Things you'd LOVE to tell coworkers...and get away with it!

[General E. Speaking, RN]

Please don't label this thread "negative". It is meant to be fun.

Your scrubs are ugly.

I don't think you are "cute" when you get all googley-eyed and giggly around the young docs. I think it makes nurses look bad.

I cannot BELIEVE you were nominated for A Daisy Award! Did you nominate yourself?

It's called deodorant, use it.

Do your own assessment and stop badgering me for every single detail during report.

I swear I am going to put Ex Lax all over my lunch so the next time someone calls out for the runs, I will know it is you who keeps stealing my food!

Yes, my stethoscope is nice and it was expensive. Buy your own.

No time to help me turn my patient, huh? Yet, every time you need help, I have been there for you.

Your situational awareness sucks. While you are browsing the latest deals on the internet, I am drowning. Look around and help out your coworkers.

I'm happy you look rested and ready for your shift. Next time get here 15 minutes earlier so I can leave on time and be rested and ready for you.

No, you don't ALWAYS get the crappy assignment. I don't think you'd be happy with ANY assignment.

If you're sooooo sick of this place- leave.

[Raven Sierra, BSN, RN]

"Your ego is writing checks that your brain cells can't cash. It frightens me that you are actually providing care to real people."

[joanna73, BSN, RN]

Yes....please shut up so I can give report and go home to bed. I'm tired. I know you are just starting your day, so you're bright eyed and ready to go, but I've been here for 12 hours on nights...awake.

[flashpoint]

The hospital is under construction. We are going to experience some minor inconveniences while they are building the new nurses' station. Yes, it is sort of the pits to sit at an over bed table to chart, but the end result will be worth it.

The new call light system is being installed. I know the whole weird bell thing has been such a pain in the butt, but they are fixing it! We are getting a whole new call light system with pagers and automatic shutoff and all sorts of new things. Shut up about the old one being down. Just shut up.

I really don't care about your new boyfriend. I don't care about him at all. I actually think it is a bit odd (and inappropriate) that you have had three boyfriends that you brag about sleeping with since January…especially since your divorce was just final in April. I don't care about your adult daughters' boyfriends either. I do think you need to kick your daughters and their boyfriends and their kids out of your apartment. I lived in that exact apartment in nursing school and I know it is pretty small for two people. I can't imagine crowding eleven people in there. It is no wonder you never sleep.

Figure out a way to get some sleep. Tell your boyfriend to quit calling. Make your daughters take care of their babies during the day. Designate one of the bedrooms as yours and only yours so you don't have to wait until noon for whoever is sleeping there to get up. I am tired you listening to you snore. I am tired of telling you things that went in while you napped and then you being shocked in when I pass them on in report. And if you ever chew me out in report again for not letting you know what is going on, I will loudly announce why you don't know what happened. I should report you for sleeping anyway.

I don't care about all of the celebrities that you talk about. Figuring out who in Hollywood is married to who and who is having babies is not more important than charting. Chart now…surf the internet later…stop interrupting my charting to tell me who is getting divorced.

I can't wait to get off this shift. I can't wait until you marry whatever his name is and move.

[anonymous1383]

ok before i say the things i want to tell my coworkers, but have the brains not to, i need to state that i fell at work. I fell because another aide split honey thickened milk and then used her foot to clean it up. i am now on modified duty until the dr figures out how to help me.

Getting pregnant once is an accident, five times??? that just makes you a sloppy ****. get some condoms

No, being 5 months pregnant is not a viable excuse. if you can't do the work, don't come to work. if you want modified duty, stop complaining, and go to the damn dr.

don't ask me if i'm better yet, if i was better i wouldn't be using a cane, and no, i don't know when i'm going to get over this.

Now that i'm done with the stupid comments about my injury, here's the ones for the cna's

put the phone away, your break time ended 15 minutes ago, and facebook is not an important part of your work day.

it doesn't matter who's hall that resident is one, if they have to go to the bathroom, take them.

if you don't like the way we work on this unit, leave because your constant complaining is not helpful in anyway.

no you do not get to call other coworkers names and insult them. if that's what you want to do, go join the army and become a drill Sargent.

I don't care about your personal life, i care that your resident, whom you've been ignoring for the last 4 hours, just kicked me in the face and covered me in poop.

If i tell you that i can't put people to be because they are a hoyer lift and the facility policy is that hoyers are a 2 person operation, do not tell me that you are behind on your med pass. i know how important the med pass is, but you should have thought of that BEFORE you took an hour and a half long break.

and last but not least...

I am a cna. yes i know that my one month training class pales in comparison to your 2 years at lpn school, but if you ever refer to cna's as glorified waitstaff, you'll get called a glorified drug dealer and you will get fired.

cna's rock.

[Not_A_Hat_Person, RN]

You've been on this case since November. The school bus arrives at 7:30 am. I arrive at 7:15 am. The client should be in his chair before 7:25 am.

Was it really necessary to change out of your scrubs as soon as I arrived? You couldn't change in the bathroom? What if Mom had walked in while you were half naked?

If something goes wrong during a drill, don't post on Facebook about it, especially during the drill. Yes, posts have time stamps.

If you decide to post on Facebook during a drill about problems with the drill, make sure none of you co-workers are Facebook friends. You don't know who will print out your post and show it to your boss.

[RNforLongTime]

You need to remember to properly sign out your narcotics AS YOU USE THEM!! THIS IS WHY THE COUNT IS OFF!! YET IF YOU were the oncoming shift and the narc count was short you would AND HAVE had a fit!!!

[redhead_NURSE98!, ADN, BSN]

YOUR EXPERIENCE ISN'T EVERYONE ELSE'S EXPERIENCE. THEY'RE NOT WRONG. YOU'RE NOT RIGHT. YOU'RE JUST DIFFERENT. No one's persecuting you, calling you stupid or disagreeing with you by sharing their different experience. By insisting otherwise, you come off as a know-it-all when we all know that you really have the life and work experience of a 15 year old. Have a nice day!

[ShayRN]

If you are so unhappy here, please do us all a favor and find a new job. We are tired of your constant complaining.

Please, take your medicine before you come to work. Yes, we can tell when you don't.

[ahintonRN]

-Maybe if you spent less time stocking flushes and alcohol wipes and more time checking on your patients, i would actually consider you a "real nurse"

-Just because I commented on your nice scrub hat doesn't mean I care that you have matching underwear...

-Yes we live in a small town. Yes this is a tiny hospital. No I do not care that you went to high school with all of my patients. You do not need to remind me every day.

-You are the CNA. I am the nurse. Do not voice your opinions about my care directly to the patients and their families. If you have a problem with what I'm doing, come to ME. That being said, do not tell my patient's son that his mama hasn't been turned all day.. when I JUST turned her for the umpteenth time today!

-If you cut a patient with scissors, be a man, grow a pair, and own up to it! Don't "forget" to tell me in report and let me take all the blame for your neglect.

-If the IV is due to be changed, CHANGE it! Don't tell me in report that it was supposed to be changed 3 days ago and that you just didn't feel like waking the patient to do it.

-If you have time to walk out of your office and announce there's a bed alarm going off, that means you heard the bed alarm and can check on it yourself.

[CNABESS]

You are lazy and a waste of time and space at this hospital! How dare you go into pt. rms. and change the tv. channel to your own preferred show, then have the gall to sit and watch it! All the while we are all out here running our collective tushes off. Yes, the pts. like you because you are so friendly and they enjoy your company. Thats because THE REST OF US are busy doing your work while you are in an air conditioned rm. on this 98 degree day enjoying Oprah. The pt. does not know that by spending 20 minutes behind the closed door chatting it up and pretending you are working, you are slacking. BTW when I finally was able to take my first break at 9:30 I did not appreciate the fact that I couldn't because you had decided to "take a quick one" and go outside for a smoke WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE. You really are a waste of time and space here, and as I am sure the hospital will figure out, a HUGE waste of their money. You still can't figure out why you are on probation status here??????????

[CNABESS]

PS. Our shift is 3p-11p. Do not announce at 10:15 that you have to go because you forgot to do so and so for your invalid husband. We all see him picking you up in his little sports car.

[Chixie]

Just shut the hell up or leave,seriously ive had enough and ive only been here 6 weeks.