Things nursing school FAILED to tell us

Nurses Humor

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Wouldn't it have been great if they told us this stuff in nursing school?

NOTE: A LOT OF MINE WERE MEANT FOR LTC NURSES

The human body is capable of holding 200 cups of H2O/coffee in your bladder....literally.

We were always instructed "Your body needs sleep to heal, rest, ect...",yeah that's funny.

Practicing sterile procedures for EVERYTHING is a waste of time(except catheters).

Of the 40 pts I have, I know what all the side effects of their meds are(yeah, all 50 meds per pt!!!). Oh yeah, and I know the GENERIC-TRADE names too.

Remember calcuating drip rates for G-tubes??? I don't.

They won't tell you what a med-cocktail is in school.

Anyone else wanna share???? :chuckle

Specializes in Onc/Med-Surg, ER, Nursing Supervisor.
I worked psych as a tech for a few years and they couldnt have glass vases, so when someone brought flowers we would use urinals. lol :lol2:

I wonder if anyone tried 'watering' the flowers......

Ok, I admit, that was a bad joke.:jester:

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Specializes in critical care, home health.

Never, ever, ever, ever, under any circumstances should you give ambien to an elderly person, unless ambien is something they regularly take at home. 75% of the time, nothing bad will happen, but 25% of the time that sweet little old person will turn into a whirling dervish. They develop super powers, hulk-like, and a 100 pound cute little 90 year old Italian gentleman CAN and WILL kick your ***.

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NEVER expect administration to stand up for their nurses when there is a dispute between patient and nurse or MD and nurse. Sorry to be so cynical.

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That its always wise to do a 'guesstimate' of the height of your elderly male patient before you assist him out of bed with a 'bear hug lift'. For those who dont know, this is when you sit the pt on the edge of the bed, bend your knees slightly, and place both arms around their upper torso. You lift by rocking your weight backwards as you stand, and in the process bring the pt effortlessly to their feet, so they can then transfer to another chair. (that's right, it was before lifting machines) :nurse:

As a 'gung ho' grad nurse, I did this particular lift with a gentlement with dense hemi-paresis. I was standing there holding him, waiting to feel him place his good leg on the floor, and take a little of his weight before I transfered him. After what seemed like forever, I glanced down to see what was taking him so long. Imagine my amusement when I saw BOTH his legs dangling several inches off the floor!!! He wasn't as tall as I expected. Trying to suppress my giggles, I pivoted to the right and deposited him in the commode.

that is so hilarious on so many levels........!

:bdyhdclp:

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