The Things That Come Out Of Your Mouth...

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    Specializes in Programming / Strategist for allnurses. Has 27 years experience.

You are reading page 2 of The Things That Come Out Of Your Mouth...

amoLucia

7,735 Posts

Specializes in retired LTC.

I'm old school. I graduated 1974 in the days before Universal Precautions. Now (in the time before I retired) I would hand wash and/or sanitize. And I wore gloves SENSIBLY.

One night, I went in to check a NH pt's IV site. I just touched her arm (not the IV site) and she recoiled while screaming "you're not wearing gloves! Where's your gloves?". I swear before I could stop the words from jumping out of my mouth, I asked "Why? What do you have?"

Now remember, Univ Prec were devel & implemented at about the time of AIDS/HIV & Hep B vaccinations (early 1980s ish) and were intended TO PROTECT THE EMPLOYEE. Not the pt.

Just shows how deeply ingrained that early education was - all I could think of was I exposed to???

Just couldn't suck those words back in fast enough!!

Davey Do

1 Article; 10,183 Posts

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years). Has 44 years experience.
On 9/20/2021 at 6:13 PM, Hannahbanana said:

That was supposed to be me, I think.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, LTACH, LTC, Home Health. Has 37 years experience.

I went in to greet my patient at the beginning of the shift. Before I could say hello, she fired off at me, asking “why is my d*** leg hurting”? My reflexive response was “how in the h*** should I know? I’ve never met you or your d*** leg before”.

Davey Do

1 Article; 10,183 Posts

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years). Has 44 years experience.

I came to the adult psych unit on my midnight shift back when I was working eights and passed by a patient sitting in the hallway outside of the NS. I knew that he was probably a new admission, waiting for the process to begin.

I greeted him rather warmly, introduced myself, and said I'd be right with him after I got report. He merely grunted.

During the assessment/admission process, he crassly insulted me. I replied, "You know, your comment would really bother me...

...if I had any respect for you".

I added: "Just because I was pleasant to you doesn't mean that I'm..."

He finished my statement for me and said, "Weak".

I agreed, we had a nice chat, and got along swimmingly after that.

Another time,  under the same circumstances, I walked into the day room were a patient was waiting to be admitted. I again greeted him, introduced myself and informed him of the admission process. He said, "X you!"

I replied, Well, x you!"

I immediately went into a rote spiel, part of it being, "I can be your best friend, or your biggest stumbling block. The choice is yours".

Again, he apologized, we had a nice chat, and completed the admission process without incident.

Specializes in Flight/ICU-CCU/ER/Paramedic. Has 20 years experience.

A woman called and mentioned that her nephew had intestinal worms and she had managed to catch one on the way out, but it tore in half, and being unable to tell if she had the head part or tail part she was unsure if the worm would die or grow a tail back. 

Me: ??? for about 3 seconds as I repeated the essence of the matter to my L hand (also my ER doc). 

Now my ER doc: ???

Me: It’s impossible to say. Was this a large worm? 

Caller: About a foot long. 

Me, ER doc & small support group:  ??? That’s a big worm. We recommend that your nephew be seen by his pediatrician for treatment. Call in the morning and tell them the ED advised you to call to be seen, describe the issue to them. Of course, we are always here, we do recommend that you contact your primary care doc or insurance nurse line for guidance. Worms happen in kids. How old is your nephew? 

Caller: 17 

Me: Your 17 year old nephew actually let you look at his butt and then pull a worm out of it. Wow. 
(I couldn’t stop myself). 

ER doc: And remind me again of your previous high-end career in PR and all those witty beauty queen answers you always had ready to share. 

Me: Bite me. 

T-Bird78

1,007 Posts

Has 6 years experience.

I’d opened the door to the waiting room and called my next pt back. Pt stood up and told me to keep talking, as he was following the sound of my voice. Pt had on the dark glasses and unfolded his cane, completely blind, and I guided him verbally to me and counted off steps to the door (he’s a regular so I knew about his blindness).  Pt asked to use the restroom before we get into an exam room, so I guide him physically to the bathroom door, open it for him, and tell him “light switch is on the right!”  I’d been so careful not to say the usual ‘good to see you again’ like I do with most pts, and had to go and do the light switch thing. LOL. 

Davey Do

1 Article; 10,183 Posts

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years). Has 44 years experience.

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Joe V

10 Articles; 2,429 Posts

Specializes in Programming / Strategist for allnurses. Has 27 years experience.

Share something that came out of your mouth (when talking to your patient) which shouldn't have? Or, something you heard that just cracks you up. 😁

Specializes in Med-Surg, Geriatrics, Wound Care. Has 11 years experience.
On 7/20/2022 at 9:06 AM, Joe V said:

Share something that came out of your mouth (when talking to your patient) which shouldn't have? Or, something you heard that just cracks you up. 😁

Sometimes a terrible "joke" pops into my head and I offer it to patients (after explaining it is dark and terrible). "I always heard that rigor mortis happens after you die, but I did not realize it started while still alive". (in reference to people that just complain about aching with every movement). It is in my head way too much.

Davey Do

1 Article; 10,183 Posts

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years). Has 44 years experience.

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Davey Do

1 Article; 10,183 Posts

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years). Has 44 years experience.

Double Post Ghost

 

HiddenAngels

790 Posts

Has 9 years experience.

ha hah! these are so funny.

Mine has to do with the purewick.  I fumble everytime.

Putting the purewick on the incontinent patient so they won't have to lay in wet.   Patient says oh what's this. I explain it to them they agree and I go to place it there...uggh.    while placing it there, "okay open up I'm just going to place it right here, can you feel it starting to suck"... ugggh.  After I place it there more fumbling.. "just go ahead and pee it's going to start sucking"....uggh...

Someone please help me with verbage for this...I'm at the point where I don't even want to say anything..