Things that nurses say that may seem inappropriate to lay people

Nurses General Nursing

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What things have you said that would not sound right in any other situation? Here are a few things that just came to mind today as I was leaving work in which I was doing a flu clinic...

-A person asked me would the flu shot hurt I stated "No, I usually go in nice, quick and easy"

- One guy had to remove his shirt so I could get to his arm, I said" You may have to take off your shirt" Ofcourse he starts dancing as if he's stripping:eek::lol2:

- I asked one guy if it was his first time ( referring to the flu shot) he replied no, but I'm very experienced in other things.

Specializes in Psych.

Are you hearing any voices I cant hear, seeing anything I cant see.

Yes, when your mom gets here I will let her know where you are ( to a 90 yr old patient)

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Take a deep breath while I insert this...

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Specializes in OB.

"If you're poopin'-you're pushin' right!!!

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Specializes in Nurse Scientist-Research.
I need to swab your rectum and nose...No, with two separate swabs(after he asked me to swab his nose first) LOL,true story.:uhoh21:

Oh, this is good. Love it!

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Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
Times like this, one may hear a NICU nurse standing over the infant saying something like "Step away from the light!". "Lets hop off the Jesus bus!". "Whoops, there goes higher Algebra!". These things would be said in the middle of the night when there are no visitors.

Some of the other things that might be said at those bedsides would just not be understood by anyone else except another NICU nurse and should not be repeated.

OMG-I just wet my pants!!!! My "funny" pales in comparison.Whenever I am applying balm to a sacrum I inform the resident that "I'm calking your crack now"

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Specializes in Intermediate care.

after a patient farts "Its music to our ears"

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"thump him!!"

(precordial thump) :rolleyes:"

...and the follow-up:

"hit him harder!"

thank you all for making me laugh out loud this evening! some of these deserve extra kudos!

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Specializes in Cardiac.
Many of us sometimes refer to patients by their symptoms or their ailments. This can result in a family member hearing us talk about the SOB in 4122 or the CABG in 2736. Not greatly appreciated by non-medical folks.

Love these (it sounds like me every day) :)

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At flu shot clinic-

The older gentleman with a thick sweater on wanted to know if he could leave his sweater on, or just roll up the sleeve. I looked at him doubtfully and asked

"Can you get it up that high?"

Dead silence for 5 seconds, then his wife starts to giggle and the man looked at me trying to keep a straight face and said "young lady, that's a rather personal question, but to set the record straight, yes, I can."

Ugh.

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"Tell me when Im in all the way"

(measuring the depth of abd fistula)

"I dont like how juicy this is today"

(referring to copious exudate in previous abd fistula)

"could you open your legs a little more? the light in here is terrible and I cant see where Im going"

(LOL monthly cath change)

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Specializes in Critical Care (ICU/CVICU).

I love all of these. LOL

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Telling someone their patient is "Tachy". That usually gets a look or two.

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