Things you'd LOVE to tell coworkers...and get away with it!

Nurses Relations

Published

Please don't label this thread "negative". It is meant to be fun.

Your scrubs are ugly.

I don't think you are "cute" when you get all googley-eyed and giggly around the young docs. I think it makes nurses look bad.

I cannot BELIEVE you were nominated for A Daisy Award! Did you nominate yourself?

It's called deodorant, use it.

Do your own assessment and stop badgering me for every single detail during report.

I swear I am going to put Ex Lax all over my lunch so the next time someone calls out for the runs, I will know it is you who keeps stealing my food!

Yes, my stethoscope is nice and it was expensive. Buy your own.

No time to help me turn my patient, huh? Yet, every time you need help, I have been there for you.

Your situational awareness sucks. While you are browsing the latest deals on the internet, I am drowning. Look around and help out your coworkers.

I'm happy you look rested and ready for your shift. Next time get here 15 minutes earlier so I can leave on time and be rested and ready for you.

No, you don't ALWAYS get the crappy assignment. I don't think you'd be happy with ANY assignment.

If you're sooooo sick of this place- leave.

Specializes in Ambulatory Surgery, Ophthalmology, Tele.

Not anymore but in the past:

Why are you upset when I can't get everything done and have to pass something off to you once yet you do this often?

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Please stay out of my room. Don't look at my

pumps or fiddle with my lines. Things are fine, leave me be!

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Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.
Hurrrrrrrrryyy up and get report from me. I need to go home and poop in peace. Pleeeeeease. :cry:

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSxNOQjfbD4INd9BfJ_xz9K8UVOAVbSVSQCdTqew8V2JmFaMLKE.

PPllleazzzze! When I finally sneak away for a quick poop, for the love of Gawd, do NOT stand outside the john stall and keep asking me questions about the next schedule, Mr. X, or whatever. You have had the previous ten hours to do just that! I really had to jump through hoops to find this time, so

Go Away!! :banghead:

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Specializes in long term care, alzheimer's, ltc rehab.

I'm rereading this thread again, because it's one of my favorites! Also, after having the weekend from hell with this coworker who has managed to annoy EVERYONE in the facility...

There is only one unit clerk at night (me) for ICU and med-surg (we're a 32 bed LTACH). This nursing assistant thinks that when I am on med surg and she is working, that it's perfectly appropriate to demand that I drop whatever I'm doing to help her print something off the internet (and no, none of it is ever work-related.) Nicely trying to explain to her that I have work to do and cannot do as she asks has no effect on her. I finally snapped and told her this weekend that I have work to do and she needs to leave me alone and tend to her patients. What I did NOT say was:

What in the HELL makes you think I want to put my job at risk by going on websites we're not supposed to be on for you? And also, see this stack of charts right here, and these doctor's notes i'm pulling off the computer? I know this is a foreign concept to you, but I am WORKING!! I am the unit clerk, not your personal secretary! You are rude, disrespectful, and act like you're the center of the damn universe!! (apparently, she was a princess in another country). Get your disgusting garlic and motor oil breath out of my ear, get out of my face, learn the concept of personal space, and LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!

Boy do I feel better! It also helps that I'm off for a week :)

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Specializes in ICU.

Please do not call the ICU at 0545 to start an iV because you have a med to give and did not flush the saline lock all shift.

The so called difficult stick has veins I can see from the hall.

From now on the answer is no.

You suckers dont even try. Deal with it.

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Please do not call the ICU at 0545 to start an iV because you have a med to give and did not flush the saline lock all shift.

The so called difficult stick has veins I can see from the hall.

From now on the answer is no.

You suckers dont even try. Deal with it.

On a related note:

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Specializes in long term care, alzheimer's, ltc rehab.

Why yes, I did move your Ipad away from this area. See all these binders and office supplies and the tele monitors in this little corner over here. This would be known as the UNIT CLERK area. I need this space to perform my job duties. Why yes, I moved your chair a few feet as well. Sorry dude, the nurses station is only so big and I'm in a wheelchair so I need just a TAD bit more room to move. Yeah, roll your eyes and huff and sigh and get pouty about it too...oh, REAL MATURE!!

ps...my computer is not the community Ipad/cell phone charger...just sayin

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Please be awake at 7am when I come on duty for my shift. You snore and drool in your sleep and it is an awful way to start my shift. Plus, the surprised look on your face when I have to tap your shoulder and call your name to wake you up is really disgusting. And your morning breath stinks.

Thanks- I feel better now ?

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Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.

The hallway charting cubby has two computers and two chairs. Plenty of room for two people to work. When I pull a footstool over and place it between the two stations, it's because I want to put my feet up for a minute here and there. I do NOT intend for you to pull it over right next to me, sit on it and start that baby-talk crap you start when you get super-tired.

Why don't you go somewhere and google 'personal space'? Silently.

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Specializes in Critical Care/Vascular Access.

The patients really don't like when you talk to them like a baby. Stop.

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Specializes in Maternity.

It's probably already been mentioned but calling patients "sweetie","honey", "Hun" are all demeaning. I can't tell you how often I hear labor patients and new mothers called "Hun". It drives me crazy.

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Specializes in Critical Care/Vascular Access.
It's probably already been mentioned but calling patients "sweetie","honey", "Hun" are all demeaning. I can't tell you how often I hear labor patients and new mothers called "Hun". It drives me crazy.

I think the exception to this would be in the south, or people from the south. I work with a couple of people that use those terms and usually it's just part of the way they talk and doesn't sound condescending or demeaning. There is a certain tone with which some people say it that does sound demeaning though, but for the most part a lot of southerners use those terms innocently.

A lot of my patients even call me those terms. I've been called everything from "honey" to "baby cakes". haha.

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