be supraventricular tachycardia. I've seen in NICU on occasion. Can't begin to think why s/he couldn't/wouldn't/didn't look @ and believe the monitor. Sheesh. Turn off the auto-pilot!

Angie O'Plasty · Jun 15, 2006

My guess, w/o seeing the rhythm myself, of course, would be supraventricular tachycardia. I've seen in NICU on occasion. Can't begin to think why s/he couldn't/wouldn't/didn't look @ and believe the monitor. Sheesh. Turn off the auto-pilot!

Sounds like that doc had a major cerebral flatulation!!! As for the rhythm, I suppose SVT does make sense as I know it can be pretty fast, but 280-300? That kid must not have been feeling so good... I sure wouldn't be! (and this is coming from someone who can exceed 210 in sinus tach during exercise...)

prmenrs, RN · Jun 15, 2006

I know I've seen it go to 250 or more. One of the first things you try is to get a basin w/ice water in it, pick the baby up and, literally, dunk the kid's face in the water to see if you can get a divers reflex. I hated having to do that, but until you can get some more help, it is something you can try. It works, but more often than not, they go back into SVT again.

nambour51 · Jun 16, 2006

This thread is amazing. There are so many potential Darwin Awardees everywhere. A few things patients down under in the land of OZ have taught me:

Don't try and cut wood with a chain saw, wearing only shorts and thongs on your feet, at 1.30 in the morning, after you have been drinking all night, while it is raining. (He thought it would be OK - his wife was holding the torch at the time!) Don't do this when you are an hour away from assistance. When you do get medical assistance you will need to be flown to the nearest trauma hospital by helicopter and undergo emergency surgery on your mutilated foot.

Don't put a put a 4 inch hard plastic ball in a dark place - very difficult to remove, even with the aid of the vacuum extractor from labour ward. (ouch)

Don't put plaster of paris in a dark place either - it sets hard and you end up with a colostomy. (Pt got this idea of the net) After you have your colostomy reversed months later don't proceed to pour expanding foam filler in same dark place. It really does expand and you end up with a colostomy for a longggggg time! and it really annoys the surgeon having to repeat the same type of surgery late at night.

Don't take your father's computer chair out on to the road and then get your friends to push it down the hill with you sitting on it - you end up with a few broken bones! (eleven year old boys - boys will be boys I guess).

bethem · Jun 16, 2006

Don' get a privy parts ring unless you really enjoy frequent urinary tract infections.

Really?

grace90, LPN, LVN · Jul 1, 2006

It's not worth it to swerve to avoid hitting a possum while driving down the highway at a high rate of speed. This poor lady who did this ended up rolling and sustained 2 scapular fractures, a clavicle fracture, a C2 fracture, a pneumo and 5 fractured ribs.

JessicRN · Jul 5, 2006

-Don't try to defraud the insurance company by pouring gas in your house and light a cigarette while you and your wife and child are still in the room. (you go poof)

-Don'tcome the ED triage desk fully dressed with your wife and child with third degree circumferential burns to over 80% over yours and their bodies reeking of gasoline and say the house caught on fire while you were sleeping. You might not be believed and the police will be very interested as will DSS

-When you smoke marijuana don't come to the ED saying you feel funny.

-when you are told that there will be minimum of 3-4 hours before you will be seen in the ED. Don't thinkthe triage nurse was only kidding and start yelling after 15 minutes that you were not seen yet for your rash that you have had for three weeks.

- don't jump out of a moving vehcle because you are mad at your boyfriend. It hurts when you landandyou mightget run over by the vehicle behind your car.

banditrn · Jul 9, 2006

Never, when you've run out of Prep H, use the old cure-all Vicks on your hemorroids!

And if you have crotch itch, please don't apply Icy-Hot. You'll end up with a major case of blue b@lls!

banditrn · Jul 10, 2006

Taking six aspirins and showing up in ER with an overdose because you broke up with your girlfriend does not garner you much sympathy.

Gosh, don't you just LOVE that?!!

When I worked in ICU, any OD's got to spend the nite there, then go to Psych the next AM. We used to get some real looloo's. One kid OD's on antibiotics - we determined that by doing that, he could conceivably poop himself to death.

Then, there was the young man who took some Tylenol - when he was informed that he got to go to Psych in the morning, he informed us that he couldn't - he had a job interview!!:trout:

I did like to inform the tylenol and ibupropen takers that they really could end up doing damage to their bodies with that little gesture - my, how horrified they would be. :uhoh3: