Along the lines of the first thread, "Things you would love to say to your nursing instructors" I thought this would be a great thread to start. I've since graduated LVN but there was one main thing I wanted to say to some students in my class.
Will you people in the back row please stop talking! I swear that today I can still hear their motormouths running! :chuckle
When I am in the RN bridge I will come back and post some more. I'm sure some of you have something to get off your chest. Come on and unload here! :)
Oh man, what a great thread! I'm sure mine have been repeated ad nauseum, but it will make me feel better!
1) You're angry, judgmental, and you take the frustration you feel at your own incompetence out on every other person in the class. You make snap judgments about people, you ridicule people for asking questions, you constantly badmouth the professors. If you put half the effort into studying that you do into ******* and moaning and hating on people, you'd probably have grades more than one point away from failing. You suck.
2) You two: stop it with the public grabass. It's nauseating. Everybody knows you've hooked up and we don't want to see you snogging each other, okay?
3) You drama queens that come into every test on the verge of a panic attack and proceed to loudly study everything that you think is going to be on the test with the other drama queens need to ****. I know why you do poorly on tests, because I've had to listen to you do that crap for the past year. It's because you study irrelevant factoids and fail to focus on the bigger picture. This is advanced med/surg, ladies. Try brushing up on your pathophysiology. Hell, try brushing up on your anatomy.
4) Just because I am a woman doesn't mean I like pediatric nursing, okay? Your expressions of disgust and disbelief when I say I don't like kids are amusing. Not everybody thinks squealing little cabbages are cute. Maybe one day my own kids will be cute, but yours never will be, and neither will anybody else's.
5) Speaking of pediatric nursing: you know you talk to kids like they're dogs, right? That's how I have heard you talking to a five-year-old: like he was a dog and you were going to give him a biscuit. Believe it or not, children appreciate being talked to like they have brains.
6) Care plans are not hard. Nursing process. Ever hear of it? Try it sometime. It'll stop you from getting chewed out for stupid crap like "Risk for infection related to patient has an infection."
7) If you faint at the sight of blood, vomit at the smell of poop, think patients are whiny, annoying parasites, and think a six-hour clinical day is the hardest thing you've ever done in your life, why the hell are you becoming a nurse?
8) You. You will not pass the NCLEX on the first try. Probably not even on the second try. Would you like to know why? Because you actually getting into nursing school was some kind of accident. You are one of the dumbest people on God's green earth. You make Joe Biden look like Richard Feynman.
9) Walking into class after a test, where several people are in tears because they have failed, and loudly announcing that you make a 99 and didn't even study, is a rude, boneheaded thing to do. Hooray for you. Pat yourself on the back. Have some juice and a cookie. And ****.
10) My husband is nice and yes, he is very handsome. You can stop flirting with him now. He's here to take me to lunch. He does think it's cute, though. Sort of like a dog humping his leg.
11) You tools in the back: shut up. I am paying to listen to the professor talk, not you. Maybe you'd do better if you'd just SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTHS every once in a while.
12) Neither I, nor anyone else in the class, cares that your father's brother's uncle's nephew's former roommate had lupus. Really. You can shut up now.
Positives:
1) Thank you for always having a smile and a kind word for everybody in the class. You're probably the nicest person I know.
2) Thank you for lending me your stethoscope the day I forgot mine.
3) Thank you for not forcing me to make up clinical the day I found out my dad died.
4) Thank you for the productive study groups. You are a natural leader. You're smarter than me and I respect you. You're going to be a hell of a nurse someday.
To my incredibly insecure classmate with a personality disorder:
Quit talking about everyone behind their backs, it really does show your insecurities. 95% of us agree you must have a personality disorder, and we really don't like you. We're just being nice. I mean, why else would you fly off the handle in maternity clinicals? Why else would you act like an A$$ toward the sweetest clinical instructor we've had yet? You know it's bad when a nurse from clinicals pulls you aside and says "What's with the loose cannon?". There's a reason you didn't get to see deliveries during maternity clinicals. Hope you figure it out.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, quit joking to other people about this person being gay, or that person. Nobody really cares how long it's been since Anthony's seen a lady parts. We love him, and you made him feel incredibly uncomfortable telling the instructor just how long it had been, you dim-wit.
Another thing, yes I do make straight A's. I work hard for them. It's none of your business what my grades are. I don't know why you ask me what they are if it makes you feel so bad. I'm not in competition with you, we're not even in the same league honey.
Just because I did good on the first test and "okay" on the second and have a higher average in the class than you, doesn't mean I don't worry about my grades and it doesn't mean I don't have a right to complain, stress, or worry about how hard that test was. I'm not a genious, I have worked VERY hard to get the grades that I've gotten so far and I am continuously worried about that next test and I constantly wonder if I am cut out for this and worry that I'm not going to make it. It's not my fault you didn't do as good on the tests as I have, I wish you did and I'm not trying to compete with you. We are in the same boat, just because I got a few good grades doesn't mean I think that I'm better or smarter than you.
BTW, don't ask me what I got on the test if it's going to make you act this way. How would you have acted if I flunked it? Would that have made you feel better?
When we're in class for a pre-test REVIEW session, don't testily ask if we can move on when someone legitimately doesn't understand the rational for an answer--YOU can leave. The rest of us would like to learn.
When we're in class for a pre-test REVIEW session, don't testily ask if we can move on when someone legitimately doesn't understand the rational for an answer--YOU can leave. The rest of us would like to learn.
Seriously, what is wrong with people? It's these same people that ask common-sense questions ALL the time..yet when you ask a RELEVANT question, once, they get huffy. It makes me feel SO much better to read these replies! I swear it felt like it was only my classmates! I don't know WHAT makes nursing school students like this. It's like a DIFFERENT BREED COMPLETELY!
I know your mom is a nurse and that's great that she can help you study.. But the fact that she writes your 20 page nursing process papers AND does the revisions on them is complete ********. How are you ever going to learn?
I hate how you think you did "so bad" on every exam and when you pass it with flying colors you feel the need to brag about it all the time.
Please, please, PLEASE stop asking, "Is that testable?". If the instructor is going over it in class obviously it's important and we may need to know it someday!
Just because you're one of the few males in the class doesn't mean that you should be able to get away with anything you want to in class. Your ******** comments are really annoying!
To my instructor, I know there's another thread for this but I just wanna add it here while I'm at it, I can't believe you asked us the first day of clinical who didn't want to work with peds clients. We are in school to learn, we shouldn't have a choice on if we're assigned a peds client if we don't want it. I think we all should have to take care of a peds client at least once! It's a learning experience!
as much as i wish you all didn't have to experience this crap, i must say that it feels SO good to know that i'm not the only one going through it all! :) it's always helpful to know you're not alone in your frustrations.
there are so many stresses in nursing school, but it is SO worth it. we may not be able to control the environment around us or what everyone else does, but we can control what WE put into it...and that's what will carry us to the end.
Specializes in Hospice & Palliative Care, Oncology, M/S.
Just because I missed a question on the quiz and you didn't doesn't mean you're more fabulous than I am. Don't pat me on the arm and tell me "oh honey it's okay". Shut. Up. It is NOT okay.
*Wags finger*
caffeineRx
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