The Worst Hospital Visitor I've Ever Seen

Not every family who visits is there to be supportive of the patient. Some of them are even downright unsupportive. Here are some of the worst visitors I've ever seen -- how about you? Nurses Relations Article

There are so many . . . . how to choose?

There was the woman who'd had an aortic dissection repair, and things didn't go well. She had a perioperitive MI, a CVA and sepsis. All told, she was a patient in our ICU for six months. I didn't hear much about the patient's life from HER; she was confused and mostly nonverbal.

Her sister, however, sat at her bedside for hours and wanted to chat with the nurse. The sister, Katie, was a nice person and since I had just moved to the area, gave me a lot of tips about restaurants to try, where NOT to get your car repaired, and the like.

The HUSBAND, Milton, rarely showed up and when he did, he was the type of man who bellowed about "his rights" rather than understanding that when the patient is in CT (or having a line placed), the patient is unavailable for visitors, even of the spousal nature.

Katie put up pictures in the patient's room -- a smiling picture of her and her sister together, and multiple pictures of the patient's beloved dogs. "They're just like her children," Katie explained. "Milton never wanted children." Tellingly, there were no picture of Milton in the room.

He and Katie barely spoke and Katie told us that when Milton married her sister, he quit working and expected that she would support him, do all the cooking and cleaning and take care of his mother as well. As for the patient, she lit up whenever Katie arrived, but shut down whenever Milton did.

One weekend afternoon, Milton showed up just as I was helping the patient's nurse finish a bath and linen change. Without waiting for the two of us to finish up or get the dirty linen out of the way, Milton leaned over the bed and whispered (loudly enough for the patient and both of the nurses in the room to hear) "I killed your dogs. I said I would do it, and I did." That man has to take the prize for being ONE of the worst hospital visitors I've ever seen.

Years ago, when I worked in CCU, a 58 year old woman was admitted in cardiogenic shock. We placed a balloon pump, lined her, gave her multiple doses of morphine and finally, scheduled surgery for the following day. (The surgeon wanted to do it immediately, but there was already an emergency surgery in progress and the on call OR team were already in that OR.)

At six the next morning, I'm filling out the pre-op check list and a woman breezes in with two toddlers in tow. As I tried to explain to her that visitors under sixteen weren't allowed in the CCU, she told me that she had "just come to drop off her kids for their granny to watch."

Then there was the visitor who injected the patient with some street drug, right through the conveniently placed central line, because "Y'all don't give him none of the good stuff in here."

the-worst-hospital-visitor-ive-ever-seen.pdf

Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.

You are correct, KatieMl, it wasn't the worst thing. I guess that at the time (1971) it was thought to be quite peculiar in the location where it happened. The New Age wasn't in full bloom at the time, and foreign folks were ....well, quite foreign to the rest of us.

Taken out of the context of the past, it sounds pretty reasonable, actually!

Didn't mean to offend or make fun of.....

Specializes in ICU, LTACH, Internal Medicine.

Fresh from the field:

Concerned family member of a very old, very sick patient who had a bit of secretions, was not yet able to cough them up and could not be deep suctioned often enough as he bit and fought it with all his mights which caused dangerous changes in heart rate/rhythm/bp, insisted on "something to be done to stop that horror". After being explained for an hour and a half everything possible and impossible, he said that we should have some sort of device to keep the patient's mouth open when we suction. After being told that there is no such device that could be used on alert human being without inflicting great discomfort and explained why it was so, he said that he himself saw just such a device in Europe. I know European (and non-European too) medicine good enough to know that such device couldn't exist but asked about it anyway. After a couple of minutes of intence googling, he found THIS:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/97/02/81/9702818d92c8aed8da264f9fec8f319e.jpg

It was just the right thing, he said.

For those who do not know, it is medieval mouth opener from Museum of torture, Rottenburg, Germany. One can buy a copy of this infamous device in souvenir kiosk for $10 or so. It makes a really useful household instrument as long as you don't think WHAT it was used for some 500 years ago.

I was left speechless after being named unhelpful and not listening to suggestions.

That is what they put in the women who fought for women to vote when they refused to eat when arrested for

voting previleges, ALice Paul was one of them. The put that metal thing in the mouth kept the jaw open and whipped up a dozen eggs and poured them raw down her throat.

And some people dont bother to vote.

Specializes in ICU, LTACH, Internal Medicine.

Yes, precisely.

For the truth's sake, dentists use mouth blocks. But to used THAT on one's own parent just to stop some temporary cough, it is just beyond my imagination.

One place I worked had an elderly woman who was very ill and intubated. She was the primary caregiver to her elderly husband who had Alzeimers. The patient's son would bring the husband to visit early in the morning and leave him at the hospital all day, and the pick him up in the evening. Needless to say that if you were the nurse assigned to this woman, not only did you take care of her, but also her husband. When the son was told that he couldn't just leave his father at the hospital all day, he said that he had to work and had nobody to look after his father.

The hospital isn't free adult day care.

Apparently it is at your facility, since this was tolerated. I'm stunned this went on for more than one day.

You can't fix stupid.

Lindarn, RN, BSN, CCRN

Somewhere in the PACNW

You can't fix stupid.

Lindarn, RN, BSN, CCRN

Somewhere in the PACNW

but how was stupid? the son that got away with it, or the hospital that allowed it?

Specializes in Post Anesthesia.
The boyfriend that insisted on sleeping over in the same bed as the post op patient EVERY night despite our manager trying to talk to him (not that she tried very hard r/t press ganey), demanding meal trays oh and also having sex with the patient in the room....None of our rooms are private...

I've had the same issue. I've had to get my patients boyfriend off her PICC line while they were in foreplay, and she wanted her Q2H Dilaudid injected before they got to "the good part". At least we have private rooms, but with some of our patients, we could charge a premium for a "semi" just for entertainment value.

Wow. I have two that I can think of in the one year I've been working as an RN. The first was I had a patient who was going through withdraw. The patient had been taking such high doses of heroin that one thing led to another and their bowels perforated and they ended up with a colostomy, the significant other ended up giving them a dose of heroine while in the hospital. Very nice. The second patient I had was on strict diets with uncontrolled diabetes type 2 (BS from 400s to 80s), a colostomy, multiple amputations from diabetes, etc, the family always brought this patient things like pizza and potato chips which they wouldn't clean up and then when her colostomy bag would come off from all the grease they would holler and blame the nurse. I had that patient once, walked in, said nope and told them that they had to clean up all the trash they had in there because I can't do my job with the stench of rotting trash. They did clean up but they complained about me.

Specializes in Operating Room.

OMG, terrible.

Specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro.

Quote from imintrouble

I could, but Press Gainey must be served.

Oh to hell with Press Gainey. In that situation I have to error on the side of my patient's best interest.

RIGHT...and anyway, the pt is the one that gets the survey. Can't imagine waking him up would be satisfying. :yawn:

Worst visitor was a husband of a young woman who had an MI after her 9th baby, he kept telling her she did not love God enough and did not pray hard enough and he was punishing her. He demanded a breast pump for her milk. We kept explaining to him her heart was too stressed and he would be raising 9 kids alone. He would say he understood and then berate her all over again about being punished by God.