Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight.
I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave.
Yelling and hurling obscenities at me will not get you your pain meds any sooner than they are ordered. Nor will having your family member or entourage do the same.
Threatening lawsuits and having umpteen family members camp out in the halls or hold up the nurse's station will not get you preferential treatment.
Physically grabbing me as I go down the hall is NOT a good idea.
I do not give the orders, but I do have to follow/enforce them. This is something that you should take up with your doctor.
No, I will not call him again to ask him for more pain medicine. He has been called twice and has said no both times.
No, I will not give you his number so you can "straighten him out".
No, you are not my only patient, and I highly doubt that you are single-handedly paying my salary. On the off chance that you are, let's talk about a raise.
NO, NO, NO, I most empahatically will NOT come get you when it is time for your next pain shot while you are having a smoke break. I also will not bring it to you in the smoking room. (Have actually said that, I am allergic to cigarettes. I did it once, had an asthma attack, desatted to 83, and turned blue, according to the patient and my charge nurse, after the patient had to help me back to the floor).
No, I don't really care if your family has not eaten all day, they drove here by themselves, they are not sick, and no, I will not call for 6 guest trays. (This of course, is if the patient in question does not need all 6 family members present, and is not at death's door).
No, you may not have 3 six-packs of soda from the kitchen, there are other people that would like a snack, too.
No, they will not open up the kitchen up just for you, at 1 in the morning, because you don't like the snacks we have on the floor.
I could think of hundreds, but those will do for a start. I know it sounds mean, but this is why I got out of bedside nursing. When a hospital becomes the Hilton, I'm gone!
I know, "Mrs. Selfish Princess", that you think your situation is sooooooooo unique nobody "understands". "Nobody" knows the depth of your hurt.
That's why you are acting like a 50 year-old brat toward the hospital staff... uh huh.
And I enjoyed the whole, "How would YOU feel---??" schpeel you gave me.
Great.
Now hear this shocker: Been there, done that, Princess. You're preaching to the choir. The difference between me and you? Coping skills.
Either let's work on fixing that little problem or just admit you love the drama of being a victim.... and shut up.
I'm not usually so nasty because some people DO need help finding those coping skills in times of crisis, but some people absolutely do not want that help. That is a real problem in itself and recognize that. But, it is still positively frustrating!
Uh no...you can not have IV Benadryl..the doc has prescribed po. You're itching? Hmmm..what do you do at home for it? Wow, take po Benadryl..you should be all set.
No, you can't have IV Benadryl..I just told you the doc said no. And by the way, you can't have IV Phenergan, Ativan, Norco, and the po Benadryl at the same time. I'm sorry you want a buzz...it's not happening here. The doc said you can't have it all at the same time, quit bugging me about it.
3 hours later: "I'm still itching" as you're weaving in the bed, refusing to take your po Benadryl...for the last time: NO YOU CAN'T HAVE IV BENADRYL!!!! THE DOC SAID NO!
It was a long 3 nights. And every night the same...can I have IV Benadryl?
ROFL -- first thing I thought was, "So that's where Patient X went...."
I know, "Mrs. Selfish Princess", that you think your situation is sooooooooo unique nobody "understands". "Nobody" knows the depth of your hurt.
That's why you are acting like a 50 year-old brat toward the hospital staff... uh huh.
And I enjoyed the whole, "How would YOU feel---??" schpeel you gave me.
Great.
Now hear this shocker: Been there, done that, Princess. You're preaching to the choir. The difference between me and you? Coping skills.
Either let's work on fixing that little problem or just admit you love the drama of being a victim.... and shut up.
I'm not usually so nasty because some people DO need help finding those coping skills in times of crisis, but some people absolutely do not want that help. That is a real problem in itself and recognize that. But, it is still positively frustrating!
There is no way on earth that I could say this better, and I truly understand. (Too bad the one person in my life who really needed to hear this died 6 years ago)
I mean who really thinks it's ok for their 5 year old to spend the night in the hospital with them, while they are puking their guts out, really?? Kids upset because parent is ill, the other parent is passed out sleeping through it all, because she just worked a double at a rival hospital!??!! Meanwhile, security and PD are escorting out unruly visitors down the hall who are interfering with pt care...and we are trying to get social work and adult protective service involved on the wife of a pt, she has alzheimer's and her family dumped her on us while the husband is in the hospital. She gets lost walking in the halls, and even other visitors are concerned about her.
You are not my only patient. You are not close to being my sickest patient.
I am sorry you (allegedly) had to wait five hours for someone to replace that half-full jug of room-temperature water with - what was it again? Oh yes, clean, fresh water with not too much ice and a little lemon flavouring. You are not my patient, I just came in when I saw your buzzer on. Your nurse is in with an ex-ICU patient who just perfed his bowel and is pre-arrest. You are not his only patient. You are not even close to being his sickest patient, and that means sometimes you have to wait.
"You've been pregnant for 9 months and you didn't havetime to make arrangements for your older children to be looked after while you were in the hospital??"
i don't now how to post the cartoon itself, but today's joe vanilla was absolutely wonderful! it shows a nurse talking to a doctor and she says, "i checked your patient in 433. turns out she just needed a good swift kick!"
1. I think it's wonderful that you are the Great White Spirit and Jesus in one person...I also think it's 'neat' that you can, according to you, teleport to Philadelphia in 7 minutes flat...I do not know, however, if Risperdal Consta will interfere with your teleportation abilities...let me give it to you anyway and you can tell me later if it you were able to go!
So, DID it interfere with his/her ability to teleport?
You are not my only patient. You are not close to being my sickest patient.
I am sorry you (allegedly) had to wait five hours for someone to replace that half-full jug of room-temperature water with - what was it again? Oh yes, clean, fresh water with not too much ice and a little lemon flavouring. You are not my patient, I just came in when I saw your buzzer on. Your nurse is in with an ex-ICU patient who just perfed his bowel and is pre-arrest. You are not his only patient. You are not even close to being his sickest patient, and that means sometimes you have to wait.
I do not understand this mentality of patients. As I have said to one of my nurses before when she was upset because she felt like she had been ignoring me all shift:
"I am HAPPY you were not in here all the time. You NOT being in here means you do not think I am your most serious patient. If you WERE in here all the time it would mean that I was REALLY sick and I don't want that"
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
i just love the "i'm a doctor" or "i'm his doctor" one when they're a phd in rocket science or nanotechnology. i'm sure you're very smart, but you aren't a medical doctor, so hand that chart back!
Hygiene Queen
2,232 Posts
I know, "Mrs. Selfish Princess", that you think your situation is sooooooooo unique nobody "understands". "Nobody" knows the depth of your hurt.
That's why you are acting like a 50 year-old brat toward the hospital staff... uh huh.
And I enjoyed the whole, "How would YOU feel---??" schpeel you gave me.
Great.
Now hear this shocker: Been there, done that, Princess. You're preaching to the choir. The difference between me and you? Coping skills.
Either let's work on fixing that little problem or just admit you love the drama of being a victim.... and shut up.
I'm not usually so nasty because some people DO need help finding those coping skills in times of crisis, but some people absolutely do not want that help. That is a real problem in itself and recognize that. But, it is still positively frustrating!