The Worst Hospital Visitor I've Ever Seen

[Ruby Vee]

There are so many . . . . how to choose?

There was the woman who'd had an aortic dissection repair, and things didn't go well. She had a perioperitive MI, a CVA and sepsis. All told, she was a patient in our ICU for six months. I didn't hear much about the patient's life from HER; she was confused and mostly nonverbal.

Her sister, however, sat at her bedside for hours and wanted to chat with the nurse. The sister, Katie, was a nice person and since I had just moved to the area, gave me a lot of tips about restaurants to try, where NOT to get your car repaired, and the like.

The HUSBAND, Milton, rarely showed up and when he did, he was the type of man who bellowed about "his rights" rather than understanding that when the patient is in CT (or having a line placed), the patient is unavailable for visitors, even of the spousal nature.

Katie put up pictures in the patient's room -- a smiling picture of her and her sister together, and multiple pictures of the patient's beloved dogs. "They're just like her children," Katie explained. "Milton never wanted children." Tellingly, there were no picture of Milton in the room.

He and Katie barely spoke and Katie told us that when Milton married her sister, he quit working and expected that she would support him, do all the cooking and cleaning and take care of his mother as well. As for the patient, she lit up whenever Katie arrived, but shut down whenever Milton did.

One weekend afternoon, Milton showed up just as I was helping the patient's nurse finish a bath and linen change. Without waiting for the two of us to finish up or get the dirty linen out of the way, Milton leaned over the bed and whispered (loudly enough for the patient and both of the nurses in the room to hear) "I killed your dogs. I said I would do it, and I did." That man has to take the prize for being ONE of the worst hospital visitors I've ever seen.

Years ago, when I worked in CCU, a 58 year old woman was admitted in cardiogenic shock. We placed a balloon pump, lined her, gave her multiple doses of morphine and finally, scheduled surgery for the following day. (The surgeon wanted to do it immediately, but there was already an emergency surgery in progress and the on call OR team were already in that OR.)

At six the next morning, I'm filling out the pre-op check list and a woman breezes in with two toddlers in tow. As I tried to explain to her that visitors under sixteen weren't allowed in the CCU, she told me that she had "just come to drop off her kids for their granny to watch."

Then there was the visitor who injected the patient with some street drug, right through the conveniently placed central line, because "Y'all don't give him none of the good stuff in here."

the-worst-hospital-visitor-ive-ever-seen.pdf

[AMatherRN]

Private duty hospice care in a hospital. 70+ year old male dying of liver and kidney failure who discontinued dialysis and other treatments except for palliative care. He was well loved amongst his friends and co-workers who came to visit and stayed and told him how much they loved and respected him, one of his friends breaking down to tell him how much he appreciated his influence and advice. This nurse had to leave the area to remain professional.

His wife had this look on her face - panicked and longing, but she respected his choice.

His children? I wanted to tell the daughter, who did adore her father and spent a lot of time with him - that at this point, milk thistle and other nostrums would not do him any good. He had no liver left and his kidneys were not coming back.

His son? Never wanted to smack someone through a window many stories up so much in my life. Besides trying to bully his father into treatments to see if a couple of more weeks would help, he would yell at his mother about how she gave up too easily and never made a good decision in her life. Had to tell him to keep it down and if he wanted to have this discussion, it had to be outside the room.

Patients, even when they're rude, nasty and violent, are never as much trouble as some family.

[SunnyPupRN]

Small boy brought in ER for head injury. Dad was beside himself, leaning against the wall, crying, begging to be let in while diagnostics were run. Dad was so heartbroken, praying out loud, "Please let him be ok, please!"

Praying for himself, it turned out, not the little boy, because it turned out he was the one who caused the injuries. It made everyone sick, that he had all everyone's compassion momentarily.

[maelstrom143]

Small boy brought in ER for head injury. Dad was beside himself, leaning against the wall, crying, begging to be let in while diagnostics were run. Dad was so heartbroken, praying out loud, "Please let him be ok, please!"

Praying for himself, it turned out, not the little boy, because it turned out he was the one who caused the injuries. It made everyone sick, that he had all everyone's compassion momentarily.

Your reminiscence made my chest hurt

[maelstrom143]

Worst visitor was a husband of a young woman [...].

Despicable human.

[maelstrom143]

Oh and the mom in labor who brought her other 6 kids with her, and no one to watch them, asking since we are nurses, aren't we qualified to babysit????

Case management consult for possible child protective services. Huge liability to have unsupervised children in the hospital.