The Things That Come Out Of Your Mouth...

[Joe V]

Did you ever have a time when something came out of your mouth which shouldn't have? How about a co-worker, friend, or family?

Share it with us. ?

[Davey Do]

I was working a Saturday for the LPN who regularly worked the methadone clinic dosing the clients.

One client, who also had an axis II diagnosis, made numerous requests, like wanting something else besides the orange-flavored drink we gave with which to swallow the methadone. After about the third request, the client stated, "I'm not trying to be a pain".

"Oh, you don't have to try", I responded, "You're a natural."

[Davey Do]

Our LPN class met first thing in the morning for about a half an hour before going to our assigned floors to do clinicals for a few hours. In the afternoons we had classroom for the remainder of the day.

Our instructor informed us one morning that she would begin teaching us how to give IM injections that afternoon. She mentioned that she was feeling a little nervous because her supervisor would be there to observe.

Classroom time came and the instructor was reviewing the initial steps on how to administer an IM injection. One typically challenging naysaying student asked, "Are you supposed to slap the patient before giving the injection?"

"We are to NEVER slap a patient" the instructor said.

The student retorted, "Well, a nurse slapped me!"

I responded, "Maybe you deserved it".

[Hannahbanana, BSN, MSN]

I was at a professional organization members meeting, sitting in the back row with my laptop frantically trying to change my cross-country flight home because a huge blizzard was coming in to my home area the next day - and if I didn’t get out immediately I was looking at probably sleeping on the floor at my (grubby) connecting airport for at least two days.

I was just half-listening as the meeting droned on with committee reports and whatnot. Then I heard the president announce something-something-something award to be given to somebody something-something who joined the association in 200x (I said to myself, Hmmm, same year as me. Who?) and then heard, “The first annual award for outstanding volunteer service goes to …” (me).

And out of my big mouth came a loud, “Oh, (rhymes with luck)!” Laughter ensued. They knew me well.

There were calls for “Speech! Speech!” but I said, “I’m so sorry … blizzard … airport right now… gotta go!” And ran. Made the last flight into home airport arriving at 2am, snow just starting to come down. Just made it home, took two days to dig out.

[Davey Do]

The 1st annual award for outstanding volunteer service goes to...

[Hannahbanana, BSN, MSN]

Green bananas at our house ?

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

The first time I had a patient from our local correctional facility I was on the med-surg unit. He was shackled to the bed with one arm and leg as he came up from the ED. Per our protocol I was getting him changed into hospital appropriate attire and we were maneuvering around the shackles. He started complaining very loudly about the inconvenience of them, more to the COs than to me, but I said, half-jokingly "well, maybe next time you shouldn't do whatever it is that got you shackled to a bed and then we wouldn't have this problem". Fortunately he laughed because after I said that I realized I had NO IDEA what brought him to be a resident of our local correctional facility, which does have a maximum security unit. Most of the correctional facility patients, and COs, are very happy to be in our hospital so the patients are usually on especially good behavior. 

[guest1163268]

7 hours ago, Davey Do said:

Did Banana Face just *** himself or sat on something ????? 

[Hannahbanana, BSN, MSN]

That was supposed to be me, I think. ?

[soontoretire2020, BSN]

My patient says "I have a headache". So I say "I will see if you can have some Tylenol". I then remembered that he was in the hospital because he took an overdose of Tylenol.

[evastone, BSN, RN]

I was administering an enema to a two year old patient that immediately backfired, spraying explosive feces all over me. I gave a shriek and one of the doctor said "Oh sh**!" 

[nursej22, MSN, RN]

I was recovering a heart cath patient who very unhappy with the prescribed bed rest, unhappy with my demeanor, and unhappy that she was not being treated in the manner she thought befit a woman of her social standing. I was doing everything I could think of to promote comfort and she kept proclaiming about my failure to meet her needs and that she was a personal acquaintance of the nursing supervisor. I finally blurted out "that I if were her, I would be nicer to the person bringing her pain meds."

And then, guess who stopped by? Out in the hall I confessed my sin, and the supe brushed it off, saying "oh that's just Mary. She won't remember a thing tomorrow. "