Things that nurses say that may seem inappropriate to lay people

Published

What things have you said that would not sound right in any other situation? Here are a few things that just came to mind today as I was leaving work in which I was doing a flu clinic...

-A person asked me would the flu shot hurt I stated "No, I usually go in nice, quick and easy"

- One guy had to remove his shirt so I could get to his arm, I said" You may have to take off your shirt" Ofcourse he starts dancing as if he's stripping:eek::lol2:

- I asked one guy if it was his first time ( referring to the flu shot) he replied no, but I'm very experienced in other things.

Specializes in Peds Medical Floor.
I think this is an urban legend...I heard the exact same story at my hospital and I live ina different state than you.

Patients always think I'm wierd when I get excited about their urine and say " it's like liquid gold to us!"

During orientation to my new job we were told this happened at 2 different hospitals, no lawsuits, but upset larger ladies. They are also called WOWs now.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC Rehab Med/Surg.

I'm a night shift nurse.

"I didn't recognize you with the light on"

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Nurse Scientist-Research.
During orientation to my new job we were told this happened at 2 different hospitals, no lawsuits, but upset larger ladies. They are also called WOWs now.

Yes, it's a great story, I've heard it at no less than 4 local hospitals as having happened at that particular hospital. I think the offended woman had just given birth to Orangejello and LemonJello who would soon join their siblings Abcde, Sh!thead, and Chlamydia at home.

But seriously;

We just call our portable computers "roll-arounds" or portables, or even (not quite appropriately) laptops.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Peds Medical Floor.
I'm a night shift nurse.

"I didn't recognize you with the light on"

"I didn't recognize you out of bed!"

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Peds Medical Floor.
Yes, it's a great story, I've heard it at no less than 4 local hospitals as having happened at that particular hospital. I think the offended woman had just given birth to Orangejello and LemonJello who would soon join their siblings Abcde, Sh!thead, and Chlamydia at home.

But seriously;

We just call our portable computers "roll-arounds" or portables, or even (not quite appropriately) laptops.

They specifically said it was 2 of their hospitals. And I don't think it's as crazy and improbable as someone being named Sh!thead. :)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
"Just spread your legs and relax, this will be over shortly"-inserting foley

"Suck, don't blow, that's good, you got it!"- Instructing LOL on incentive spirometer use.

LOL @ the second one -- I always have tried to find a way to explain this to people without sounding a little off but never win. "Most people want to blow in the tube but you've got to suck on it". "That's right, suck on it"

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.
They specifically said it was 2 of their hospitals. And I don't think it's as crazy and improbable as someone being named Sh!thead. :)

But there is the one about the woman who "saw the light" during labor, and had to name her kid "Nosmo King"

Up Vote Up Vote ×

"Your butt is pretty red. I'm going to put some cream on it and we'll keep you laying on your sides so it doesn't get any worse."

Or the pt. who has a healing decubitis "Wow! Your butt is looking a lot better!"

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU, Telemetry.

*Said to a new nurse during her first code*

"Press harder, he's already dead, you're not going to make him worse!"

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med surg, Critical Care, LTC.

Said to patient during Triage: "how is your scrotum?" Patient said "mam, I'd love to answer your question, but I don't know what a "scrotum" is?" I said "How is your balls?" :confused:

Good fart, music to my ears, keep them coming! (after colonoscopy)

Wow, you've got great veins! (to complete stranger, OMG):eek:

To co-worker who came in on his day off "Oh, I didn't recognize you with clothes on!" :smackingf:smackingf:smackingf:smackingf:smackingf:smackingf:smackingf

To a 19 y/o patient, resting my hand on his hip while taking his rectal temp "Man, you are hot!" to which he replied "Thank you mam." :nono::nono:

Said to me (new nurse) by charge nurse after watching me attempt to put a foley in an elderly gentleman "Oh for goodness sake, hold it like you know what to do with it!" :rotfl:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Pediatric/Adolescent, Med-Surg.

To a 19 y/o patient, resting my hand on his hip while taking his rectal temp "Man, you are hot!" to which he replied "Thank you mam." :nono::nono:

:

Rectal temps on a 19 year old?!? :eek::eek:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Peds Medical Floor.

One of the aides at my old job got a strange look from a family member when she said this about her mother:

"I'm just gonna go flip June." She meant turn and position lol.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion