Wouldn't it have been great if they told us this stuff in nursing school?
NOTE: A LOT OF MINE WERE MEANT FOR LTC NURSES
The human body is capable of holding 200 cups of H2O/coffee in your bladder....literally.
We were always instructed "Your body needs sleep to heal, rest, ect...",yeah that's funny.
Practicing sterile procedures for EVERYTHING is a waste of time(except catheters).
Of the 40 pts I have, I know what all the side effects of their meds are(yeah, all 50 meds per pt!!!). Oh yeah, and I know the GENERIC-TRADE names too.
Remember calcuating drip rates for G-tubes??? I don't.
They won't tell you what a med-cocktail is in school.
I THINK THAT ALL OF THAT IS NEED TO KNOW INFORMATION. HOW DARE THEY NOT SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THAT STUFF. WHEN I START SCHOOL I WILL HAVE ALL OF THOSE QUESTIONS ANSWERED BEFORE I SET FOOT IN A CLINICAL:rotfl: . BUT MAYBE NOT. I HOPE I NEVER RUN INTO PROJECTILE VOMMITTING OR TOO MUCH POOP.
:rotfl: You have no idea how funny you are. Best wishes.
Specializes in midwifery, ophthalmics, general practice.
I have learnt.
to smile .. no matter what gets thrown at me...
that patients will tell me one thing and the doctor something completely different!
that the really ill patients are the ones who never complain
that people can hide all sorts of things about their person...........and be naked at the same time (think about it)
that tea strainers can be used as a contraceptive device..
NEVER EVER use the word 'quiet' - its fatal and will result in the shift from hell
that the minute I leave work.. the man with chest pain will arrest! in 26yrs as a nurse I have never seen an arrest.........they always wait until I have left the unit!!! odd that!
That if you choose to work in home health you will be inserting a foley into an elderly woman that weighs about 90lbs, but has the strength of 10 men. The room will be about 100 degrees, you will be sweating like a pig and the only light in the room will be a 25 watt light bulb on the other side of the room. In order to insert the catheter you will be on your knees in the bed with a pen light in your mouth and your elbow will be trying to hold her knees apart...oh yeah and don't forget sterile technique because this is the last catheter you have in your car and you are about 65 miles from your office.
Also, when you go to admit your patient for service, again about 65-70 miles from the office, the patient will be dead when you get there. Unfortunately, the family will not realize that grandma is not just sleeping and so when you let them know that she has expired the will all become so hysterical that the pregnant niece will start having contractions and need an ambulance. There will not be a current DNR order and you will need to carry your own phone because the family will have a phone that does not dial out long distance and you will be in the middle of nowhere.
And last but not least, a bad day in home health will include running over a chicken.
That a hospital hallway is the best place to fart.
That diarrhea is hereditary, it runs in your genes.
That if you find a man on the hospital floor and he is not unconscious,and you shock him, he will cuss.....a lot.
That it is fun to ask new grads about normal lab values, and then ask them what the normal alcohol level is.
That if you are trying to put a foley in a woman, and miss, leave it in place, then get new cath and try again, you can then tell where you do not want to put it.
If you are putting a foley in an 80 year old maid, try not to miss.
Never laugh or snicker when you are putting a catheter in a man And never ever say out loud "would you look at the size of this thing"
Treat your pct's with respect and help em out, they could save your butt.
Never put an ng tube in, allow it to come out the mouth, and then allow pt to grab both ends and pull.
What about the postop hip who tells you "Oh I guess you don't have to stick me for blood now huh"?, as you're emptying his hemovac full of bloody drainage!
Or how come your postop will deny pain all day till the doctor comes around and then suddenly they are dying?
Here is something that was never even HINTED upon in nursing school I wish they would have covered:
Hierarchy/chain of command at the hospital. All the workplace dynamics you will have to deal with and how to deal with them. Oh, that would have been helpful information. I'm no kids, I'm in my 30's, I've had many, many jobs but I was no prepared for the stuff I had to deal with in the hospital setting that had little or nothing to do with nursing skills or performing your job description.
Wouldn't it have been great if they told us this stuff in nursing school?
NOTE: A LOT OF MINE WERE MEANT FOR LTC NURSES
The human body is capable of holding 200 cups of H2O/coffee in your bladder....literally.
We were always instructed "Your body needs sleep to heal, rest, ect...",yeah that's funny.
Practicing sterile procedures for EVERYTHING is a waste of time(except catheters).
Of the 40 pts I have, I know what all the side effects of their meds are(yeah, all 50 meds per pt!!!). Oh yeah, and I know the GENERIC-TRADE names too.
Remember calcuating drip rates for G-tubes??? I don't.
They won't tell you what a med-cocktail is in school.
Specializes in 6 years of ER fun, med/surg, blah, blah.
you don't always know how clean their kitchen is . . . and once a whole shift of nurses got some sort of intestinal problem from goodies a family brought in. the whole shift of ccu nurses -- nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. not pretty!
i had a guy bring in a whole cooked turkey, mashed potatoes, & veggies & pumpkin pie, because he said we were so nice to him last week, when he had his surgery. this was during my days as a med/surg rn. we ate it all & didn't have any bad effects. it was still warm & what the heck, nurses can eat anything.
Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
How back-biting and nasty nurses can be with one another. How sad and shocking!!! These are people who have the lives of patients in their hands and have to do teamwork at times whether or not they like it. Why not do it in a friendly atmosphere? And an aide who has been there for ever think s/he has authority over a newly hired BSN and can tell him/her how to do his/her job.
DNRme
92 Posts
:rotfl: you have no idea how funny you are.