Not every family who visits is there to be supportive of the patient. Some of them are even downright unsupportive. Here are some of the worst visitors I've ever seen -- how about you?
There was the woman who'd had an aortic dissection repair, and things didn't go well. She had a perioperitive MI, a CVA and sepsis. All told, she was a patient in our ICU for six months. I didn't hear much about the patient's life from HER; she was confused and mostly nonverbal.
Her sister, however, sat at her bedside for hours and wanted to chat with the nurse. The sister, Katie, was a nice person and since I had just moved to the area, gave me a lot of tips about restaurants to try, where NOT to get your car repaired, and the like.
The HUSBAND, Milton, rarely showed up and when he did, he was the type of man who bellowed about "his rights" rather than understanding that when the patient is in CT (or having a line placed), the patient is unavailable for visitors, even of the spousal nature.
Katie put up pictures in the patient's room -- a smiling picture of her and her sister together, and multiple pictures of the patient's beloved dogs. "They're just like her children," Katie explained. "Milton never wanted children." Tellingly, there were no picture of Milton in the room.
He and Katie barely spoke and Katie told us that when Milton married her sister, he quit working and expected that she would support him, do all the cooking and cleaning and take care of his mother as well. As for the patient, she lit up whenever Katie arrived, but shut down whenever Milton did.
One weekend afternoon, Milton showed up just as I was helping the patient's nurse finish a bath and linen change. Without waiting for the two of us to finish up or get the dirty linen out of the way, Milton leaned over the bed and whispered (loudly enough for the patient and both of the nurses in the room to hear) "I killed your dogs. I said I would do it, and I did." That man has to take the prize for being ONE of the worst hospital visitors I've ever seen.
Years ago, when I worked in CCU, a 58 year old woman was admitted in cardiogenic shock. We placed a balloon pump, lined her, gave her multiple doses of morphine and finally, scheduled surgery for the following day. (The surgeon wanted to do it immediately, but there was already an emergency surgery in progress and the on call OR team were already in that OR.)
At six the next morning, I'm filling out the pre-op check list and a woman breezes in with two toddlers in tow. As I tried to explain to her that visitors under sixteen weren't allowed in the CCU, she told me that she had "just come to drop off her kids for their granny to watch."
Then there was the visitor who injected the patient with some street drug, right through the conveniently placed central line, because "Y'all don't give him none of the good stuff in here."
This is ridiculous. My mouth dropped to the floor.
The worst patient I ever had was an older woman (50) having sex in a semi-private room. (with her 30 year old son.) Needless to say, everybody got called into that situation, SW, APS, nurse manager, risk management.( The roommate got moved to another room.)
These are worse than my stories but I have a few. I have experienced the visitor who brings the elderly Alzheimer patient and leaves them too. This guy was mobile at least, but we would find him out in the hallway with no idea where he was or where he was supposed to be. We would have to lead him back to his wife's room. When the family came to pick him up, they said, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought he would stay in the room with Mom".
I've experienced the ones who camp out in the patient's rooms, use the patient's shower and ask you for every thing they think they could get from you for free. Can I get some of those no slip socks? Is there any way I could get a tray too? (or find them eating the patient's food), toothpaste, toothbrush, etc.... Could you take my blood pressure, blood sugar? etc. If it's a once in awhile thing, it's no big deal, but constantly....
We had a patient who came in with a cerebral bleed from a fall. Wife's story was that she and patient had gotten into an argument, which was overheard by their grown kids, and he went into bathroom and then she heard a crash and found him on the floor. Came in by ambulance and patient found to have large bleed with poor prognosis. Wife decided to make patient comfort measures only and sat by his side for the days it took him to die. She was frustrated because it was taking him so long to die. She asked me if he would die faster if she held her hand over his nose and mouth!!!! I responded, "yes, but that would be murder". Needless to say, we started watching her like a hawk when she was in the room. I've often wondered if she pushed him during that argument.
Some people is just a hot mess. I would of called the animal patrol, rights....on that Milton, what a terrible person to do that to dogs and then have the audacity to come to a hospital and say that to his sick wife. He is sickening!
Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.
Who even thinks of that?
Working in healthcare in various capacities and now as a nurse I can still be amazed about what some people have so much free time to come up with to do. Night shift in a busy ED was always an enlightening experience...
I was in a paediatric ward and had come in at 7AM for the hand over and at 11AM I had just come back from my break which wasn't even that long and two parents of a child who had come in were standing around so naturally I approached them and asked if I could help them. They began telling me that they had been "standing here for ages" so I politely told them that I am sorry they had to wait and had just come from my break but I was more than happy to help them to which they sarcastically responded "oh, so they have breaks now when they should be doing their job". Now I'm more than happy to cut short a break or delay one entirely if it means that someone needs my help but since there was an entire wall between me and them during the time I was away, it was a bit difficult to know they were there since I'd left my x-ray vision down in radiography. I just don't understand sometimes how patients and their families can expect us to give quality care and then have a go at us without taking into consideration the length of our shifts and how many shifts we've had to do in a row that week. I wouldn't change what I do for the world but some people just don't understand
Oh my frekin' heck! What is wrong with people? I see why my hubby quit nursing after 30 yrs. and I'm still considering nursing school because I want to make a difference. But not undermined by idiot family members and BFs!!
So happy that I work in a hospital were all visiting is under the control of the nurses. A spouse saying they have a right to visit doesn't carry any weight in our units. If the nurses feel the rpesence of any family member is harmful to their patient we forbit them from visiting. Our managment and security back us up on this.
Two or three times I have walked in my room to find a family member pouring varions liquids from Pepsi to Irish wiskey into the mouth of my intubated patient.
RNfindingherway, BSN, RN
799 Posts
This is ridiculous. My mouth dropped to the floor.