Since the patient version is so popular, and I had a bad weekend (and no hope for a better one this weekend....)
You've been giving this schizophrenic Alzheimer's pt 10 mg Ambien, plus 50mg Benedryl, plus 100mg Seroquel every night at their NH for years. Could you please, PLEASE explain why you stopped giving it to them when you put them in the hospital? Do I look like a lion tamer?
Yes, I am going to report you when you take the packing out of an abdominal wound with your bare hands, despite me waving gloves in front of your face. That's what the risk management software's for. BTW, did you not see the big isolation gear on the door? Pt. has hx. of MRSA in the wound, and you just stirred in it barehanded....
When I call you at 3 am and tell you your pt's BP is 212 over 179, resp are 32, and O2 sats are 78, could you please say something other than "So what do you want me to do?" Because, one night, I'm going to tell you what to do, and it's going to be something that only a hermaphrodite can physically do.
We all know this pt's a junkie; could you please, PLEASE, not admit everyone who comes to the ER with a pulse tonight? I've got two evolving CVA's and an acute MI, along with my OOB q5minutes Alzheimer's pt, my drama queen post lap chole, and one in restraints that the NH sent simple to get a break from him trying to bite them. I don't need a "demerol, phenergan and diet soda" q4h, too.
You may be a skilled vascular surgeon, but I can't believe you don't want to know this patient's creatinine before you inject him with dye tomorrow. You won't be operating on me or my loved ones any time soon. If you ever do, I want a hospitalist (not the one from the post above) following me to make sure you don't ruin my kidneys (or any of my vital organs, for that matter).
To the cardiologist rolling his eyes at me because I wasn't able to get our patient's sheath out the very second his ACT came down due to being slammed with my other patients' needs:
Are you okay doctor? You appear to be having a seizure.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
i dont agree with this necessarily. depends on the context. if he didnt provide a drug/dose/route immediately, you could prompt him without being rude. just saying "what dose/drug/route do you want" works a lot better than your sarcastic diatribe.
if i was the doc on call and i said "ok" and your immediate response was your sarcastic phrase, i'd hang the phone up on you. its incredibly rude and unnecessary.
again, this is overly hostile. if he reported you for it, then by all means explain why you are calling him. but the side commentary and insults are uncalled for. you sound like a very angry person, probably very similar to the very angry docs you work with.
this is a vent thread. it's primary purpose is for venting, secondary purpose is for laughing. in no way is it's purpose for education. in fact, attempts to educate us in a vent thread merely make us angry and disrespect you for your clear lack of a sense of humor. please cease and desist.
if you wish to educate nurses on the way to interact with physicians from the physician's point of view, please start your own thread.
please keep these coming,they are all so good, and for the one disagreeing with some of these posts, the title of this thread is things we would love to tell the doc and get away with it. . . meaning, we wouldn't do it in real life because we have to act professional.
Specializes in er, neuro trauma/icu, hospice, tele,.
platon20 has a point... the idea is things you want to say, not things you did or should say. the poster that was corrected made it clear that the comments were made to the physician. we are professionals working in a stressful field. i don't disagree that we're often times spoken to inappropriately and treated with a lack of respect. however, at no time does it give us the freedom to be disrespectful, rude, or condescending. sarcasm has its time and place. in the example provided it was neither the time nor the place. there's a saying that goes "when someone throws a stone at you, you throw back bread." taking the highroad isn't always the easy choice but it is always the right choice.
I'm sorry you don't like Dr. X, but you wrote the consult, and Dr. X wrote some orders, which you dc'd, he reinstated and dc'd some of yours, and we're now on our 5th episode of "who can cancel the most orders." You two are writing and cancelling orders faster than they are showing up in the computer. Can you please stop the peeing contest long enough to save my patient, thank you.....
Take this stick, ram it up your backside and pretend it's a backbone.
I am not your sweetie, your baby, your honey, or your love. If you were the only man on earth, we'd both be very, very, VERY lonely.
Yes, I know you're a doctor. So's my sister, two of my uncles, and 3 of my cousins. Not impressed.
I'm glad you made it thru med school. But this isn't school, this is real world, and out here, you're failing miserably.
this may have already been mentioned but i personally would love to look them in the face and tell them that i am a nurse not because i could not get into medschool but because i wanted to be a nurse!!!
also would love to tell them "your wrong" without having to beat around the bush about it.... someday i will snap i just know it... :grn:
Perhaps if you knew the doc of whom I speak, you would understand. He considers himself to be God's gift to medicine but the nurses save his butt on a regular basis. And sarcasm is one of my fortes, I gotta be good at something besides nursing. :)
And nope, I'm not an angry person in general, it's just that incompetence and an unwillingness to take the responsibility of your position is unacceptable in my book. I actually got an "exceeds expectations" on my yearly eval for always having an upbeat attitude at work and "always having a smile on". This from a NM who has stated that it is impossible for someone to "exceed expectations" b/c that means that they must exhibit the behavior greater than 95% of the time. FWIW, I also got extremely high marks from the majority of our regular docs...
The yeast infection scenario was just one of many instances where this has occurred with this doc...his typical response when asked "can we do something to treat XYZ" is "yes" and then dead silence. Whereupon the nurse suggests what they want done, and he agrees. He has no initiative, is unwilling to give orders, is rude and demeaning, and pushes all decisions off onto consults. Even the other docs make fun of him. This is a man, who when called b/c his patients are deteriorating, regularly asks in a snide and obnoxious tone, "So what do you want ME to do about it?"
I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you are someone who excels at the art of diplomacy, and that that is what you were trying to interject. But really, this guy deserves all of the sarcasm and extra phone calls he gets. You give me respect, I'll give you respect. Conversely, you give me sarcasm and obnoxiousness, I'll give it right back.
Virgo_RN, BSN, RN
3,543 Posts
You may be a skilled vascular surgeon, but I can't believe you don't want to know this patient's creatinine before you inject him with dye tomorrow. You won't be operating on me or my loved ones any time soon. If you ever do, I want a hospitalist (not the one from the post above) following me to make sure you don't ruin my kidneys (or any of my vital organs, for that matter).