things I didn't learn in nursing school

Nurses General Nursing

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Hi, I am wanting to put a list of the top 10 things nurses don't learn in nursing school. You know like on Letterman. I would really appreciate any and all input.

That sometimes you will call a doc with a critical change and he will ignore everything you tell him and decide to do nothing.

You can't save every patient. You can't catch everything or fix everything, even when you try 110%.

There are some patients that no one will ever be able to please.

That when it comes to administration, everything boils down to money. Everything.

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As a student entering an RN program this January I found these comments to be very enlightening (some of them also very comical). Thank you to the member who thought about coming up with this list, I'll keep them in mind as I go thru my clinicals!!!

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1. How to lead / manage people... and how to effectively supervise assistive personnel while a) not bullying them and b) making sure the job gets done

2. If you don't get the foley in the first time, don't panic. Leave it in the lady parts and start with a fresh one!

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

that 2 or 3 liters of blood could go so dayum far.....

pp hemorrhages are a sight to behold, and FEAR.

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:chuckle :chuckle :chuckle

And a lugi can be coughed out of a trach at warp speed, making it impossible to dodge. But, the incident gets played back in your brain in slow motion.

:nono: yes, that's why you NEVER stand at the foot of the bed of a patient who has a trach!!!!! :roll

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Specializes in Emergency, Orthopaedics, plastics.

Heres a few of mine...

1 - That you have to see people in A&E who broke their nail 3 weeks ago and were just passing by...

2 - That nurses can compete by seeing who had the patient they had to remove objects best left un-named from places best left un-said.

3 - Venipuncture and cannulation

4 - That you might manage a perfect a-septic wound care technique, but that some patient's deem to spoil it all by sticking their fingers in open wounds...

5 - That some people expect you to be able to solve all their life's problems while getting a bedpan for the person in the next bed...

6 - That there are some shifts that can go so horribly wrong you just feel like sitting in a corner and falling into a coma (I had two of these in a row in October... I am newly qualified, had been working on the ward for 4 weeks... and I turned up for work on a saturday to find just 1 other nurse working that shift on a ward that has a normal minimum staff level of 6 qualified and 2 auxuillary... and the agency nurse that I was assigned to work under my direction turned up 3 hours late and was so dodgy that she might as well have not been there... and the Sunday was the same - all I can say... and did by getting them the biggest box of chocolates i could find - was THANK GOD for the 3 1st year students that decided to work that weekend!)

(p.s. If anyone was wondering why i mention a ward AND an A&E department, thats because I have 2 jobs in 2 different hospitals... One in central London (my main job) on a Trauma ward, and the other in my local hospital (that it doesnt take me an hour and a half to commute), working 1 day a week in the A&E)

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A person can have a bowel movement that shoots 10 ft across the room.

(Go-Lytely, go figure)

LOL LOL :rotfl: :rotfl: I had one that was spraying it out her butt and dripped off Triadyne bed and on the floor and almost made it out the door!!! :chuckle

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1. that patients who swear they don't drink can still manage to have d.t.s

2. that patients who apologize profusely for hitting/kicking/swearing at you will nevertheless do it again the very first chance they get.

3. that part of our job is to prevent the house staff from killing the patients.

4. that there is no such thing as a "functional family." there's only the dysfunctional kind.

5. that metamucil will indeed go through an ng tube, and it makes the stools ever so much more manageable!

6. that three nurses at dinner with a non-medical person can (and usually do) gross that person out!

7. that i can clean up no end of nasty messes at work, but still throw up when i have to clean up after the dog . . . now why is that?

8. that wearing white is totally incompatible with actually doing a nursing job.

9. that i'd have to know how to type.

10. that i could do this job for 27 years and still love it!

ruby, how about these: patients that say they drink only 2 glasses of beer, double or triple that! :rolleyes:

i have to have my husband clean up after the dog - both vomitus and stool, or i get sick too. can deal with all the messes at work too and not even blink :uhoh21:

i've done this job for 33 years and still love it, and recommend it to anyone interested in a diverse profession! :)

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It's interesting that this thread was started...a couple of co-workers and myself were discussing writing a booklet for just this thing!

Here are my contributions:

1. Keep up with research, and share it and implement it on your unit.

2. Don't be afraid to challenge things you believe are wrong - even though the other person is "so much more experienced" than you.

3. Bed baths are a great way to assess your patient, and to educate them.

4. If you don't like the way something is done, don't complain, do something to change it.

5. When death is imminent, turning the patient on their left side may hasten it.

6. Sometimes patients just need to be told that it's ok to go.

7. Be sure to mark organ donor on your driver's license.

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10. Hospital cafeteria food is considered haute cuisine.

9. How to enjoy working holidays with your friends...at work.

8. Ask a patient their medical history and they will tell you everything from the time they were 10 years old or nothing at all.

7. Ask a patient their allergies and they will state none...later to have an allergic reaction and say "Oh yeah, I forgot about that!"

6. Drug-seekers.

5. Getting hold of the doctor that admitted the patient at 2am.

4. Mountain Dew is better than those energy drinks.

3. No urine? Let's foley!

2. Parent with fussy child will bring the entire neighborhood with them for "moral support".

1. White is over-rated!

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Specializes in Government.

I never learned African-American skin care in school. It took a Nigerian RN to teach me after she saw a very ashy 3 year old I had bathed within an inch of his life.

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That no matter how many times you ask your coronary care patient if he is having any chest pain he will flat out deny it until his cardiologist comes in. Then when the doctor asks him he will say he has "been having it all day doc!" :uhoh3:

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