Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight.
I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave.
Yelling and hurling obscenities at me will not get you your pain meds any sooner than they are ordered. Nor will having your family member or entourage do the same.
Threatening lawsuits and having umpteen family members camp out in the halls or hold up the nurse's station will not get you preferential treatment.
Physically grabbing me as I go down the hall is NOT a good idea.
I do not give the orders, but I do have to follow/enforce them. This is something that you should take up with your doctor.
No, I will not call him again to ask him for more pain medicine. He has been called twice and has said no both times.
No, I will not give you his number so you can "straighten him out".
No, you are not my only patient, and I highly doubt that you are single-handedly paying my salary. On the off chance that you are, let's talk about a raise.
NO, NO, NO, I most empahatically will NOT come get you when it is time for your next pain shot while you are having a smoke break. I also will not bring it to you in the smoking room. (Have actually said that, I am allergic to cigarettes. I did it once, had an asthma attack, desatted to 83, and turned blue, according to the patient and my charge nurse, after the patient had to help me back to the floor).
No, I don't really care if your family has not eaten all day, they drove here by themselves, they are not sick, and no, I will not call for 6 guest trays. (This of course, is if the patient in question does not need all 6 family members present, and is not at death's door).
No, you may not have 3 six-packs of soda from the kitchen, there are other people that would like a snack, too.
No, they will not open up the kitchen up just for you, at 1 in the morning, because you don't like the snacks we have on the floor.
I could think of hundreds, but those will do for a start. I know it sounds mean, but this is why I got out of bedside nursing. When a hospital becomes the Hilton, I'm gone!
depends on the bipap. but yes, i've seen them with bags of sterile water. some have actual humidifiers attached.
that makes total sense...i guess i just never thought of it :doh: (i should note that i am a new nurse.)
but i digress...here's my rant for today:
to patients' families: i know you are concerned about your loved one, but can you please not all call me at 0800 to get a detailed update on them? i'm new, i'm slow and no, i haven't seen them yet.
If anyone has worked with drug addicts and alcoholics you know what I am talking about when they tell you "I need meds cause I am gonna get sick". I always wanted to say, "Yeah it pretty much looks that way."
Here's one: I can certainly get you water, candy, etc..-but must you make this request from two inches away from my face? In my experience-all 26 years-when people get this close to you they are either about to kiss you or hit you. I don't want you to do either one, please let me have my space.
Oh my God. I just scared my cat by laughing so loud at that. Who THINKS that kind of stuff, let alone says it? lol
Sigh....the dad of one of my patient's DID say that. Had it been earlier in my night shift, I would have found it funnier....but somehow humor goes out of the window at 4am. Just let me take the dern rectal temp!! LOL It was his first child, so I kinda would give him a pass...little does he know, he's had his share of thermometers stuck up his behind when he was a baby lol
Patient's Mom: He is so fussy...what is wrong with him?
Me: Let me recheck his temp. The tylenol we gave him an hour ago should have helped, but let me do that and look him over to see what else may be wrong.
What I really wanted to say: Aren't you the mom?? How the f*** would I know why he's crying!! His diaper is full of urine and poop, but when I asked to change him, you said no. He keeps holding out his hands to the bottle of milk, too....MAYBE HE'S FUSSY BECAUSE HE'S STINKY AND HUNGRY!! ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE HIS MOTHER?
Needless to say, I got him a new bottle of milk...slept like a baby for the rest of the night.
Patient's Mom: He is so fussy...what is wrong with him?
Me: Let me recheck his temp. The tylenol we gave him an hour ago should have helped, but let me do that and look him over to see what else may be wrong.
What I really wanted to say: Aren't you the mom?? How the f*** would I know why he's crying!! His diaper is full of urine and poop, but when I asked to change him, you said no. He keeps holding out his hands to the bottle of milk, too....MAYBE HE'S FUSSY BECAUSE HE'S STINKY AND HUNGRY!! ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE HIS MOTHER?
Needless to say, I got him a new bottle of milk...slept like a baby for the rest of the night.
Poor kid. Stories like these make the cynical side of me think some people shouldn't procreate.
Do NOT tell the Live Answer staff that you're having SOB and difficulty breathing and then backpedal and state "I don't know what they're talking about" when I ask you the same thing (I was triaging today) and state that you have been having rectal bleeding x 1 day. Do NOT lie to me or to the staff--I won't be able to trust you or anything that comes out of your mouth!
*I realize that you are incontinent of diarrhea, and maybe you really can't control when it comes out. But I just spent 30 mins cleaning feces off you you while you just laid there like slug. Can I atleast get a thank you??? My back is broken, and Ive been ignoring my other pt's all night b/c you have soiled yourself 5x on my shift and Ive been in your room for the past 3 hours cleaning you up. If someone had to clean diarrhea off of me, I promise you I would thank them. I dont think its that much to ask for.
*It's 3AM. We dont need to go for a walk around the floor right now. Why aren't you sleeping?!??!
* To the daughter of an incontinent, elderly pt.-Maybe instead of sitting on your blessed assurance and texting on your phone, maybe you could help us hold mom so we can clean her? Or atleast act like you have some interest in whats going on.
*To the wife of a confused pt- Maam, I realize hospital stays can be tiring. But while you are laid up with your mouth wide open snoring so loud you're sucking the wall paper off the wall, your husband is getting out of bed, staggering into the hallway and just pulled his NG out b/c he is confused...and you dont even flinch through any of it. (I finally had to put the bed alarm on, and she even slept through that!)
"That's all right, stand there and act like a liar." He stormed out, cussing the whole way, with a waiting room full of patients. And his wife had the gall to still try and give us his info.
"That's OK, ma'am, he won't be going on our list." She stood there for a minute, gawping at me, then left. What I'd have loved to say at that point....
"Did you just stand here and watch the same behavior I did? And you still think we're going to take him as a patient?!?"
What you said originally was far colder than what you really wanted to say. Had you said the latter she would have tried to justify his behavior. Your original comment just left her dumbfounded.
I told you 6 times I don't know when the doctor will come in. It suprises me as much as it does you.
No I will not call for non-urgent issues. I told you that already. I left a note and it will be addressed in the morning. You had a BM 2 days ago - you don't have constipation and it's not an emergency.
Please shut up and go to sleep before I explode.
I don't know what your x-ray says. I don't have access to that. The doctor will let you know. I told you that three times. What part do you not understand?
No, I don't know why he ordered another x-ray. Refer to the above.
I don't have the authority to let you go to your son's graduation. You NEED to be in the hospital. You can't check out and in like a hotel. Sorry.
If you don't want me to change your NG - stop complaining about how uncomfortable/irritating it is everytime I come in. I really don't care since you just want to whine.
You are told to be NPO for a reason. Stop sneaking in drinks. That messes with the NG output and affects your care. Stop asking your son to lie for you.
I can't take the NG tube out. That's a doctor's order. Besides, that's the reason you are here for. We did not put it in for sh!ts and giggles.
I'm not going to bring you a bedpan so that you can soak the bed again. Get up and use the bathroom or the commode. You are a young woman and completely independent.
You are not ordered a sleeping pill and it's 4 oclock in the morning. I left a note for the doctor to order it in the morning so you can have it the following night.
I said I can't give you sleeping pill now. I legally cannot.
I was soooooooooooo glad to leave! I had sicker pts and this lady took up all my time and made my whole day busy and miserable.
Really, there is no need to get naked when your chief complaint is an earache. I've seen it before, I don't want to see it again, and for heaven's sake, please stop fondling your junk while I'm talking to you!
What you said originally was far colder than what you really wanted to say. Had you said the latter she would have tried to justify his behavior. Your original comment just left her dumbfounded.
opossum
202 Posts
that makes total sense...i guess i just never thought of it :doh: (i should note that i am a new nurse.)
but i digress...here's my rant for today:
to patients' families: i know you are concerned about your loved one, but can you please not all call me at 0800 to get a detailed update on them? i'm new, i'm slow and no, i haven't seen them yet.