These parents are killing me

[MHDNURSE]

So I get an email last night from one of my new K teachers, telling me that one of her students is to have "no dairy products at all, under ANY circumstances", per mom at pick-up yesterday. I of course start panicking, thinking I missed it on the health form. We provide school lunch for all students for free, and have a few with dairy/egg allergies that we order a special egg free/dairy free meal for.

So I just get to work and run to my files and pull our the bright orange sheet that all parents fill out. Allergies? NO. Food sensitivities? NO. OK, so I am feeling like at least my butt is covered. Then I look at the signed health form from physician. Allergies? NO. Hmmmmmm...

I just spoke with mom. She says "Oh, it isn't that she is allergic, it's that I am a vegan and would prefer she not have any dairy products, or any animal products". So I tell her that unfortunately, while our meal service can provide a vegetarian option and an egg free/dairy free option, there is no vegan option. She says no problem, I have been packing her a lunch every day so it is fine. So then I say "And what would you like us to do when a child brings in cake/cupcakes for a birthday celebration"? She says "Oh, then it's fine and she can have one- I don;t want her to feel left out". Is it just me that finds this completely ridiculous? This picking and choosing drives me NUTS. If you are going to make a huge stink about your snowflake consuming anything with a drop of dairy, then why is it suddenly OK for her to have cakes and cupcakes????

OK, my daily vent is over.

[NanaPoo]

A doc note should be required. My SIL self-diagnoses her kids with multiple different food allergies. Meals at my in-laws were tragic until I, thankfully, extracted myself from that gosh-awful mess.

Thank goodness she homeschools. Otherwise she'd be one more mom driving some poor school nurse completely bananas right now.

[KKEGS, MSN, RN]

Wouldn't a dr note be required to keep the kid in on those days? Then the dr note would also apply to the nature center excursions. Mom would have no say.

That was my take on the situation but our lead nurse advised me to just let it go. It was kind of one of those pick-your-battle situations and she usually when it involved a field trip, which of course parents don't want their kids to miss, they would usually just let the parent have their way.

In many other situations we were insistent that we had to follow a doctor's orders but for whatever reason when it came to field trips or recess our practices were so loosey-goosey. It got pretty annoying.

[Cattz, ADN]

the answer to that question is actually quite simple: Parents (or in a hospital setting - the family of a patient) are blissfully unaware of the actual work involved that goes into something they decide as an afterthought, snap decision.

Sadly, "make it happen" is an attitude some people adopt as their "right" without truly understanding the effort it requires to fulfill this week's whimsical decision. As is often the case when people have no clue, the requests can at times become quite time consuming, and they never once give it a second thought of how they would feel in the same scenario at their own place of employment.

Children aren't the only one's who can be snowflakes - i know quite a few of their adult counterparts too.

Apparently "snowflakism" is actually a predisposing condition genetically passed down as an autosomal dominant trait on the karyogram portion of the dna strand, which is the cytogenetic basis of certain phenotypes of the snowflake parent.

Because this disorder is autosomally dominant, you don't need two snowflake genetic donors to result in the trait, as the child needs to inherit only one copy of the deleterious allele to manifest snowflakism.

On a positive note, due to the capricious nature of those effected with snowflakism - which is subject to change without warning, these pseudo-dietary restrictions may suddenly vanish without warning once the littler snowflake begins to protest to mom.

This. Is. Brilliant!! Can we get a standing ovation for this fine dissertation??!! (looked for a "clapping little smiley guy" But I couldn't find one!)

[moreoreo]

I liked every single post in this thread

I have a list of food allergies 30 deep to investigate. I started middle of last year and a lot of our health office notes say things like "mom and dad say no longer allergic to XYZ" without documentation and poor teachers are reaching out, "how allergic is so-and-so to XYZ?" and half the parents are very hard to reach. Like others have said, sometimes parent claims an allergy to ABC only to start asking us to let the student have ABC because they mistook an intolerance for an allergy. (I understand that not everyone truly understands the word "allergy" and the red flags it raises, but still!) I am trying to get actual MD paperwork for all our allergies but how could I dismiss an allergy claim until I know for sure? There are parents who mentioned an allergy to me at registration and I gave them the pertinent forms to have filled out but then they disappear and I can't reach them.

The time consuming flip-flopping is especially impossible when you have nervous teachers who want all the info right. now. (I say this with all fondness and respect; I would not want to be in their shoes) and you are trying to sleuth out the details while seeing 40 students daily the first week of school. I wish I had 10 of me to cut through all the confusion right off the bat but I have to remember that school nursing like all nursing is in its own way a 24/7 job no finish line!

[CapeCodMermaid, RN]

Makes me wonder what the school nurse said about me when I was a little kid. I had to stay in during recess because I had a congenital heart condition. We didn't have any field trips that I remember until the 5th or 6th grade and by that time I had had corrective surgery.

[BeckyESRN]

The fact that a teacher asks "how allergic" a student is really speaks to the root of this problem. All of these allergies of convenience really distract from the kiddos with true life-threatening allergies. I'm seeing more and more allergies being listed, when in reality, little Timmy doesn't like it or gets gas or it upsets his tummy, or mommy thinks gluten-free is trendy. It's a major distraction from the true allergies. Add to that the parents who insist their child is allergic to an ingredient everyday except when someone brings in a treat or except when it's pizza day and it makes untrained people believe that allergies are negotiable.

[NutmeggeRN, BSN]

oh boy...not stepping in THAT pile of poo

[NutmeggeRN, BSN]

Makes me wonder what the school nurse said about me when I was a little kid. I had to stay in during recess because I had a congenital heart condition. We didn't have any field trips that I remember until the 5th or 6th grade and by that time I had had corrective surgery.

Was it diagnosed at that point and was school aware of it? Then no reason for any comment. If not diagnosed, it can be a challenge sometimes to ferret out likes/dislike vs needs

[janetpa]

I have a new student this year with a "deadly allergy to peanuts". First day he comes with no Epipen even though the health form says he needs one. Called the mom who said that her life is really busy and he will bring one the next day. Next day he brings in the Epipen with a peanut bar and a sticky note attached that says "in case he gets hungry". I looked at the boy and said "you know you can't eat peanuts right?" He said "yes. she always does this--i think she is trying to kill me" Called the mom---and she apologized saying "my bad". Mother of the year----I wanna adopt the kid

[JenTheSchoolRN, BSN, RN]

I have a new student this year with a "deadly allergy to peanuts". First day he comes with no Epipen even though the health form says he needs one. Called the mom who said that her life is really busy and he will bring one the next day. Next day he brings in the Epipen with a peanut bar and a sticky note attached that says "in case he gets hungry". I looked at the boy and said "you know you can't eat peanuts right?" He said "yes. she always does this--i think she is trying to kill me" Called the mom---and she apologized saying "my bad". Mother of the year----I wanna adopt the kid

WOW. Glad this kid appears to be well versed in his allergies, at least.

[NurseBeans, BSN, RN, EMT-B]

I am dealing with much of the same. I have my list at home this weekend, in fact, and am working on which classrooms have to be peanut free, etc.

I actually developed a little questionnaire which I sent home with all the kids who had a documented allergy, whether it was documented by parent or physician. It was just epi pen yes/no, action plan from physician yes/no, do you want your kid at the allergen free table yes/no, and is your child aware of their allergy and can they monitor their own food intake yes/no. Then I got a signature and date at the bottom and BOOM I have in writing "how allergic" the kid might be. A few actually put on there "my kid has no allergies". Now I have to work on proof but at least I won't have to put restrictions on the classroom all year. It's in writing what the parent wants to happen.

I guess I should say that for the kids with epi-pens and action plans there are no further questions. But of the 20 or so "allergies" I found, there are 4 of those. So 80% of the allergies reported (at my school at least) are nonsense. Good to know, right?

[MrNurse(x2), ADN]

I made an announcement at our back to school night that we have a TRUE peanut allergy (every other "peanut allergy" student eats Chick Fil A every week) and I got nasty responses from parents that I would say such a thing. Now I have a list of these sensitivities that do not need the nut free table. Uh, I knew that! I really believe parents nowadays want a diagnosis to have their child stand out.