things I didn't learn in nursing school

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Hi, I am wanting to put a list of the top 10 things nurses don't learn in nursing school. You know like on Letterman. I would really appreciate any and all input.

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

A person can have a bowel movement that shoots 10 ft across the room.

(Go-Lytely, go figure)

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A person can have a bowel movement that shoots 10 ft across the room.

(Go-Lytely, go figure)

I hear that one Marie....Whoever came up with that name anyway.. :uhoh21:

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It will not take three reference books and 5 hours to write your nursing careplan. Ours are pre-printed; just note the exceptions and you are done.

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the chances of being vomited on within the first hour of your shift is 99.9%:uhoh3:

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undefined I could probably write a book on that one, but the primary lesson I never learned in nursing school is that I can be, will be, & have been assaulted by patients.

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A person can have a bowel movement that shoots 10 ft across the room.

(Go-Lytely, go figure)

:chuckle :chuckle :chuckle

And a lugi can be coughed out of a trach at warp speed, making it impossible to dodge. But, the incident gets played back in your brain in slow motion.

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Specializes in A myriad of specialties.

WOW...what an interesting thread--I've already enjoyed the responses!:)

Here are mine:

1) "Real-nursing-life time managment"--you know--train students the RIGHT way--give them 3+ weeks experience managing 3-4 CNAs,30-40 Alzheimers pts, 15 of which are IDDM, 5 of which have G-tubes and require them to pass meds, do assessments, do tx, get a couple of admissions--all during an 8-hr shift. Do the same thing with assigning students to several hospital pts.

2) Extensive IV training--there is really NO reason for nurses to have to learn this AFTER nursing school.

3) Experience/Rotation in a hospice setting

4) Basic computer class--I see a lot of hospitals are using bedside(or at least outside the pt's room)computers to document meds/tx,progress notes these days--and maybe such a thing is taught in today's nursing schools--we had no such thing 19 yrs ago when I went to nsg. school.

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It will not take three reference books and 5 hours to write your nursing careplan. Ours are pre-printed; just note the exceptions and you are done.

OMG! Now they come up with that. How I would have loved to have those when I was in nursing school, and spent untold hours sweating over my care plans. While I tried to balance numerous reference books all over my lap and desk. Let me tell you - enjoy them and never complain. You are very lucky.

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Hi, I am wanting to put a list of the top 10 things nurses don't learn in nursing school. /QUOTE]

That you CANNOT save the world

Not every pt will praise your efforts.

To avoid wearing white at ALL costs.!

No, nurses DO NOT wear nursing hats, anymore

more serious......

You will not always get immediate urine return from catheterizing males

You will not always get blood return from portacaths, especially old ones

Some patients dont really need a bath EVERY SHIFT.

Theres not aways time for "therapeutic conversation" or pt teaching

How to NEGOTIATE salaries - supply and demand

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Specializes in CICu, ICU, med-surg.
4) Basic computer class--I see a lot of hospitals are using bedside(or at least outside the pt's room)computers to document meds/tx,progress notes these days--and maybe such a thing is taught in today's nursing schools--we had no such thing 19 yrs ago when I went to nsg. school.

A lot of schools are now requiring computer literacy courses. Mine does. Everyone who attends the university has to either take the class or clep out with a test.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

1. that patients who swear they don't drink can still manage to have d.t.s

2. that patients who apologize profusely for hitting/kicking/swearing at you will nevertheless do it again the very first chance they get.

3. that part of our job is to prevent the house staff from killing the patients.

4. that there is no such thing as a "functional family." there's only the dysfunctional kind.

5. that metamucil will indeed go through an ng tube, and it makes the stools ever so much more manageable!

6. that three nurses at dinner with a non-medical person can (and usually do) gross that person out!

7. that i can clean up no end of nasty messes at work, but still throw up when i have to clean up after the dog . . . now why is that?

8. that wearing white is totally incompatible with actually doing a nursing job.

9. that i'd have to know how to type.

10. that i could do this job for 27 years and still love it!

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