Things that nurses say that may seem inappropriate to lay people

Nurses General Nursing

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What things have you said that would not sound right in any other situation? Here are a few things that just came to mind today as I was leaving work in which I was doing a flu clinic...

-A person asked me would the flu shot hurt I stated "No, I usually go in nice, quick and easy"

- One guy had to remove his shirt so I could get to his arm, I said" You may have to take off your shirt" Ofcourse he starts dancing as if he's stripping:eek::lol2:

- I asked one guy if it was his first time ( referring to the flu shot) he replied no, but I'm very experienced in other things.

"Just spread your legs and relax, this will be over shortly"-inserting foley

"Suck, don't blow, that's good, you got it!"- Instructing LOL on incentive spirometer use.

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.

How about the "Q sign" or the "fly sign"?

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If you use "circling the drain" as part of a conversation (not with a patient but with friends/family). You're using it to hide what you would normally say, kind of a buffer (you thought) but still, once the meaning is figured out, there's always someone who does a :eek:

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Funny u mentioned this. One nurse asked these questions and the patient was like I don't know I don't check my **** I just flush, do you check yours?! I cried laughing within me, omg his tone of voice cracked me up.

My first nursing instructor, God rest her soul, told us we MUST look at and desctibe all BMs,,,including our own!

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Are you passing gas yet? (after a 'scope or surgery)

Okay, we're going to have to restrain him, go get the cuffs.

Great, cough that bad stuff up! Spit it in the dish so I can look at it (said to a person with pneumonia)

I remember beint told post colonoscopy "you can't go home until you fart"..made sense to me!

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Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.

we were at clinicals and one of my classmates asked my instructor how nurses do it. she said that's it's like you need 8 arms to be a nurse with the various needles and tops and so on. my instructor replies;

"you would be amazed at what a good nurse can do with 2 hands and a mouth."

i almost started choking from laughing so hard. she got bright red and was like "that really didn't sound right did it"

:lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2:

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Understand completly,,,"well, that's why Velcro were designed"..

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Postpartum:

1. "I have to touch/squeeze your breasts."

2. "Are your nipples sore for the sucking?"

3. "I have to spread your cheeks." (hemorrhoids)

4. "I have to push on your stomach to see how much blood comes out." (fundus check)

5. "Your baby will have tar for the first couple poops." (meconium)

I work postpartum and have never included squeezing anyone's boobies in my assessment. :eek:

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Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
I work postpartum and have never included squeezing anyone's boobies in my assessment. :eek:

Well how else do you expect to get a tip. :p

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Well how else do you expect to get a tip. :p

Well, that explains a lot!

Seriously, though, the babies put enough "squeeze" on their mamas' boobies. And the ones who are bottle feeding, well, they don't want to be touched by anyone until the engorgement goes down.

The only time anyone medical has touched/squeezed my girls is during my yearly exam. And that's just fine with me.

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Specializes in I/DD.
Patient is "CABG" in 522 bed 2.

Have you wheeled the "COW" into room 520?

This slip-up actually resulted in a law suit at my hospital. I don't remember exactly what was said, but somebody was talking about the COW right outside the room of a rather large woman...

We now call them WOWs :) (workstations on wheels).

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This slip-up actually resulted in a law suit at my hospital. I don't remember exactly what was said, but somebody was talking about the COW right outside the room of a rather large woman...

We now call them WOWs :) (workstations on wheels).

I think this is an urban legend...I heard the exact same story at my hospital and I live ina different state than you.

Patients always think I'm wierd when I get excited about their urine and say " it's like liquid gold to us!"

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